hi all...i am an architect by profession and am to get married this jan...my fiance is a gem of a person and cares alot for me but he does not take my career seriously...my boss does not allow me to go home during the lunch break ...the rule is eat in the office..but he says that his dad wants the entire family on the lunch table and so i should quit my job..this job means a lot to me...what do i do??? i am not in a position to directly talk about my problem to his dad as yet as i am scared of his dad.
2006-09-24 07:14:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Uh, yeah...and when your husband divorces you (not saying he will) who's gonna feed you?? Keep the job and just laugh it off, eventually he'll get the hint you like your job.
2006-09-24 07:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ ms. @ ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you you don't need any man that doesn't care anything about a career you have worked hard to get. Your earned to be were you are right now, and your thinking about throwing it away because of a lunch break ordeal? I'm sorry if I sound harsh but i'm not trying to be, i'm just trying to be honest. Love is about being there for someone and supporting them even when they have tough jobs like you do. He cares nothing about your job. He could care less if you got a promotion, if you were happy or sad coming from work, if you got fired, and so on...... In his eyes your job is non existent. Who cares about what his father wants. His father doesn't pay your bills, and his father is not going to support you if you decide to quit your job either. This is petty stuff your fiance is asking of you, and if he's asking and demanding things like this from you now, what do you think he will be like in the future once you get married????? His family seems more important at this point, otherwise he would never had asked something like that of you to begin with. You don't need to be scared of his dad. What do you think he's going to do to you???? Your a grown woman, and he has no authority over you whatsoever. Don't let this man intimidate you, you need to stand up for yourself and tell him how you feel. If his father can't understand then that's his problem not yours. If your boyfriend is against you with this then you are truly with the wrong guy. A really good man would never ask this from his woman. He would be supportive with her career and have understanding of her situation as well.
2006-09-24 09:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This were your fiance should get involved and explain that to his dad and let him know that you are not trying to be rude but that the rules of your job and he should understand that. You should not feel like you should have to quit your job for that reason and should stand your ground and make a time for the lunch to take place on a day that is conv. you and your job and should explain that to him that your job is important to you and that you want to keep it and that his son is more important than the job but now in this day and age it really takes 2 to work in the house hold to make ends meet. Especially now that marriage is the works and possible children in the future
2006-09-24 07:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by fordsrock_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have to forgive me for doubting if your fiance is really a gem!! He's asking you to give up your professional career so you can eat lunch with his dad???? You're scared of his dad???? You want to marry into this kind of family??? Are you ready to be controlled by the men in this family forever??? Have you had your puppet strings installed yet??? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.....or have you thought you'd change him (and his dad) later? You won't, you know. My advice is give yourself the gift of freedom. NOW!! Free to be a professional architect. Free to find a husband, not a boss. Free to make choices.
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!
2006-09-24 07:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your and architect, but you can't spell "with", and you're about to marry a guy who wants you to quit your job because his dad wants you at the there for lunch, and you're afraid of your future father-in-law? And you are working for a firm that forces you to eat in the office?
You are not mature enough to get married yet. Also, your fiance does not really love you if he does not take your career seriously. You need to seriously think about what you are about to do and whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy. Also, you may want to think about changing companies.
2006-09-24 07:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Interesting .. Do you really want to get involved with a family who decides what you do for your lunch break?What happens when children,buying a house,finances etc.. are the issues.Step back and have an honest conversation with this gem of a guy. If he really loves and respects you he accepts the whole package including your career.
2006-09-24 07:22:38 · answer #6 · answered by Style Girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what do you mean his dad wants you all at the lunch table.
I mean for one day or every day. And whywould you be eatting lunch with his dad everyday?
It is the law that you get a lunch break and you shouldn't have to eat in the office everyday.
I wouldn't quit. I would tell his dad that i have a job and i can't be coming home every day for lunch. I would aslo tell my job that i am not staying in for lunch eveyday.
2006-09-24 07:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, well from my own experiences,I've learned to never put aside your life, your hobbies, or anything of value to you, for anybody. I did for 6.5 years finding myself alone with no interest in anything that I used to enjoy,I pretty much "forgot"as I allowed myself to lose my identity being with this man. So why does lunch matter,isn't supposed to be dinner that brings all together?And isn't a second income more important than lunchtime?And third who are you marrying the son or the father?Don't be intimidated is what i'm trying to get through to you,If your fiance' can't defend his future wife with something like this,then how will your future look like??(doesn't love include what makes each other happy)hmmm?Think about it for a minute,good luck.
2006-09-24 07:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by neshlov 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who are you marrying him or his dad? If you can't get things strait now it's going to be harder when you are married. He needs to value you more than his family that has to do with caring about what is important to you like your work or this marriage isn't going to last. Why are you scared of him? There are a lot of red flags going up you better consider before getting married in Jan. You two need to have a heart to heart and you better set limits or you are going to get walked on.
2006-09-24 07:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by miss moni 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey buddy.That's really a big problem but i can cure it.The simple way is to tell ur Fiance tat if u wanna indulge in my profession then plz quit me.The person with whom u r going to live should understand u and then only u will be able to live happily.N e way if u cant do this then u just hav to speak to ur boos or tell ur fiance to meet ur boss.
2006-09-24 07:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by Vk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you can't give up being an architect just to sit at the lunch table on time, right?
2006-09-24 07:17:34 · answer #11 · answered by casual observer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋