My son is almost three years old and is not potty trained yet?

Question

He started showing an interest before he turned two and I have been constant about asking him if he needs to use the potty since then. When he says no I just say ok. Now he has no interest at all and always says no, no matter what I try and how fun I make it sound. What can I do to get him interested in it enough to get serious about this and get it done?

Answer 1

Its very common for toddlers to show a real interest before they're two because its novel to them - then after a while it isn't novel any longer, and they move on when it comes to any interest. The interest they show before two isn't about being interested in not having diapers. Its about getting to use the novel little potty for a while - just as they'd have interest in any new toy. In other words, his previous interest wasn't for the right reason.

If he's not three yet (and even once he passes the third birthday) it isn't a huge problem if he's still not using the potty (although some mothers don't like having to buy diapers for an extra six months). Over the year he'll gradually get to the point where he's more receptive to the idea of using the potty.

You could try telling him you're going somewhere for a short time, and you're going to let him try not using the diaper for just that amount of time. You can tell him to let you know if he has to go, but only go out for a length of time that you know he can make it without needing to go. If you make this an hour-trip, when you get back let him have his diaper again. Tell him that now that he's a bigger boy this is what you'll be doing to help him be more like a bigger kid.

This type of thing may actually work better if a child is at least three and old enough to really understand what a "plan" is and the reasons behind the plan to switch out of diapers.

After you'd done a couple of short runs out, try longer ones. Just act like you take it for granted that he'll like these trial times of feeling like a big boy. Once he's a little used to the temporary stints without a diaper (which doesn't take long at all) rather than immediately putting the diaper back on upon returning home ask if he'd like to leave the big-boy pants on a while longer. Tell him to let you know when he wants the diaper back on. Tell him if he would just like to use the potty and keep the big-boy pants on for as long as he likes that's fine too.

After this type of thing has gone on for a little while you can then be a little more assertive with the matter of his being allowed to call all the shots about when the diaper goes back on. You can do something like tell him, "Hey - you've been doing so well with big-boy pants I think you can now try going for the whole day without a diaper." By the time you get here, you've already overcome any control issues he probably had in the beginning with regard to wanting to just do his own thing. He's already used to this "plan" that has been going on with the new way of dealing with the bathroom/diaper issue. Its not a shock, and he has already gained confidence.

A young child is comfortable with diapers. He doesn't know any other way of life for himself. Popping this idea on him is more than he's interested in because he's happy with things as they are. He doesn't see beyond that. He may also worry about having accidents or falling into the big toilet, etc. Some children are more interested than others in toilet training, but I think most of them (particularly at two years old - the height of their new-found autonomy) are not all that receptive. Some children are more cooperative than others, but many aren't.

If you use the gradual trial-time-out approach you aren't asking anything too big or asking him to adjust to the whole idea of a "major life change" all at once. You're "giving him the opportunity to just try this" for a finite amount of time, and he knows he can return to the old way of doing things very soon after the "trial time" is done. He'll get used to being out and away from the house without needing to use a toilet, and he'll get used to the idea of maybe having to do something different if he does need to go.

Doing it this way leaves most of the control to him, and he knows you will respect his wishes when it comes to when the diaper goes back on. He's the one who's going to get too busy playing to want to stop and get a diaper on.

Let him keep the diaper during the night for a while, and somewhere along the way that won't be necessary. If he's wearing underwear during the day and falls alseep he'll figure out that he can sleep without needing a diaper.

He isn't likely to ever be "interested" in getting rid of the diapers. Its a matter of your initiating the idea of the trial runs out of the house and letting him see that you're not expecting too much of him. The leaving-the-house thing lets him differentiate between in the house and leaving the house, and it helps him to not see time as one, big, hard-to-grasp, concept. By the time a couple of weeks has passed (maybe more, maybe less) he'll be so used to this on/off plan that he, himself, pretty much gets to manage it won't require his interest to make the transition from part-time to full-time toilet use.

Answer 2

Does he have any siblings? My son who is now 8 yrs would not use the potty no matter what I did. He was close to 4 yrs and I was pretty tired of diapers from this boy. My 7 yr old niece now 11 potty trained him. It took having an older child but not adult to teach him. I cant say that it will work for everyone but it might. My mother was able to train me by using school. I wanted nothing more than to go to school. So in order for me to go to school I had to potty. Girls SEEM to be easier than boys. But everyone is different. When my friend potty trained her son she had him wear underwear during the day and when he wet himself he did not like it, so he started going to the potty. About 2 weeks after this he was almost fully potty trained. Is he in school or have any similar aged friends that are potty trained? Maybe having them around will help. My older children have friends their age and my little girl wants to be just like them so going potty was part of it. Being like the older kids.

Answer 3

Read this from a well of experienced grandmother!! 1:put him in "training underwear",no more "pull-up diapers" - tell him all about why you are doing this - be creative - try - the getting ready for school approach. Pair him up with another child that uses the washroom - (they talk the same language mom);bottom line - stick to the underwear - he won't like the feeling, it would have been best to have done this method sooner, unless you live in warm weather,then it doesn't matter. NB: Do NOT use a potty - STRAIGHT to the toilet - try and watch for his movements and encourage him. For me and lots of my friends - sitting a "boy" backwards on the seat - really comforted them, give a book - privacy - take items off the tank!!LOL - one of mine dumped a whole bottle of Avon bubble bath down the toilet once - (I learned)..Good Luck - it always works this method, I just trained my friends 4 year old in less then 1-week - she was overdue - they were getting nowhere - try it - it works!

Answer 4

As a two-year old teacher I have seen so many kids that first show an interest the not at all. I would suggest little bribes. Get a sticker chart and everytime he goes let him choose a sticker and put it on the chart. After so many ( for example we'll say 5 ) say you'll take him to the dollar store for a special prize! Boys are harder to train. Candy worked for my son!

Answer 5

I let my son go out side a couple of times in the back yard,he felt more comfortable and later started going in the potty,I made a huge deal about it and offered him stuff like a happy meal and chocolate but I didn't do it all the time just the first 2 or 3 then he started doing it just fine on his own,this is also a way for daddy to get involved if he sees daddy doing it,he may want to do it.Daddy needs to show him how to aim and stuff,don't force him though,he'll go when he's ready.

Answer 6

My son was late to potty train. He was 3years & 4 months. We went to the store together and picked out a new potty. We made a potty chart and bought stickers. It still took a couple of tries and finally he used it. When he went to the potty, we put a sticker on the chart and did a potty dance. I made a really BIG deal about it and let him call his grandparents. Then he wanted to do it again. Within two weeks he was trained. He only wore pull-ups at night for about a month. Only one night time bed wetting. Hope this will help.

Answer 7

I'm a nursery nurse and mum of 3. my twins weren't dry in the day till just over 3yrs. now nearly 5 they have just started being dry at night.
Firstly when they are ready it will be quicker and easier
secondly one of my twins always had a wet nappy in the morning.. but we tried him with no nappy one night and to our surprise he didn't wet the bed...and hasn't since. This just shows if they wear a nappy they can be lazy.
Put him in pants so he realises if he doesn't use the toilet/potty he will be wet and uncomfortable.
Then reward him when he does use a potty/toilet (whichever he is most comfortable with)

Hope this helps. I bet if you put him in pants and he starts getting wet.. he will be trained in weeks not months.

Answer 8

Throw a few cheerios in the bowl and give him "target practice". It worked for both my boys! Put a cup full by the toilet and let him throw them in once he knows how it works. He won't be able to wait until the next time!

Answer 9

Bribe him with material things.