moving in with my bf?

Question

me and my bf are going to move in together next yr we have been datin 4 nearly 2yrs now,but we argue a lot over little stuff but when we see each other its great and we get on fine,we live quite far away thats why we are moving in i only see him weekends mostly but we have a close relantionship even thou we are so far apart do you think that by us moving in is it going to be different between us or do you think we are doing the wrong thing by moving in just because we dont see each over much,i dont want to live with him and then we find out that we are not good together by being around each over allthe time im worried that are relationship mite come to an end??

Answer 1

If You're worried about it, don't do it....I have been living with my boyfriend going on 3 years now. I have been married 2X and divorced each time after 20 yrs. (Hm-m-m 40 years.) I feel I've been married all my life (which I have) and this relationship has been similar. The first year is sort of love - hate while adjustments occur. Then, as conciliations are made, it gets better. This year has been great! It all takes time and flexiblity--it won't be perfect-there is no "Shangrila"-but it sure beats living alone and spending so much time traveling to see each other.

Answer 2

This is a difficult one. Obviously you are into each other and you want to be able to see each other more often, but at the same time moving in together too soon might mean that you don't last.

I think it is important to be totally sure about moving in with someone. It is important to have a bolt-hole if this is the first time you have lived together so that there is somewhere for you to get space if you argue or just need time alone.

If you're having doubts take them seriously. Maybe living closer to each other rather than moving in would make you feel move comfortable. Even if you spend every night together at least there is a way out if the worst comes to the worst.

Then when you know for sure that living together won't be a problem because you already spend all your time together, you'll feel less apprehensive about having somewhere between the two of you.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 3

I am in a very very similar situation. Currently my BF and i live about 8 hours apart and we're lucky if we can make the drive eack weekend to see each other. Unfortunately there is no chance of us moving in with each other at this point and I'm actually scared also of what might happen if we do.

But for you, it's probably a good idea if you feel so close to your Bf to move in with him. Maybe i wouldn't get a house and start paying mortgage yet but if you found an apartment or rented a house then you wouldn't be in the contract for the long haul. I think living with each other is such a good idea especially if you haven't spent a lot of time with eachother. If you get along with eachother then that's terrific and if not then it's best to find out now rather then say waiting til your married and realizing "oh yeah we don't know how compatable we are living in the same space". And sharing space with anyone is difficult, even friends so if you can manage to make it through living with eachother then you know your relationship is set and wonderful.
Good luck with everything, and hopefully all works out with you and your BF

Answer 4

Even if it doesn't work out isn't it better that you find out sooner rather than later. I mean you could date for the next 5 years then discover you cannot live together.

Living with a partner is hard. But living with a friend is just as hard, living with anyone is hard. My piece of advice would be, don't let the little trivial things get in the way, I mean so what if someone leaves the toilet seat up or doesn't but the cap back on the tooth paste. These things will annoy the hell out of you but remember the important things in life (like you love eachother) instead of letting all the little things spoil it.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I'm in a long distance relationship and plan on moving in with my guy probably next summer (maybe a little bit later, it all depends on how things go since we're both in college and he's going to transfer to the school I go to) and I say yeah, go ahead and move in. That's the only way you're going to know how you get along with him when you're around him all the time.

Although actually I've found in my own relationship, me and my bf have only had serious arguments online. And I've stayed with him numerous times, the longest being two weeks, and I've found in person we get along almost perfectly and haven't had any major disagreements or actually almost no small disagreements either. So who knows, maybe once you move in with your bf you won't be arguing over the little stuff as much even.

Answer 6

At the end of the day, go for it! The only way you will find out if you and your bf are meant to be together is to see how u get along when u live together. The adjustment period may be hard but give it a few months and see what happens. Best of luck!

Answer 7

I think you probably need to move on not in if you argue a lot. That's just not right. If you love each other you shouldn't fight a lot and if you love each other then I think marriage is better than living together. (Old fashion I guess) If you have to ask for advice from strangers about moving in with him then you probably shouldn't. Good luck. Life is short, enjoy it. Don't spend it arguing over little things, just agree to disagree on little things.

Answer 8

You argue because you obviously dont spend enough time with eachother. Youre prob both insecure because of this.

Me and my boyf have been together nearly 3 years, we intend to move in together by middle next year. Though he lives just 10 mins down the road from me, we barely see eachother more than twice a week. We both work long hours. We also both know we love eachother alot, we constantly talk about our future together and want to spend the rest of our lives together. Im 28, hes 34.

We argue, but only over petty things, most of it is down to insecurities, because we dont see eachother enough.

Providing you are both very much in love and both want the same things, i say go for it.

At least you will be coming home to eachother, grow fond of eachother and know eachother alot more. If things dont work out, who cares, you can go your separate ways and move out.

If you dont do it, you could regret it for not trying to give your relationship a chance.

Try it, i cant wait myself! Goodluck hun!!!

P.s ignore my avatar name, im unlucky in some things, but in advice in relationships, never..........
xx

Answer 9

Moving in isn't that big of a deal. The most important thing is that you continue to comunicate. write notes, email, even talk with a wall between you when things get bad. Just keep talking. Any relationship is not easy to keep together. Good Luck and Enoy your time together.

Answer 10

you guys could give it a try. all couples argue sometime or another, so i dont think its something you have to worry about. maybe you guys even argue because youre frusterated you cant be with each other as often as you like. if you find out that you guys arent good together then just accept the fact and move on. if you guys love each other enough you will make it. who knows? this move could even bring you closer.