I have been with my bf for a year and a half..We had a very good sex life until the past 5 months..I know he is not cheating on me he is super busy and is either at work school or with me! He cares about me very much, but I have had to bring up numerous times that when we are together that I feel like we are friends more sometimes thatn bf/gf. He said he doesnt feel like that , but I do because he never tries to have sex with me as much anymore and he knows I want to, but he doesn't hardly try anymore.. I love him so much and I would do anything to be with him, but when I do bring it up he says I am making it look like it is a job that he needs to do, and I tell him that the reason I bring it up sometimes is because we do act more like friends than bf/gf and all I want is to be close with him intimattly and \what is so wrong with that..because usualyy bf's want to have sex with their gf's..this has been going on numerous times he says he is going to work on it but doesnt.
2006-09-24 04:00:46 · 31 answers · asked by nrsechica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, he's probably tired, over worked, or mentally busy. Give him a beak, after the newness of the relationship wears off, (which it sounds like yours has) intimacy doesn't happen as frequently, this is perfectly normal. It doesn't mean his feelings have changed, it just means his mind and body are preoccupied with day to day life. Don't harp on it.
2006-09-24 04:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People need to be comfortable if they want to have sex. And feeling under pressure is the last thing they need.
First, consider why your boyfriend isn't interested in sex anymore. Is he tired? Is he stressed? Even depressed? Don't pressure him for sex- make him feel comfortable, and let him do what comes naturally. There's nothing less sexy than been nagged for sex.
Second, what's going on with the intimacy between you two? I don't justy mean sex- I mean conversation, shared understanding- sharing your lives with each other. You may need to build up this before sex can resume.
Thirdly, ask why you feel as though sex is necessary. There are some couples out there who hardly ever have sex, yet are very happy with one another. You want good sex, but that's a means to an end of intimacy. Spend time together, and try 'making love' in the broader sense of forming the emotional side of your relationship. Good luck.
2006-09-24 11:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from reading your article...I feel he does love you and telling you the truth!!! With him being super busy is not helping him. I been through college myself and thought that I was busy, but he works too. This is sorta funny, but isn't at the same time, about the time you want to have sex with him and he is trying to please you too....and then it comes to his mind that he has a mid term or final coming up or a report to do....and with that stress on his mind there goes the pleasure that you were hoping for. A lot of stress in a mans sex life can effect his performance. College does cost a lot of money and I'm sure he wants to pass the first time. My suggestion would be to not try to hound him about having sex with you, cause it could make him feel less of a man can cause more stress on him then what he already has. Be very supportive of him while he's working, going through college...etc...etc. I must say that your feelings are just as valid in the sense that you want more of a bf/gf relationship...instead of feeling like friends. Ask him if there is anything that you can do to make his life less stressful and if there is try and be supportive and help him during this time I'm not saying that your not doing that now, but maybe reassure him from time to time, but remember to always communicate!!! Hopefully by doing that it will be like miricle grow on a plant and you two will have that gf/bf back again. Good Luck
2006-09-24 11:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by WV_Nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is simply exhausted. Why don't you take the pressure off him, play a little hard to get, while still being sweet....and see what happens. Sometimes men feel like it's a performance that requires too much energy when they are tired. Instead of complaining, try giving him some comfort and consideration, and it may make him want you more. Good luck.
2006-09-24 11:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to spend some time apart it make s the heart grow fonder. I am not saying cheat on him but go hang with your girl friends and let him know you do have friends its not all him. It sounds like he feels that he has to have sex with you that it isn't something spontaneous and fun any more. Lighten up and give him space if he doesn't come around to your way of thinking soon you need to ask him what it is about and if there is any one El's on his mind?It is not fair to you to have to stay in a relationship with out physical loving attention.
~Good Luck~
2006-09-24 11:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you said, your bf is always very busy.maybe he is under a lot of stress and is not in the mood for intimacy.try to find time to talk togather and try to do someting exciting.you two can have a romntic dinner or play sex roles or watch sexy movies. try to bring back the heat in your bedroom.also, having a friendly relasionship is really rare.this kind of relationship is found between soulmates. many women try to find teis rare relasionship.dont worry, men sometimes have dry spells.
2006-09-24 11:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has a reason for not wanting to have sex with you that he is not comfortable or willing to tell you about ... he is keeping the reason to himself. I wouldn't expect this to change. You will either have to put up with it , or move on. Personally, I'd say that if you had a great sex life and he suddenly stops .. something is going on with him .. if he won't talk about it .. it might be best to move on. You don't want a partner who is not willing to communicate with you .. without that , on any topic, .. no relationship can survive. That is just my opinion. Good luck to you ! :)
2006-09-24 11:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,,,, hmm,, this sounds strange to me also....
You sure he is not fooling around on you??? Its not normal for a Guy Not to want sex thats for sure,,,, I can see taking a break,, but not for long,,,, you also may think about maybe he might have caught something,, and is trying to get over it before having sex with you...??
Good luck,,,
Call me if you need some further help.....
2006-09-24 11:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't seeing someone else, he is working on it. That is most likely the work he is talking about. He needs to fess up and treat you with some respect! Demand and explanation or a trial separation! If he goes for the trial separation then you have your answer.
2006-09-24 11:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have lost interest in sex life with you. Find out if he is loving you. He may be busy with other things, as you said. Have a heart to heart talk and find out. Take corrective action.
2006-09-24 11:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋