my ex won't pay maintenance or see his son and csa are useless,what else can i do?

Question

how do i get my ex to provide for his son and see him on a regular bases?? ive tried everything

Answer 1

get on with your life
AND keep your feelings/comments about your ex to yourself and remain neutral on the subject to your child.

Women have 'choice' when it comes to being a parent...men don't

Answer 2

Where I live in California, you can request a wage assignment on the other parent as a means of collecting child support. With a wage assignment, the other parent's employer is legally required to withhold the amount of the child support from the other parent's paycheck. They are then required to send that money to the District Attorney's office in a timely manner. The District Attorney's office then sends that money to you. At least that's how it works where I live. The problem with this system is if the other parent does not stay steadily employed, then obviously there is no paycheck to withhold the child support from. However, in this case, the amount of child support will go to arrears, which means when the other parent starts working again, they will owe this money, and you can start collecting it again. This is a favorite trick of my ex's - I have a wage assignment on him, but he will only keep a job maybe 3-4 months, just long enough for the child support checks to start coming regularly, and then he will find some way to either get fired or quit his job. Unfortunately, it's a vicious cicle. The other thing you can do is hire an attorney to establish a child support order, but you will end of spending alot of money, and if your ex refuses to stay steadily employed, then what's the point? I completely understand how you feel; it's very frustrating. Plus, unfortunately, there is not much you can do to "force" your ex to see his son, sad as that seems. Best of luck to you

Answer 3

Cathy, i am in exactly the same situation....cr.ap isnt it.

There is not a thing you can do though, i would not push the boy on his dad though, because he will get a vibe that his dad doesnt really want to spend time with him and i think rather than put him in the sitation cut all contact.

Kids from single parent, loving and caring homes has to produce more stable kids than families where the kids have a parent who has no time for them....CSA deal with payments but as for contact, take control, dont let dad walk in and out of your babys life when he feels like.....ther is no such thing as a part time parent.

Answer 4

CSA have now changed and are operating differently so try them again. They are now sending baliffs round if they refuse to pay. If you are recieving benefits you will be able to keep £10 of the money he pays each week, if you are working you will recieve the whole job lot. Keep on their case and ring them everyday that will keep them on their toes and they will be so desperate to keep you off their case they will proccess your claim quickly, if it comes to it threaten to take them to court, they will soon see sense

There is no point in trying to make him see his son if he doesn't want to but make sure that everyime he gets his wage packet there is a dent in there for his child.
Not all men but alot of men are ridiculous and seem to think that they can father a child and get off scot free, don't let him be one of them.

Love your son as I'm sure you do for enough of the both of you and he will soon see that he isn't needed in either of your lives.

Good luck and i hope it all works out for you, from the sound of things you are a dedicated mom just trying to do the best for her child
WELL DONE

Answer 5

You can't unfortunately force him to see his son, but you can get a court order to garnish his salary direct (the court instructs his employers to pay a certain sum direct into a special account and the money is then made available to you each month). You should get some legal advice and I hope everything works out for you in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 6

i don,t think you can do anything really,i was in the same situation once although it was 12 years ago, my ex left his job rather than help support his 2 children! c.s.a didn,t help me although they wanted my wage slips when i met a new partner so that they could work out how much he had to pay! your son will grow up with no respect for his father. i find it really sad when a parent turns there back on a child,try not to get bitter about the situation and bring your son up the best you can without him,good luck.

Answer 7

If he won't prepared pay help for his toddler get a criminal expert, and take him to relatives court docket. The courts are cracking down on ineffective beat mothers and dads (mothers & fathers). His life of luxurious can end very promptly in a reformatory cellular. If the decide provides him an quantity to pay you for the youngster, he will take a seat in reformatory till he pays-up. in case you haven't any longer have been given money for an attonery, touch social centers, thay could be waiting to grant some astiance on one which will paintings with you. reliable luck!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Your ex sounds like a right tosser - my friend is going through the same thing at the moment and I honestly think that if he can walk around and not acknowledge his son in any way he doesn't deserve to know him! Your son is the most precious thing you will ever have in your life and if your ex doesn't feel the same way then balls to him!
Your both better off without him and his stupid money

Answer 9

do what I did - go see a solicitor, and get him taken to court for child support - (you may be able to get legal aid if youre on a low income or definitely benefits, also you can do the same to prove paternity), it seems he thinks by not seeing his child he isnt financially responsible for him, you cant force this guy to see his son, However if this guys name is ont he birth certificate, legally by law he IS the father until a dna test proves otherwise. so he is threfore duty bound under the law to pay maintainance, when you take him to court for child support (I wouldnt accept the bloke saying he'll see his child instead of making child support payments, as he'll only do it for a few weeks til after the court date has been cancelled, or accept cash payments from him in return for cancellign the court case either - as he'll only pay til after the case has been cancelled in a court of law - dont make the mistakes I did) if he wants to challenge paternity at the court case in the family court - (normally held in the magistrates courts) - let him family court is more than used to this kind of stalling tactic, and will order a dna test, and will also tell him that he can pay for it himself, and send him to a court approved dna test centre/lab, and they will also tell him that if the child turns out to be his - he will pay for the test - but if not he may get a refund - dna test fee waived. If he refuses to turn up to court, providing you have photographs of the 2 of them together or some kind of evidence - letters, birthcertificates, etc, take it to family court, the court may very well prove paternity in his absence - without a dna test, plus they will issue an order to have the child support deducted directly from his wages before he even gets them. The law changed saying you had to be supported as well as your child, if you gave up work to have/look after this child tell the court as theyll look more favourably.Good luck

Answer 10

If he doesn't want to see his son you are better off without him,I know it hurts but eventually you will see that you and your son are better that way.I went through the same thing as you,it was hard for me and my daughter but now I am in a happy relationship with someone who treats my daughter like his own,things will get better,but don't slag off your ex partner to your son,it doesn't do any good.

Answer 11

I asked my local Representative to help me. She contacted the lawyers from the state where I live. Once she did this child support made a meeting with me to see how we could resolve my ex's unpaid child support case. They got right on it, went after him, revoked his license, took him to court, and made him pay.

As far as making him visit your son. That is not worth it if he will not see him. But you could certainly talk with his family and see if any of them are wanting to visit with your son.