I have this friend girl that is in her mid 30s and she has been celibate for about 6 years and she recently met this man a few months ago...he has been abstaining for about 4yrs and she is really feeling him and is really thinking about having sex with him although it goes against the promises she made spiritually not to have sex again until she is married he knows this and has no problem with waiting. should she break her promise and break him off some or just keep her promise.
2006-09-24 03:48:10 · 23 answers · asked by chocolatefancier 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have told her it would be better to wait I just wanted to know how others would react in this situation.
2006-09-24 04:16:25 · update #1
No, she should not break her promise to herself just to get a piece!!!!!! Now we really need to take a look at her character and why did she really make the promise in the first place? I don't think cheating her self respect over sex is worth it for anybody: if she sincerely made that promise to herself about sex. Please remind her of integrity and dignity when it comes to promises. I'm glad that the guy is very willing to wait because that means he is truly committed to himself and to whatever he puts his mind too. Just keep giving her the support that she needs to keep that commitment to herself. My hat goes off to her for being sex free for six years!!!!! That is awesome in my eyes and especially in God's eyes. Tell her to be encouraged and not give of the fight on a sexless life until marriage. In the end, she is truly pleasing God and not man, let alone herself. Isn't it better to please God and not the flesh?
2006-09-24 04:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by twilight1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound like a very level-headed, reasonable young man. :-) I have to say, I don't really "get" promise rings either. It doesn't alter the relationship (you two already know you want to marry each other, so you'll still be boyfriend and girlfriend) it just adds a few sparkles for her to show off. I guess that's why she'd want one. The only benefit I can see for getting a promise ring at this point is that it's a visual statement that she's in a committed relationship, even if wedding plans aren't in the making yet. At a certain age, or after a certain amount of time of dating someone, women tend to start hearing questions about when the wedding will be, and if they don't have an answer, or something to show that things actually are serious, people tend to start implying that the guy must not be as serious about her as he says he is. Realistically, you know that you ARE serious about her, more so than a lot of people who do the promise ring, since you're actually planning a LIFE (not a wedding) with her. However, if having a little trinket for her to be able to show people that yes, your relationship is still progressing, is something she wants and is something you're willing to give, I don't see that it would hurt.
2016-03-27 06:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No should try to stay stong she has been so strong all this time why not contuine, they are both in the same boat and they should sail together until they time is right! There is not rush to give it up I would wait until i was married like I promised myself years ago, I would if I was as strong as this women I respect her for sticking to her beliefs! But I love to get sexed down so I can't make any promises like that at this time!
2006-09-24 03:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by ttbird117 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should keep her promise. Why do people feel they must rush in to sex? She had a valid reason to her self to make this promise. I feel she would regret it after wards. But it is her decision. No one but her can make it for her.
Be true to yourself is all ways the best thing. Don't let any one make you do something that you feel is wrong. Hope she does some soul searching before she makes decision
Just support her no matter what.
2006-09-24 03:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if they really care about each other, then they should have sex. I think its silly when people get married before sex. Sometimes you may not be compatible in that aspect and one or the other ends up looking for someone that is compatible. When You get married you are agreeing to spend the rest of your lives together. You need to know every aspect about that person.
2006-09-24 05:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by marygold2012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on how she will feel about the whole thing if she does have sex. If she will feel guilty and disappointed with herself then she should keep her promise. If she is in a different place now and she can handle it then go for it. Were they sex addicts or something?
2006-09-24 03:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
listen the only answer is that if the female only wants to satisfy her carnal desires, there is no point in breaking the promise, but if she loves the man and the man loves her, there is nothing bad in it, and which spiritualism says loving someone is wrong, marriage as a institution is a tool of the society to discipline us, and if your friend is mature enough than i see no harm in entering into a relation
2006-09-24 04:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by honestanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is real and great! Keep the promise to your spiritual self.Sex is really overrated. Communication on a higher level is longer lasting, more intimate and the real deal. "Keep the Promise" and you will keep the trust.
2006-09-24 03:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by FAND 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Defniatly keep her promise. whats the rush for sex. If he's willing to wait he's totally worth it anyway
2006-09-24 03:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by sophisticated 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if she truly gave herself spiritually and has been celibate, well I would remain that way! If he is willing to wait, and has been celibate himself, then that's what it is! There are other ways you can please somebody, and it isn't always physically or just making love........that's just my opinion! I wish them luck! You are a good friend to care about her, but you also need to let go and LET GOD!
2006-09-24 03:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋