I'm in my early 30s and just found out my dad's brother is actually my father.Shld i let him knw i knw?

Question

My mum passed away last year without telling me the truth. I am currently financially supporting this uncle of mine cos my mum told me to before she left me. I have older brothers and they prob don't know I'm only their half sis. Somehow I really don't wish to call him "dad" since I've been calling him "uncle" all these years. Deep down it hurts me to think that I'm only my bro's half sis. Should I tell my uncle that I know he's my dad or should I just act as per normal?

Answer 1

I can understand how delicate the situation is through which you are passing now and you certainly need a good friend with whom you can share your feeling.. It is also true that your mind must be filled with a cyclone of thouths what to do and what not..

I also know that it is always easy to render advise sitting outside the real situation and it is really very difficult to pass through the situation..

But to maintain peace and harmony we have to keep many things with us.. Starting from an individual to a country does it keeping in mind many things... We know that a government do not declare many nasty things because declaration of whish poses some dangers..

There are many things which we should keep them in the status of secret only... Sex and Political events are placed at the top of of this catagory.

At this juncture it is advisable for you not to let you uncle know that you know that he is your father... You should also not try to dig the past of your mother further because you can NEVER know under which circumstances your mom had realtions with your uncle... Take them as a man and a woman thats all... We dont know about our own life.. who know what drama we are going to see in our own life in future which might be silimilar to this or even worse...

It is also possible that we may have our own secrets which we wish to keep as SECRETE forever... so dont dig it..

If you let you uncle know that you have known he will not be able to look at you with dignity.. he will feel guilty.. he will also fear if you tell it to his sons... and no one will want to live a life loosing his self-respects from their own children...

So as a friend i would advise you and request you not to take away the dignity of your uncle (father) and let him live respectfully..

Answer 2

To start healing, you need to tell it.. Don't live a lie.. Don't walk in your mother's life lie. That has to hurt deep, and it's ok not to want to call him father, dad, the point is.. Stop the circle of lies. You have your own life, you have a choice continue the lie down the family tree, or cut it off now because if you have or have now children they need to know their real family blood line.

Keep prayer involved in your direction, steps, and life. He might even deny it but as long as you made peace within you, you can close the chapter in your life diary.

Answer 3

This is a tough one. One major question is: does HE know he is not your uncle but your father... It might be so that your mom never told him too. What will do it to him when he hears this from you....? If you are sure he knows it should not be a major problem, but be sure to do it under private circumstances, so that you both can talk honestly about the possible consequences and about how to go on. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yes let him know. Don't forget that he also has had to live his whole life with this secret. He had to watch someone else raise his little girl and hear her call someone else daddy. You don't have to call him Dad, but I bet it will be a very big relief on both of you, and then you can move on from there. Good Luck To You.

Answer 5

Why should you be drawn into a web of lies. If someone ask then tell them but don't start keeping secrets now. That's how family's get dysfunctional. Besides the adults more than likely know it anyway. Only you can decide to tell or not if it makes you uncomfortable keeping secrets then don't keep it.

Answer 6

There must be a reason for what is happening. Get opinions from a professional before you speak to your "uncle".

Answer 7

Personally, I'd write to the producers of Jerry Springer first, and then you can do it on the Jerry Springer show, otherwise, I think at your age you should let sleeping dogs lie! Most likely he already knows, and if he wants you to know, he'll let ya. Your dad is the man that raised you, remember that.

Answer 8

wow hes even worse than my brother!(and have confidence me my brother whos approximately 11 has had his share of hardship, who is conscious perchance its the two twelve months distinction) properly besides it relies upon on how lots your dad trusts you and whether you will get in hardship for masking him up and in the journey that your brother is masking you up. theres no actual thank you to be responsive to according to this on my own in spite of the indisputable fact that i will see why you purely provided lots of info(you wont get adequate solutions as that's). purely upload extra info in terms of whether you will get in hardship additionally if he properly-knownshows out, or how lots your dad trusts you and in the journey that your brother is masking you up. edit: nevermind. technically the politcally mind-blowing ingredient to do would be to tell yet on the comparable time no one desires to be a snitch. in case you want to tell, additionally say "dont permit him be responsive to I advised you this" so as that your brother wont think of you snitched.

Answer 9

based on what you wrote
i think deep down you want to tell, but your afraid of change or the reaction of this news might bring.

what it comes down to is - will you be happier if you just acted like nothing happened, or would you be happier if you told them who you are?

just follow your heart

Answer 10

I think you should let him know that you are aware of the truth. And you should seek an explanation from him why he never acknowledged you as his daughter all these years.