Am I the only one that sees something wrong?

Question

My bestfriend has a daughter that is my daughters age and they both started kinder. Well she keeps blaming the teacher for not teaching her daughter basic stuff like her name how to write it and her colors. Now I got mad and told her well technically she should have known her colors by the age of 3! and the pre req for Kinder is knowing their 1st and last name and how to write it! My daughter started kinder with the basic fundamentals of reading, spelling, her full name how to write it. her home adress, phone number, and DOB. Now my friend gives me the excuse well I dunno what the sitter does with her while im at wrk! BUT she can when she gets home help her or take her learning books 2 the sitter. Its ppl like that who will blame the system when their child fails or dosent get accepted to a good HS or college! Am I wrong for bringing this to her attention? Im looking out for her child while there is still a chance! Or should I butt out?

Well Im only allowed a certain amount of letters to write out my question so I cut kindergarten short and I never do compare my child to hers when im trying to tell her something I always suggest getting her some books to do in the car while shes driving ect. I will ask her child the colors and aske her what her fav color is I try to be sudle about it

Okay so if your son is yelling and srreaming in class he should have been taught that there are other ways to avoid being bored. My daughter is advanced and pulls out her note book and practices writting words she sees to then go home and ask me about them. If your child is showing thsi type of behaviourmaybe try skipping him up a grade or ask the teacher tohand him out more advanced sheets there should be no reason for a child to be yelling singing in class and disrupting others

Answer 1

I think you are 100% right about this! And as far as people telling you to butt out, you are certainly within your rights to express an honest opinion to your best friend!

Answer 2

The problem is she didn't choose a good babysitter or spend the time with her daughter herself to teach her these things. In my generation kindergarten was where you learned how to write and socialize and sing, but now all that has been loaded on preschool. From what you say, I assume this child never went to preschool and so she's at a sizable disadvantage in her class.

If the parent buckles down and starts working with her daughter or gets into her into a program where she learns this stuff, the daughter can still recover and do well this year. If not, the daughter will probably be repeating kindergarten.

You've said about all you can say. Unless you are willing to take the girl after school and work with her on the basics, you can't help any more.

I would definitely get rid of that babysitter. I can't imagine having a babysitter that doesn't quiz the kids on colors as a game. She must not be involved with the kids at all. Since the child doesn't even know her colors, I assume she was not allowed to watch Sesame Street either.

Answer 3

Even though it might be none of your business you are probably right. This other parent is a basic slouch who likes to blame everyone else for her problems/shortcomings/failures. Her daughter will grow up to be the same way.

It is always a good idea for a kid to know how to write their name, address and phone number by the time they leave the house, or at the very least to know it so if they get lost somehow they can tell someone who they are and their address and phone number. I remember knowing that by the time I started school; all the kids had to stand up and tell the class their address and phone number; I remember being scared to death because our phone exchange back then was called ALpine and the first part of the number was ALpine4- ... I did not know if i should say ALpine4-... or 254-... it was sooooo scary.

Still scares the pants off me today.

Answer 4

Hey, I always worked and my son knew the colors and how to spell his name by the time he started kindergarten. I don't think there is any excuse for parents to not parent. I hate when a teacher gets blamed for a child's bad behavior when it is the parents responsibility to teach their child that. I hate when a parent says to a teacher....well, little Johnny tried very hard so you should have given him an A instead of a C even though he go a lot of the answers wrong.

This parent is looking for a cop out to not parent and lay the blame somewhere other then where it belongs.

Answer 5

I agree with you. The child should meet the minimum requierments of kindergarten. Parent's need to take time out to teach their kids things like the colors and their name. Children can get lost or get in trouble at any age, and its imoportant that they know enough about themselves and the world around them, so they can go to a teacher, or an adult and ask for help. I don't think you'll be able to change the way you friend teaches her child, but you should focus on your daughter, and seeing to it that she grows into a smart young woman, and you seem to be doing a great job of that.

Answer 6

Sounds like this mom is just in total denial about her daughter and just doesn't want to spend anytime teaching her any of the basics. She'd rather play the blame game instead of investing time into her daughter's educational development. How sad.

If you want to keep her as a best friend, maybe you'd better butt out. But, I think it would just almost be impossible to be a friend to someone who always wants to point the finger at everyone else for things that she, the mother, should be taking respnsibility for.

Answer 7

I agree with you..Working or not she should be spending time with her kids too. There is no reason she couldn't sit down with her kid and teach her somethings..That is a parents responsibility..If she is going to shove the blame at everyone else and not look at what she did wrong you are better to just butt out because it will only get worse as her child gets older and by then she will have another excuse like ADD . Good Luck

Answer 8

I agree with your view on this. I think that parents have a MAJOR role in their kids education and should not constantly blame the teacher or the school.
But no parent likes to be critized for their parenting or that their child is not at the level of someone else's child. There are ways you can suggest to your friend to help her child learn the basic skills without comparing her child to yours.

Answer 9

Not all parents care about academics as you do. Not all parents want to share knowledge to their child, they expect the schools to do it. Maybe she has a tough time herself in spelling and her attitude towards school may be bad, due to some trauma she had in school. Allow each parent their own way, but remain on top of your goals and continue to be involved with your child.

Do your best with your child, explain this to your child as well, that not all children will have access to a good start and a great future as she...
Education is a gift and remind your daughter that it is something that can not be taken away. It is hers to take!

Answer 10

Not at all. Her child has a right to a good education but the parents have to be involved. Its not the babysitters fault. Its the moms fault for not teaching her daughter. Everyone is so quick to blame and not take responsibilities for their own actions. She needs to spend time with her daughter and teach her this stuff.

Answer 11

I agree fully with you......parents need to take some responsibility for the raising & education of thier children.

What your friend has done will not do her daughter any favours later in life and blaming the teacher/baby sitter isn't going to change things.

You have pointed out your thoughts on the subject to your friend....but alas, I don't think it's going to make any difference...sounds to me like your friend is lazy.

Good luck with your own child!