OK people I really need help here. I've been seeing this guy for a few months. I came to a positive conclusion that we are wrong for each other. He is emotionally abusive and I really don't want that in my life. But, like any abuser, he knows how to sweet-talk and guilt-trip. I don't have any other friends or anyone to talk to, and I stupidly miss him if I'm away from him for a day or two. I told him that I don't want to see him anymore. More than once. He made a scene - how dare you and so on, including physically blocking the exit from me. I wanted to call police, but I didn't. Anyway, it is bad and disfuntional relationship. I know this when I'm by myself and when I can think straigt. But when he calls and asks for help like pick him up from the airport and such I just not strong enough to say no because he's asking nicely. And the whole thing goes on and on and on. Please, help. Tell me how to dump a guy effectively so the doesn't come back. Preferrably, without involving police.
2006-09-23 21:05:28 · 14 answers · asked by Everybody's Favorite 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't live with this guy, only have a key to his place (which I'm sure he'll demand back)
No, can't move - I'm in college.
No, can't talk to parents - they are far away. My mom yells at me for ever seeing him in the first place. My dad in no longer alive.
2006-09-23 21:23:15 · update #1
I fully support myself financially, I don't rely on him for money.
2006-09-23 21:28:24 · update #2
The problem is not dumping the guy.....it's whether or not you are ready to be done with him. If you say that you are done then just leave him at the airport or what have you, and let him figure it out on his own. If he still doesnt take the clues for what they are then maybe the police will have to be involved.
2006-09-23 21:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Zach S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is MOVE to a new apartment or maybe even better to a new town and don't give him you new address and phone number. Write him a letter and tell him it's over. If he is abusive you need to get away from him, it will only get worse. If you don't want to go that extreme then just tell him you have decided that you and he are not compatible and then change your phone number and stay away from the places where you are likely to see him. If he shows up at your home keep the door closed and tell him he needs to leave .. after a while he will get the message. You really need to make some friends. maybe consider joining a local church .. especially one of the more modern churches that has a small group that you can join. You really need a support structure around like family and friends that can help you when things like this come around ... you can have them take you into their home in an emergency if you need to escape from an abusive boyfriend.
Finally, make your decision and stick to it. Don't be seduced by the sweet talking .. you KNOW that he is just conning you so get that clear in your mind and STICK TO YOUR DECISION..
Good Luck!
2006-09-23 21:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by MeInUSA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, im sorry to here that about your situation. I would suggest you pack up, leave, and just say" Look, i don't think you are the best thing in my life right now because im not happy and apparently you arent either. I think that our relationship would be better off as a friendly one." you have to be tough, because i went out with a guy like that before andi broke free off him and you can too.Don't let him sweet talk you because, you dont need to hear it!! Its also not healthy for you to be in a relationship like this.oh, yea, and if he doesnt respect your decision, threaten to call the police(but dont really do it) or threaten to get a restraining order. i hope you find the answers to your relationship problem and best of wishes to you : )
2006-09-23 21:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by Nicoleon Dynamite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Here's how I handled a simular situation. I started by swearing off guys for the next five years. Then I sat down with Yahoo! Personals and entered all the traits Mr. Emotionally Abusive wasn't, and came up with Mr. Decoy. I made Mr Emotionally abusive aware of Mr. Decoy, who inturn dumped me for "cheating." I proceeded to marry Mr. Decoy the following year.
2006-09-23 21:11:55 · answer #4 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell a family member or close friend who can support your decision to leave this fella.
You must listen to your mind and not get sucked in by all his sweet words and gentle tone - recognise the deception!
If he's physically blocking your pathways, he could turn violent. Again , tell a trusted fren. A guy fren if possible.
Just tell your soon-to-be- ex it's over and you really need to break up. Don't do it face to face. Just call or stg. and Hang up after
2006-09-23 21:17:51 · answer #5 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sometimes u can't be nice and i think u should put your foot down and tell him to get the hell out and stay out. if he refuses then call the police, restraing orders work well too. u have to be sure that you are tired of abuse and that u want better things for your life and not to settle for just anyone. stand up take action and don't be weak and let him get inseide your head anymore.
2006-09-23 21:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by kelley h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's time for him to move on and that you need your space ! If, he's unaccepting of it ~ tough ! BE STRONG ! He's a manipulating jerk who needs to be put in his place ! If, you need to ~ call the cops cause, he sounds like he could snap ! Let him be abusive to someone else in jail ~ he'll learn his lesson the hard way ! Be careful ~ I got a bad feeling about this ~ it could get ugly !
2006-09-23 21:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jo Jo Gunn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly, i'm a virgin guy, and that i'm waiting till ultimately marriage to locate the final one, in my view. i've got fooled around with ladies in the previous, yet in no way long gone each and each of how. there is no longer something incorrect with virgin ladies in any respect, i hit upon the undeniable fact that they are waiting for somebody very suitable. shop waiting, hon. there is a few particular guy purely waiting for you!
2016-10-17 21:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey babe..itz clear that u luv him a lot. wotz wrong in spitting a NO on his face. Make up ur mind and say that right on his face. hey there is nothin impossible. itz hard to take the candy from the shelf keeping ur crystall glass in your armpit. simple.. to gain somethin you need to loose some thing. how can u luv him when he is not gud to u..
luvin..
amwaiting@gmail.com
2006-09-23 21:11:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases the best thing to do is tell them it's over face to face,but in yours I would end it over the phone.Avoid his calls.
I have been in your situation and it isn't going to be easy.
Try your best to stand your ground.If he comes to your house don't answer the door.Change your number if you have to.
The sooner you end it the better,it will only get worse if you don't.
I wish you luck,be strong
2006-09-23 21:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by kandn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋