My current boyfriend is selfish and was never disciplined as a child. I think this is impacting our relationship because everything he does is always about him and he does things all the time without thinking about the impact it will have on other people.
I was recently talking to my ex-boyfriend and he brought up a lot of things that shed a little more light on the situation but, instead of making me want to work things out with my current boyfriend, the things he brought up made me miss what we had.
Note: The break up was not bad. There was no drama involved. It was a mutual decision that, at that point in our lives, a relationship simply wasn't in our best interests. We were both under a lot of stress.
I want to tell my ex how I still feel about him but I'm afraid that he'll reject those feelings.
What should I do?
2006-09-23 21:04:32 · 8 answers · asked by Ria 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So lets start with current boyfriend. He is selfish, and has childish issues, then why are you dating him? Most likely because when he does focus his energy on you, it is more than you have ever recieved.What have you said to him about this issue? Have you told him that his actions are hurting you? He is your boyfriend right now because he is going to teach something about yourself as well as people in general. You were attracted to him at some point because he was a fit, someone to fill a void, a shoulder to lean on.
Now lets mention the ex boyfriend. How easy is it to resort to something that was comfortable? It's your safety, someone that just understands...someone that has the answers for you. Right now you are most likely confused beyond anything else. In my opinion, you should not just give up on the current situation and try to get back into things with your ex. Because how simple the break up was does not mean that you are in better places in your lives. Just really think before you give up on something that hasn't already broken apart. And don't give into the familiarity of an ex because it can re-hash a heart ache or cause a worst one when a second attempt doesnt work.
good luck
2006-09-23 21:17:45 · answer #1 · answered by girl_like_you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not 100% sure about your current or your ex then I would suggest you back off from both. True you can see both of them for a bit and see how it goes but from experience if you do that and decide to go back to your ex it will not be the same, he will know deep inside that you can not be trusted to not do it to him (whatever he says or you say to him). The real question here is - Are you confident enough to be alone, do you really need a boyfriend? If you can answer that with Yes - confident and No - need then your hands are not tied. Decide is your current BF worth trying for, if so put the ex out of your mind. If not then move on for you and for him. Next your ex - its natural to miss what we had with ex's - Is there are possible future there, or would you go back to where you were all over again? I personally think you know the answer to your question, but you are unsure and don't really want to be alone. It sounds like all or nothing to me - end it with BF its not fair to him or you to continue something you are clearly not happy with. Tell your ex that you have feeling for him - but DO NOT come over as desparate - If your ex plays on your feeling then that will tell you more about wether you weant to be with him or not. Above all else in this treat others as you would like to be (not have been) treated keep your own sense of honour and integrity because whatever anyone says - the way we treat others does eventually come home to roost. Good luck.
2006-09-23 21:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by King David of Spain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with both the ex and the current about how you feel. Rejection is better than never knowing, and those feelings you're having for your ex will only further impact your relationship with your current boyfriend if you don't address them, especially now that you and your boyfriend are having issues. It's a very delicate time.
2006-09-23 21:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lady G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you have to lose if he rejects you? At least you'd tried and will know and move on from there, happily or not.
I think you should go with your gut and just say what's on your mind. The ex sounds like a sensible fren still , so he prob won't crush your heart. But you sure he is available and not involved with anyone else?
2006-09-23 21:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know what sup tell him straight up that if you selfish i will leave you but first talk to him nice tell him that you need to start being shelfish and talk to him how you want the relationship work if he doesn t listen then leave him it only going to get worse if you stay with him. If he won t let you leave then sneak out the house.
2006-09-23 21:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by KILLAH CAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE THE SELFISH RAT! go back to your ex. speak to your ex, im sure he wont reject u. good luck
2006-09-23 23:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by 96degrees 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need a real man ~ get rid of the loser with issues !
2006-09-23 21:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jo Jo Gunn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get on with it then
2006-09-23 21:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by 185 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋