Is it just me or do you find it rude when....?

Question

I find it very rude when my family will call me into a room or holler across my house just to ask me a question. For example: Yesterday my husband was checking our bank website and needed my account name and password. He decided instead of grabbing a piece of paper and a pen to come ask me the question to shout across the house several times to repeat my password and account number. I know this sounds ridiculous but we are in odds to which is right and wrong. What do you think? Is it rude to shout a question at someone when you are the one who needs the answer?

It's not like we are fighting each other over it. It's a funny little arguement that we've had since we got married. I just thought I'd see what others thought!

With our bank there are two different account numbers regardless if it is joint account or a separate for online banking. He can never remember his user name or password so he just goes into mine. So...we have joint banking--it's just the online stuff that's weird!

Answer 1

It certainly isn't just you & the rudeness is so common that it stinks! You site 'holler across my house' & I'm thinking of the isle of the supermarket or other public places. Fortunately, it's not me & my bride but other people just completely oblivious to the fact that a few extra steps towards the conversation could go a long way toward a modicum of respect for others & self. The rudeness to each other is no prize but when strangers in public must cringe as a result of thoughtlessness, it's a very sad bore. On the rare occasion at a party, someone may 'holler accross a room' & my response is to ignor it until I have a chance to approach and point out, in a whisper, "If you need to speak to me, bring your lazyass to where I am or keep your fat trap shut."

Answer 2

In a way it is rude, but it depends do you live in an apartment? Or out in the country, where shouting won't effect the neighbors.But yes I know the feeling,it seems like it would be less work for them to come and politely ask the question, but maybe they feel good about hollering.But if its rude? That all depends on the motive I think,cuz sometimes its just laziness.

Answer 3

Rude is a relative word/term -- it can only be settled between two or more understanding parties. If one does not listen...that is too bad. Your story falls into the border-line depending on the past, present relationships with your "loved!" ones and family entourage. Try to talk it out...and not shout about it --let the other party read this advice too. Good luck, it looks you need it both.

Answer 4

i guess it depends on the question your *shouting* the account and password (a lenghty question) yes i would get annoyed and tell them to get off there big butt and come to me but a yes or no question not so bad cause its short and to the point ;) tell your hubby thats what those things called legs with the feet on them are for *Walking* LOL. not something to make a big deal out of though just tell him next time you would appreciate the *Kind* effort to come to you and ask you instead of yelling. i guess men don't understand that we think any kind gesture from them is more romantic than any gift/thing they could do....its the small things that count

Answer 5

Of course it is rude!!! Next time someone shouts a question at you, keep yelling back "What ? What ? I can't hear you! What ?" until he gets up and comes to ask like a person with manners! He'll hopefully get the hint eventually. Little annoyances like that can add up over time.

Answer 6

i wouldn't call it rude but i wouldnt advise shouting out passwords to such as bank accounts. you never know who's walking past the house and could hear you through an open window for instance. although i think if i needed an answer to something i would go to the person i was asking but i wouldnt be offended id someone shouted to me.

Answer 7

You are teaching him how to treat you. Delay your response to the point that if he truly needs it, he will get up and come to you for it.

You MAY be seeing some of the dynamics between his parents, where his mother jumped every time his father said anything. You need to teach him not to be assuming. As time goes on, and you have kids, etc., it WILL become a bigger issue.

Most men have a "snap their fingers, make it happen" default. It if works, they keep it up. If it doesn't, they will adjust to what does.

You are a team, don't give him mixed signals that on some level, you do see him at the lord and master, and that your time and what you are doing is not as important as what he needs at any nanosecond.

Answer 8

I think it is very rude to shout at anyone. It demonstrates a lack of respect and he should apologize to you now. However, from what you have written, why does he not have the information available? That you have separate checking accounts without mutual access, tells me there are greater problems than the rudness of shouting. Am I right?

Answer 9

If there you have guests then maybe it's probably not the best thing to do but tell your family to not shout across the room because it can get annoying and tell them to just come and walk over to you and ask you.

Answer 10

That just sounds petty to me, no matter how you slice it. Somethings are just matter-fo-fact in longterm relationships. There's alot of compromising to do about really serious matters, and this just doesn't merit deep thought. You really need to not dwell on this because there may be more important problems lurking around the corner. Don't sweat the small stuff.