My boyfriend has 3 boys. Twins age 9 and the oldest one is 13. All But one has ADD/ADHD. We get them every other weekend. One of the twins is not potty trained. He is will use the bathroom on him self 10 times a day. His mother will not take him to a dr and we live 2 states away. What are we to do? Would you try to get the kids?
2006-09-24 03:04:44 · 9 answers · asked by jaa9636 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Personally, I wouldn't. It is too much trouble to take care of your boyfriend's kids. Plus they have ADD/ADHD. It will drive you insane to do a another person's job. I know it would be good to have a child of your own. But i suggest you ponder on this question carefully before doing something like this.
2006-09-24 03:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is, are you AND your boyfriend willing to go the extra hard miles to take care of these boys needs. You both will need each others support. I can not express this enough.
There is a lot to consider in a situation like this. First off, the one that is not potty trained definitely needs to be checked by a doctor. This could be several things, medical and/or mental.
Are you financially secure to handle the extra bills?
Find out what you can about ADD and ADHD if you haven't already. The one with ADHD needs to be taught how to use his extra energy in a positive way ect..
The way the boys were brought up might pose a problem. As an example, my friend and her boyfriend have part time custody of his 12 year old daughter. She tells my friend off all the time, always tries to get her dad mad at her and her dad believes her and lets her keep doing this. My friend is almost to her wits end. His boys might not be like this, but anything could happen and you need to be ready and prepared to handle it, for the boys sake as well as your own and your boyfriends.
If you feel you and your boyfriend are ready to take on these responsibilities. Then go for it, they need someone who will see to their needs.
Good luck and best wishes!
2006-09-24 03:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by jojorose67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. this has several problems but let's deal with the worst. Do not jump the gun and cause more problems without thought. If there is a problem with her not taking him then why don't you 2 take him. Why do you have to ask her? Taking all the children in not a solution. Talking with a child care worker might help you make the right decision. Are there problems at home that you are not aware of. Children with add/adhd are extremly hard to be around and as parents i say way to go but remember that she is the other parent and if she s alone with them it is that much harder for her. Maybe you all as a group can sit donw and talk about these issues and see if together you can solve them.
2006-09-24 03:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like these kids need some attention. Neglect can make children appear that they are ADD/ADHD even though they might not be. If the mother is not seeing that these kids are getting the best they need then it is definitely up to the father to do so. These kids need someone to go to bat for them. Do what is in your heart on this and DO be sure to get these kids some medical help.
2006-09-24 03:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that needs to be addressed. You may want to discuss this with a lawyer and find out what your options are. If there is something wrong with the twin then not taking him to the Dr. could be construed as medical and or emotional neglect depending on what the problem is, or if there even is one.
2006-09-24 03:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by glitterprincess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are interested in raising three children with issues, understanding that it won't be easy (but the rewards are innumberable), then yes, I would recommend that you try to get full custody of the children.
Custody aside, the youngest child really needs to be seen by a physician (first to rule out physical issues) and then next by a therapist.
2006-09-24 03:07:09 · answer #6 · answered by Kristina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would stay out of it. Let Daddy take care of that issue, if nothing is resolved than dad needs to turn her in to CPS.. Child Protective Services. Saying the child isn't doing well and mom won't take him to the doctor like she should.
2006-09-24 03:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by Hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 10,000.00 we have spent trying to get my husbands 2 daughter and it has been 2 yrs now and thing have always changed for us. The court system is really hard to get kids away from their mother, but if you decided to good luck. we even had to pay for her lawyer and we bring home about 40,000 a year and she brings home 90+ a year and has to brand new vehicles and we only wish we could....nothing is ever fair!
2006-09-24 03:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by bobsdidi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 and not potty trained? Maybe he is autistic and does not understand using the toilet or it could be physical. He definitely needs someone to step up and help him.
2006-09-24 03:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by redwidow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋