Should I ,or should I not?

Question

My 13 yr. old daughter says she`s ready to take on more responsiblities.For Christmas,she wants something sort-of expensive such as either a digital camera,alaptop,a cell phone,etc.Last year,her grandmother got her a video camera,and after the first week ,she lost it.But, she has really improved a lot on her responsibilties,and done a lot to try and imprees me and her dad.She really deserves something like that,but im just not sure she`s ready for that responsibility again so soon.Should I buy her something sort-of costy ,or should I not?PLEASE HELP ME!

Answer 1

Important perspective here--do not buy her anything you expect her to keep and take care of. She is 13, normal, and losing things, even very important things, is a normal part of the learning curve. It's all part of the journey.

Let her earn the money to buy something (even with chores, grades, etc). Let her stand at the register, and hand over what she sees as her money. It will help her "vest" with the item.

Never replace anything she loses, she must do that.

Losing stuff is part of life. She will feel bad enough when it happens.

Even as an adult, I don't buy nice pens or sunglasses, I will lose them.

With my three teen sons, the deal with the cell phone--the absolute -- is that they tell me if it gets lost/stolen. That way, I can immediately block the number. Middle son lost his, told me right away. Good lessons on taking care of critical issues rather than stressing whether mom is going to be mad, or maybe if I look for a day or two, it will show up.

What a delightfully human, normal teen you have!!

Answer 2

No cell phone, no web cam...beyond that, I feel an affordable starter laptop is okay so she can do homework on it. I am not sure if it should be on the Internet. If you have a PC on the net, in the family room, she can use this with you present. Be sure she can't log on when you are NOT there. Too much wacko stuff out there for her age. Another good gift is portable DVD player.

If there is an issue, give her an allowance, and let her save up to her items. If she looses it, she's out. You can then cut her allowance, until she becomes consistent in the care of her money and her possessions. This is training for the future. Be sure she does chores for her allowance. $2 for vacuuming the house, $10 for mowing the lawn, $5 for doing her own laundry etc. Decide in advance with your husband what she could take on and how much she should get paid for it. If she spends the money weekly, she will simply not have money for her own Christmas gift...simple as that.
That is true to life.

Answer 3

I have a 14 year old and personally, I think he is still to young to take on the responsibility of having things that are costly. I bought him a digital camera last year and since then has lost both the charger and the camera. I told him that if he wants something else that is costly, he has to do chores around the house and help work off the expense. When he realized that I wasn't going to foot the entire expense again, he got more serious about having nice things. It's still early yet so talk to her about this, tell her your thoughts and get hers in return. Remind her that you are working hard to provide her with the nice things she wants and that there is a responsibility that comes with them.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Well if she is trying then why not?

You can get a good digital camera that has good quality around 50.00 around the holidays. To me (even with a low income) isn't that expensive.

As far as a lap top, whats wrong with the family computer?

A cell phone? Well maybe for that she could do jobs around the neighborhood and save for a prepaid phone. If you post on FREECYCLE.COM you might be able to get a good used on for free. Then she would only have to buy a card for it. Jobs could be outside babysitting, raking leaves, walking dogs. Of course for people you have also screened.

I would recommend you trust and work with your daughter. Start out small this year. If shes done good then move it up a step next year.

Answer 5

I have four children myself. If you would like to give her another shot to be responsible go ahead but don't make it expensive choice. There are many inexpensive choices out there... buy the cheaper of them that way if she makes another mistake then it doesn't seem so bad. Such as a cell phone... you can buy one that is pay as you go and then she can earn her minutes buying working toward them. As far as a digital camera there are inexpensive choices. a lap top??? that would be an if-fy one for me because of all the things that you hear happen online.

Answer 6

In the end, I really think its your choice, seeing as she's your daughter. But I would get her something like a digital camera, (not too, too expensive) and see how she does with it. If she takes care of it, and she's being responsible, get her something a little more expensive next Christmas.

Answer 7

Well I guess that is your call. I would steer away from something that big..and defiantly not a cell phone! Try something like a palm pilot and see how she handles that first. It is a little costly but not to bad and then if she handles that well then move to something more costly like a camera!

Answer 8

I think in order for her to be more responsible for something like that she needs to be personally invested in it as well. Encourage her to save up her allowance (or babysitting money - whatever) to pay for half of the item and then you'll pay the other half. Since she's put HER money into it, she is more likely to be more watchful. If it gets lost again - she should have to replace it herself.

Answer 9

You could try having her do jobs around the house to help pay for it. If she earns the money herself then maybe she will be more responsible with it.

Answer 10

If you do decide to go with something like that (which I say go for it) I would just give her limits. Help her be responsible. Good luck!!