Why dont i fancy my boyfriend anymore?

Question

He moans about work, he doesnt dress up.
Still makes me laugh and i would still go to bed with him.
The sparks gone, though.
I dont want to be making all the effort... i want to be looked after sometimes.

Answer 1

Tell him. If he dont shape up, kick him to the kerb!

You can still be friends and keep in touch and feelings may change.

Answer 2

i wouldn't rush into leaving him as some people are suggesting. You say he still makes you laugh and you would still go to bed with him, well about a year ago I didn't even feel THAT about my boyfriend. Something happened which brought the situation to a crisis and since then we have become really strong and in love again. I would never have imagined a year ago that i would feel the way i do now about him, and am so glad I didn't end it. You need to decide if you can imagine a long term future with him, and if so, have the talk, explain how you feel and make sure he knows you are serious. After that he may realise that he has been neglecting you and the relationship, and you may get a real turn around. Obviously if he still isn't making an effort after that, you need to re-assess, but don't throw everything you have together away at the first sign of boredom., because it happens in every relationship from time to time, even the best ones. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think we build relationships on the wrong thing. Feelings come and go and right now "the spark" has gone. But the same will happen in your next relationship. You will get to a point and the "spark" would have gone again.
True love is not about feelings but about working through issues and coming out the other end as two stronger people.
Speak with him about how you feel and work together at changing the things in your relationship which are not working.
Remember the saying" the grass is greener on the otherside of the fence" at the end of the day it's still grass.
I hope you work things out.

Answer 4

All I can say is dress up for him, give him your full attention, make him feel like royalty for about a week, then if he hasn't changed by then.
Tell him that you still love him, but there is just nothing there between us any more, and ask him what he thinks.
And if he starts to try harder to make things work out between you. Then give it a chance to change but if things don't change Sorry to say it but you will have to get rid of him, but do make sure that you tell him why you are getting rid of him.

And all the Good luck in the world.
I hope the spark comes back.

I am afraid that you will have to be firm and straight with him, let him talk about his work, then you talk about your work.

I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO TELL HIM HOW YOU ARE FEELING. He will either change if he wants to be with you, or if he doesn't then at least you will know that you have tried your best. Take care.

Answer 5

there is no such thing as the perfect boyfriend, don't go around in circles looking for the perfect man - you'll just end up diasppointed.
You've already said he still makes you laugh and you would still go to bed with him which means you still have feelings.
If you feel he's not making much of an effort, have a gentle talk with him tell him your feeling neglected a bit. If he loves you he'll change!

Answer 6

Talk to him about it, tell him exactly what you said above, "I dont want to be making all the effort... i want to be looked after sometimes." That should patch things up, but as for the sparks, maybe its the end of the relationship, maybe it was just a case of lust or infatuation.

Answer 7

Dating is all about knowing someone, well enough, that you want to partner and mate for life. You have been with him long enough to find that his character/nature and other aspects are starting to annoy you.

Chemistry is initially about lust - looks/smell/sound (even if its not acted upon straightaway). Those create a huge stimulation in the brain...that makes you want to get to know the person better. If the person demonstrates traits you find great....the love feeling become stronger and increases, bonding you well even through cycles of up/down emotion.

If, however, his character does not inspire you to feel good about yourself or you have doubts/irritations...the brain chemistry cuts off the emotional bonding process and leaves the lusting part missing.

This does not mean you'd never go to bed with him or he wouldnt make you laugh....as that is what got you into the relationship to begin with. It just means that your brain has recognised that THIS is not a mate for life relationship...because if it were to become one, you would feel depressed and anxious that he is not meeting your needs. Love is not about meeting someone elses needs...its about them meeting yours NATURALLY...ie without having to change a thing...and you are getting shortchanged.

So......time to make a change and keep looking. He also needs to keep looking for a girl that enjoys his charater more.

Answer 8

I know exactly what your talking about, my boyfriend sounds the same, for me personally I think the thought of being on my own is scary, I suppose its habit or routine that were used to, maybe give him an ultimatum if he dont change then you will dump him, I know it would be so much easier if you had someone else that does give you attention and treat you like a princess.

Answer 9

Just be happy you have someone who does'nt beat you or abuse you in any way and do various screwed up and psychotic things. You know what happens to people who wait for the perfect mate? They end up alone.
He makes you laugh and you still will sleep with him. Consider yourself lucky. Sparks never last for anyone no matter how good they are for eachother.

Answer 10

Scientists have demonstrated that 'romantic' love only lasts about 3 years.

After that it changes into a kind of mutal affection.

It's the lifecycle of any relationship: you're at it like rabbits to start with, then it tails off, then you get married and don't do it at all. Oh, and you'll be washing his socks and listening to him moan about his boss.

Answer 11

actual you haven't any aspect in staying mutually. If a courting shows signs and warning signs of crumbling then its probable authentic that there'll be a chop up more beneficial up the line. undergo in recommendations that there is continually something stated as a 1st love. per chance you loved him once yet human beings develop and so does he. Its complicated shifting on yet thats what makes human beings more beneficial. Take life gently and stay it to the fullest.