It’s a real story, which hurt me a lot. I have had an internet friend (girl), and she becomes my loving younger sister. Since last 7 years we are sharing our happiness, family problems and everything. Even her parents and brothers know about our good relation. And 4 years back I got married, and my wife also knows, I’m treating this girl like my sister. I had visited her house, several times with my family. Now I have two kids also (3 years old twin girls).
The problem started on last February. She got married with a civil engineer, last February. After her marriage I tried to contact her through phone. But with out any reply she cut the phone. Very next day I got an E mail from her husband. That is attached bellow.
Mr
I had been reading all your mails to Reshmi also from the beginning and was not at all comfortable with all those. I don't want to do a post-mortem on that. To be frank, I had no reason to appreciate her in continuing such online relations whatever it is. I can guess what the comments are likely to arise in your mind. I am sorry for not giving care of it.
Enough ... bye ...
Good Luck
Tell me what my mistake in this issue was?
2006-09-24 00:53:49 · 9 answers · asked by Gopalakrishnan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her husband obviously saw potential dangers in this friendship between you and her and he seems to be afraid that his wife has some feelings for you. He became jealous and is afraid of loosing her to another man. You appear to originate from the India/Pakistani area (am I right?) and these cultures are more traditional than maybe countries like USA, germany, UK, etc. I believe if my husband would have a close friendship with another woman I would not like that if I don't know the woman well. If it would be a friendship between couples.. then fine.. but if it would be only between a part of each couple I may get suspicious. And I am from a culture that is generally not very strict. So maybe it would have been a good idea to step back from very personal e-mails and change it into a friendship between 2 couples (where mainly the husbands are closely befriended and the wifes with each other.) Then there may be more trust and you could still be friends with her. What do you think?
2006-09-24 01:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by summer_81_de 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you made a mistake at all. He is an insecure person. He obviously doesn't appreciate what kind of relationship that you had with her. It wasn't one that threatens his position as a husband. Jealousy makes some people very irrational.
But if you try to force that relationship to continue, you will be making a mistake. If she comes back on her own, great. But don't make the first move.
2006-09-24 08:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by davi1033 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U didn't make a mistake.
As far as I can tell from her husbands blunt & unhelpful email, he's just laying down the law.
He doesn't want U 2 have anything 2 do with his wife.
He's being possessive & U've lost UR friend, sorry.
Shrug UR shoulders, deep sigh & let it go.
Fingers X'd that she may 1 day get back in touch with U, but don't hold UR breath, huh?
Time 2 Find a new friend.
2006-09-24 08:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made no mistake and I'm sure your friend feels really bad about this to, but you must remember she now has a new husband and she needs to keep the peace, if her relationship with you makes him unhappy then her marriage will have difficulties, I'm sure you wouldn't want this for her, for now I think that her relationship with her husband must come first. I know this isnt easy for you but remember that she probably feels really bad as well...besides you dont know what goes on behind closed doors, he might be making this difficult for her at home. Hopefully one day she will be able to contact you again.
2006-09-24 08:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are You a true friend ( virtual or real ) ? Do you want her to be happy ? In past you may have written something that the civil eng. did not like.Now that she is married rightly or wrongly she will have to change her relations with friends and if she has disconnected the phone (on her Hus. instructions ) it is clear she does not want your relationship with her to continue.So keeping mind her happiness stop contacting her.Unfortunately our society is too orthodox when it comes to friends of wife.
2006-09-24 08:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by shribharatpshubh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you made a mistake - I think her husband is jealous and your friend doesn't have the power to continue your friendship.
2006-09-24 08:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made no mistake. Her husband just can't believe people of the opposite sex can be friends.
2006-09-24 08:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by doglover 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mistake was assuming that you could stay friend with her now that she has a husband which do not appreciate your friendship with her.
2006-09-24 08:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by ladybug 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the guy is jealous so just drop it !!!!
2006-09-24 07:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by suray f 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋