How can you know if a guy wants to date you for a future commitment or just sex?
2006-09-24 00:47:15 · 32 answers · asked by Jen B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been with him for six months. It's just every time he sees me he wants to make out, or be with me alone, and than he tells me how much he likes me. What he says, though, seems kind of scripted and thought out, like his friend told him to say it. My boyfriend isn't known as a sleaze, but his friend has been with the same girl for a few years without a commitment, just living together, and my boyfriend might be getting tips from him.
2006-09-24 00:54:40 · update #1
6 months is a good sign, most guys who are purely after sex aren't all that patient about it. However, if you really want to know, i suggest bringing the subject up. You probably don't want to ask him "Are you just looking for sex?", but you might want to say something along the lines of "I want to be up front with you; I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having sex at this point in my life (or at this point in the relationship, or whatever applies )." Then see what he says. What may be even more important is how he says it; if he says e doesn't want to push you into it, but he seems bothered, then he was probably at least hoping for sex. But maybe even more important is how he behaves after this conversation... if you find that your relationship begins to deteriorate or that he is less enthusiastic about the relationship, then he probably was looking for sex but didn't want to admit it.
2006-09-24 01:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by Motoko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok Jen here goes I hope this helps! First of all six months is enough time for this guy to know if he loves you or not, not just likes you but loves you! So if he hasn't said that yet them you can just assume he just wants one thing until he finds someone better! I am just being honest!
Second if he does love you then he would want to show you off to all him friends instead of just the two of you alone!
Third if he following his friends advice then he is no good!!! He should be able to say what he wants to say without having to follow someone elses advice.
Fourth your friend seems like she is ok with no commitment, but you sound like most of us who do need that commitment. I would if I was you ask him straight up do you love me and why? If he pauses for more than 3 seconds then he just wants to have sex with you until he finds someone else. But If he can tell you that he does love you and that he has just been scared and didn't know how to tell you then you know he is geniune! Maybe he thinks since your girlfriend likes it without a commitment then so do you? Just ask him the next time and say lets go out with some of our friends! You will get the answers you are looking for. In the world today us women have to be blunt in what we want, and you have to let then know how you feel. That is the only way you will know his motives!!!
I wish You All The Luck!
Always Amy
2006-09-24 01:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by heart2heart27958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to know or that you can tell is if he keeps hanging around even if you don't put out. As a growing young buck, I stated having sex with girls around 15. I could say that I was quite successful, even with women older than me. I could tell you more but it's not to the point.
When I met my wife, she was an immigrant with 'old country values' and it pretty much took me 6 months to hold her hand, and a little longer to really kiss. I remember thinking 'what the hell am I doing here wasting my time?' However, there was something about her that was different than other girls/women I had dated. She had more respect for herself, and consequently, I for her also.
Don't get me wrong, I also have utmost respect for women who are liberated and have no qualms bedding who they want, when they want for their own personal satisfaction ... and don't think less of them either. However, in answer to your question, you can you know? If you don't give him the one, and he keeps coming back, then you know it's YOU!
If you've already given him the sex, then it's harder - though not impossible - to close the door to sex. Still, if so, you could say something like you shouldn't have and would prefer to keep it on a friendly relationship to see where it goes.
After 27 years, despite some difficult times, I know I'm lucky to have waited to have sex.
2006-09-24 00:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by Zorro Z 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on your relationship to that guy. Yes! there are some men out there only thinking is about sex. No one knows, only you will know if you are ready or not. If you're not ready, tell him frankly that you are not ready. You have the decision on how things will be going.
Ask yourself, does your relationship to that guy is strong, How old that guy again, or are you in the right age to do it. Is he financially stable, Do he wanted to marry you or Is he really love you a lot. That one time he cried because he wanted YOU always in your side, just to talk all his problems and saying "thank you, for being with me always.".
... Love and sex are different.... But sex is not a sin...God give this, for all mankind... Because YOU are the one who will find the right man to be with you in the future.
2006-09-24 01:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by realme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all wanna be alone and make out with new lovers, its natural. However what does he do in the meantime? does he txt u just to see how ur days going? does he care about u after the sex, like cuddling etc, does he take you for some dinner afterwards? has he introduced you to friends when your out and about with him?
All these little things show he cares, if he is treating u like a booty call you know deep down thats whats happening.
The way he is treating you now is as good as its gonna get, is this what u want?
2006-09-24 01:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by livachic2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have that many concerns, why is he even your man? You doubt his sincerity and level of commitment. A relationship lacking trust in no relationship at all. And it sounds like you simply are not ready for sex, period. In which case you need a man that respects that and gives you room, space and time.
2006-09-24 01:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by Toxic Buddah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time.
If he will spend lots of quality time, treat you with respect, buy you tons of stuff, then yes, he is a keeper and you can sleep with him. But wait. Most guys just go after the thrill of the quest. Once they reach THEIR goal they move on. So make him wait for a long, long time.
The best test is when he asks you to marry you and puts that ring on your finger. When he does that.....go for it.
2006-09-24 00:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by Trollhair 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll know if a guy is interested in you if he has more on his mind than just having sex with you. He'll be interested in you as a person and will want to know all about you. In other words, he'll be willing to put the time in to get to know you.
2006-09-24 00:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have self-respect, high self esteem, personal boundaries and have high standards on the guys that you choose to spend your time with. All you have to do is read what you girls write on here and see how they are sop willing to act like a cheap ho. Basically, if he is willing to enjoy you as who you are and is willing to spend the t ime investing in the realtionship and you don't sleep with him then, yeah, he probably wants a real relationship with you.
2006-09-24 00:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard to tell guys differ between each other they are open and clear but with women they try to fake something you need to know them better and be experienced because it is not a word or a move they make it is more complex to figure because some are honest and shy and some are clear you need to have an experience
2006-09-24 00:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋