My boyfriend asked me to marry him but what he offers me is just a civil wedding. I love him but i did not accepted the proposal. I prefer church wedding and also im not sure if i'm ready for that. He prefer civil because it is more practical most specially for those who doesnt have big budget for such occassion.
2006-09-24 02:36:00 · 14 answers · asked by cutiegreyt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that since you turned down the proposal tells you that you are possibily not ready for marriage or even the committment of an engagement. If a certain type of wedding is important to you plan save and do it only when your ready! As a couple you both need to decide what is best for both of you ultimately you both need to live with the choices you have made. I personally have been with my bf for 7.5 years and we just got engaged 2 weeks ago, it was something that we both discussed we purchased a home and feel we are ready to take this step, also we both mutually have decided on elements of the wedding and we decided on a large traditional church wedding with a catered reception. Whatever and whenever you choose make sure its what you both want and its what makes you both happy. Best of luck to you both and all the best
2006-09-24 16:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My preference would be a civil ceremony- less hassle and stress. My bf wants a church wedding, and our families also expect a church wedding. A church wedding we will have when the time comes. Could you talk him into a very very small church wedding. Perhaps immediate family only kind sized wedding. It wouldn't be as large or expensive that way and you'd get your church wedding. The bigger issue should probably be that you aren't sure you're ready. Marriage is something you should enter into being completely sure you're making the right decision. If that's not where you are, then you probably shouldn't get married now.
2006-09-24 08:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, you (or him) probably isn't ready.
The best way I could tell that I was ready was when I killed bug without help, could change a tire AND oil in my car, and keep my apartment clean. In other words, I was independent.
Your boyfriend needs to listen to your more. Better yet, you both need to sit down and discuss this together. Be adults, don't raise your voice, and don't call him names. Ask him why he would want to get married so quickly and forget about your dream wedding. You don't have to have a big budget for a wedding. A wedding is about celebrating with friends and family, not spending a lot of money.
We're getting married in 13 days (eek) and we chose a secular site--it's an old 1920s theatre. It's gorgeous! It was US. While the church would be nice, the reality of the situation was that we didn't have the budget for both. We chose the theatre because although it might not be a church, God is going to be with us regardless!
2006-09-24 03:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many concerns to be addressed when one is considering a marriage. Several studies document that money, sex and child rearing are the top three issues of contention in marriages. One could suggest a lower-cost church wedding. May I suggest that some premarital counseling would be of some use? There are many sources of support such a ministers, professional councilors and professors at local colleges. As one who has suffered a divorce, I think an ounce of prevention is worth 15,000 dollars of cure. Good luck to you.
2006-09-24 02:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by david42 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, if you are not sure, then dont! My hubby and I were married last friday in a quick and easy ceremony. We have been together for nearly 7 yrs and decided neither of us were going anywhere so we should marry to make things less complicated. It is the second marriage for both of us. The cost of this wedding was cheap cheap cheap...$50 for license $50 for ceremony! My flowers were a lot more than that for my first wedding.
2006-09-24 02:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even you've only got a small budget , you could still have a church wedding just have a simple reception. what matters is what you want and how you'ld like to remember your wedding day.
about being ready, to be honest with you, there are many factors to consider such as are you willing to give up a bit of yourself to this other person, or are you willing to sacrifice some things that you do when you were still single? yah know, stuff like that.
by experience, i thought i was ready, had a good steady job, love my would be wife, willing to sacrifice a lot for her, so everything was ready. but when we got married, i wouldn't say things have changed but i would rather say that things are different from how it would be. there are times when i want to hangout with my friends but she wanted me to stay in or go out with her instead, or play sports with my friends but she had other plans for us...you things like this. at the end of the day, we have to compromise to work things out.
so, it's all up to you. you'ld know when you're ready or not...married life isn't always bout honeymoon darling.
2006-09-24 02:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by lord_love_rocket 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love the guy and want to marry him, it won't matter much where it happens. Being together will be all that counts. I had to have a church wedding, because that is what I wanted, and was fortunate to marry a man of the same religion.
2006-09-24 06:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding is the smallest part of the whole marriage. I have heard that people spend all their time planning the wedding and no time planning the marriage. I would completely agree with that. You should be thinking about what he has to offer as a husband and possible father, not wedding.
2006-09-24 02:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he sounds like he has the right idea, not spending alot of money that you dont have. Also, if you turned him down coz he isnt offering you a big wedding, then you probably arnt ready to marry! its not about the wedding itself but the person you are marrying. If you want to be with them forever, it shouldnt matter if you married in a shed, or whatever. hope that helps!
2006-09-24 02:45:57 · answer #9 · answered by floaty_flowers 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't agree about a simple thing like a wedding then you are defiantly not mature enough for marriage, where real problems arise every day and must be dealt with by both of you
2006-09-24 02:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋