It’s a real story, which hurt me a lot. I have had an internet friend (girl), and she becomes my loving younger sister. Since last 7 years we are sharing our happiness, family problems and everything. Even her parents and brothers know about our good relation. And 4 years back I got married, and my wife also knows, I’m treating this girl like my sister. I had visited her house, several times with my family. Now I have two kids also (3 years old twin girls).
The problem started on last February. She got married with a civil engineer, last February. After her marriage I tried to contact her through phone. But with out any reply she cut the phone. Very next day I got an E mail from her husband. That is attached bellow.
”I had been reading all your mails to my wife, also from the beginning and was not at all comfortable with all those. I don't want to do a post-mortem on that. To be frank, I had no reason to appreciate her in continuing such online relations whatever it is. I can guess what the comments are likely to arise in your mind. I am sorry for not giving care of it.Enough .bye Good Luck “
Tell me what my mistake in this issue was?
2006-09-24 00:57:37 · 16 answers · asked by Gopalakrishnan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
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2006-09-24 01:25:07 · update #1
i can feel how much depressed u would be... i would give u some words of wisdom...lisen buddy evry relation is proved to be a pure when u compromise and sacrifice... its not your mistake at all..perhaps her husband dislikes this relation....because he must b a bit possessive...narrow minded...but u are a very sincer person so show yr sincerity here...if u want her to b happy just let her go..and yr heart says whenever she need help as a brother yr hand will always be ready to welcome her...just give her some time to settle as a wife...after everything is ok she might try to contact u... and then u will realize whose mistake was it!!! dont get upset....every relation has ups and downs...this time it is down next time it will again go up..dont worry at all!! cheers
2006-09-24 01:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you have pure feelings for her? If yes, then try to think only that can make her married life happy..
There was no need to make a phone call after she got married.. her hubby clearly does not like it... it seems that he has not felt comfortable after going through your mails.. why he felt like that depends what kind of stuff he has found...
You had better to end your relationship with her in your own and hers benefit..
2006-09-24 09:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by CosmicLight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that you over stepping your boundaries. I myself have a lot of guy friends that I call my brothers. We all had a talk with each other when I got engaged about us hanging with each other and stuff. I know how my hubby is and after a while he will get a little jealous since he likes a lot of attention. So What I am saying that you went a little over board with it. As for what you can do to fix it... I can't help you there because it seems that he is the jealous type like my hubby and he seems to be sticking with what he said. It might blow over but you have to wait and see.
2006-09-24 09:01:10 · answer #3 · answered by catmenacestop 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not at fault in this matter. Your intentions have been above board and entirely honourable from the start.
Your friend's new partner is the one who does not feel comfortable with the relationship.
If your friendship means anything to this girl she will get in touch with you. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do until then. You need to respect their wishes.
I do find it strange however that the girl in question did not have the courage to write to you with an explanation. I wonder if she knows what her husband wrote?
2006-09-24 08:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by xoymaq 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your mistake is to try to contact her again. The relationship is over. Her husband does not want you contacting his wife. He is now her confidant. Use all that energy in taking care of your wife and children. You just lost a friend. Move on.
2006-09-24 08:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by Trollhair 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear. This is sad, but inevitable. Your friend's husband is insecure and sees you as a threat. It is one thing for you, as a man, to tell your wife that this friendship is not sexual. Your wife has to accept it. But he is the man in their household, and what he says goes, because you know how fragile masculinity can be...men have to have the final say.
It is sad, but I think any partner would be insecure about an opposite-sex internet relationship.
Sorry, you must be very sad.
2006-09-24 08:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by medium_of_dance 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The husband doesn't like the idea of his wife having a relationship with another guy. Your "little sister" obviously told her new husband about you. He doesn't like it. Soooo, forget her. NEVER contact her again. End of story.
2006-09-24 08:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Her husband feel insecure. If you sincere to her family. why dont you try to make a chance to meet them both same time in the right time , right place. some thing like , social event. You can show your loving family. he will feel good to know , you just a good brother.
2006-09-24 08:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by boathouse 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think that the issue is that the husband is not an understanding man. Do not blame yourself, if the relationship is only one of a brotherly and sisterly nature, then there is nothing you can do if the husband does not understand.
Perhaps he is jealous of the relationship that you have with your friend.
2006-09-24 08:02:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Basically her husband is uncomfortable with your friendship, he does not trust her, he is jealous, most men don't like the thought of their wife's having male friends.
2006-09-24 08:00:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋