my ex boyfriend won't see his son or pay maintenance.csa are useless what else can i do?

Question

he's living a life of luxury and its not fair

Answer 1

It's sad to know that men won't accept there responsibilities. Be proactive and go to your local child support office. They will provide you with the guidance to get the support needed. I'm in California & the CS system here is very helpful. There is so much information available to you on the internet.

I read a couple of answer's to your question and I'm really appauled by some the responses. People of all races, color & religion have children out of wedlock. Judging people doesn't make you any better.

Answer 2

If he will not willing pay support for his child get a lawyer, and take him to family court. The courts are cracking down on dead beat parents (mothers & fathers). His life of luxury can end very quickly in a prison cell. If the judge gives him an amount to pay you for the child, he will sit in jail until he pays-up. If you don't have money for an attonery, contact social services, thay should be able to offer some astiance on one that will work with you. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

My son's father was the exact same way. I know in WA they take their license away, the have warrants out for them, and they get so far behind that they still have to pay after the age of 18. You can try contacting one of those agency that collect support not the state support people but there are some other agency's that do this, you have to pay a fine, but they work. Only thing really you can do, is always let the support people know where he lives his place of work if not under the table, his phone number, and you can always take him back to court to prove that he is not paying.

Answer 4

Don't try to force an unwilling man to participate in his child's life. Find a solid, responsible man who will be a good male role model, since it sounds like your ex would be a nightmare to a growing child's psyche.

You CAN get child support. Court orders will be enforced and there's a federal system to help no matter what state you or he lives in. A wage garnishment can be taken against his wages, and if he's behind in payments, they can grab his tax refund, or even suspend his driver's license and take away his passport. I get child support through my state's Child Support Enforcement agency, and my ex lives in anothere state and was more than $30,000 behind. Now, there's a garnishment on his wages, and he's paying more to start paying back the arrearage.

Answer 5

Log all these details so that you can explain to your child why his doesnt see her father. Why are you forcing your child on him, sod him when you son becomes a successful man it will not be due to having his self esteem shattered by being excepted to see a father who not interested. Let him have it his way and regret it.

As for csa do you best to get the money even get a lawyer and let it be.

He has had his chance to be a father and broke that contract. Now move on.

Answer 6

So sue him. Life isn't fair, but hard work and a good outlook can provide your son with a life that he deserves. You picked your ex, your son didn't have a say in the matter. You'll do a great job on your own. Surround him with good role models and your behavior will impact your son more than a silver spoon.

Answer 7

Contact child support services, I know where I live you do this in the same office as you would apply for welfare, food stamps, etc.
If you are not receiving state aid they are not quite as willing to help you but it is your job as a parent to MAKE them help you. Just keep pushing them to make him pay, it is their job.
Eventually he will get so sick of being dragged into court he will either pay every week/month or he will have his wages garnished, lose his license to drive or spend some time in jail.
You owe it to your child to get support money for him.
As for him not seeing the child, you cannot force him to do that but if he does not want to then it is better for your child.

Answer 8

Be aggressive with Child Support Authorities. You need to know your son's father's social security number, you may have to have a paternity test done (depending on your state), and then they will assign you a case worker. A hearing will then be set and if he doesn't show up, a default order will be in place. You have to be aggressive on both ends, persistence is key.

Answer 9

This is a long shot. But bear with me! The CSA apparently have to take their declared earnings as read and will cross reference his tax return/ End of year P60 details. You can call the Inland Revenue's (All calls are completely confidential) Tax Evasion Hotline if you think that he is falsifying his income to avoid paying CSA money. Their number is:- 0800 788887.

It is worth a try. We mums would do ANYTHING for our Kids!! I hate it when these exes swan around splashing cash around themselves and won't cough up a few quid for their own children. My child's step dad is the one who helps me bring my child up and who contibutes towards this financially, he treats her as his own. Her biological father hasn't worked for 4 1/2 years!!

Answer 10

OK - an unpopular view, but I'm going to express it anyway. If you have a child outside of marriage, this is what you can expect. Having a child by a man who won't commit enough to marry you, and you're asking for a life of single motherhood with little or no help. I know plenty of married men are as bad, but at least that piece of paper gives you some rights.