I love jokes.?

Question

would someone tell me a jokes, I love to laught, they say it good for the heart.

Answer 1

Yes, I will tell you.

By the way tell you jokes, and it goes:

>How I was born<

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, will you tell me
how I was born?"
-The father debates answering, but finally says: "Well, I guess one day you will need to know anyway."
"Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cybercafe.
-We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. "But when I was ready to upload and she was ready to download, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and it was too late to hit the delete or escape button.
-"So nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared that read, 'You've Got Male!"

One more joke:

A guy calls his vet and says "What should I do with my cat?Vet says "What do you mean? Guy says "I had a leak in my lawnmowers gas tank and the cat drank the gas. Then the cat began to run around and around the yard, climbed a tree. then fell out of the tree stiff. Vet says "Is the cat dead? Guy replies "nope he ran out of gas.

Answer 2

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an
American engineer -- are working together one day. They come
across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of
you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my
son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in
Canada." Pooooof!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was
forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall
around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or
Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries..

The American Engineer ask's, "I am very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's
about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the
country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."


The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Answer 3

Little Buckwheat
A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice
red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying T.O.T. Knowing
that
she had some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she cautiously
asked
"Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?" Mary in the front row
raised
her hand to explain it means "To Our Teacher."
The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple
than
the day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on
it. She asks for an explanation for this note and little Johnny
waves
his hand to explain "That means "To Our Teacher With Love".
The next morning she arrives to find a great big watermelon
sitting on
her desk with a tag saying "F.U.C.K." Her jaw drops and she screams
"Who can explain this?"
Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that
means
"From Us Colored Kids"

Answer 4

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Answer 5

What's the difference between a JEEP and a Giraffe?
One has Hydraulics and the Other Has High-Boll***s!

Answer 6

Dan sits in a bar with his friends.

All of a sudden, a man, punch drunk, walks up to Dan and points at him, slurring:

"I **** your Mom last night."

Dan shrugs and continues to sip his drink.

A few minutes later, the same man walks up to him and yells:

"Your Mom's the best lay in town!"

Again Dan shrugs and continues to drink his beer and talk to his friends.

Finally, the man wobbles over another time, bellowing at the top his lungs and throwing a pair of nylons at Dan:

"Your Mom left these in my bed last night."

Finally, Dan throws back the nylons at the man and snaps:

"Go home, Dad. You're stinkin' drunk again."

Answer 7

Three teenage triplet girls were getting ready for their first date after waiting until their 16th birthday. Knock, Knock on the door, ....Father answers, "Hello, my name is JOE, I'm here to pick up FLO, I'm taking her to the SHOW, is she ready to GO. No says father, wait she will be down in a sec. Knock, Knock, "Hi my name is LANCE, I'm here for NANCE, were going to the DANCE, is she ready by any CHANCE. No says father, wait with Joe, she will be down in a minute. Knock, Knock at the door. "High, my name is CHUCK...." the father punched him in the nose.

Answer 8

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

Answer 9

A brother comes out of his sisters bedroom saying"u r better than mum at bed" for which the sister tell"thanks bro but dad already told me so"

Answer 10

there were two muffins in the oven. one said, "dang, it's hot in here." the other one said, "!!! a talking a muffin!"