pls tell me the funniest ever joke? make me laugh please?

Answer 1

A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out.

He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player.

He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player.

He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his penis in a bowl of peanuts. He can't believe what he see's and asks the man what he is doing.

The man replies "I'm f#cking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"

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Have a nice day!

Neo

Answer 2

He's gonna do what? - There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies. One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa. The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" He said, "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other. "Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman. Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE". So, they wiggled up close to each other. "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer. Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!" With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US?

Answer 3

What is RODEO while having sex???
The man i laying on his back and the woman is over him!
He tells him she has AIDS and try to stay up for 5 min.

Answer 4

My uncle got a job at the zoo circumsizing elephants... he says the pay isn't that great but the tips are ENORMOUS!!!