whey do military wives think every thing is owed to them?

Question

i am an x navy man and i am trying to figure out that if you are a mility wife you think every thing is owed to you due to your man is in the mil. You also claim it is the mans falt when you cheat on him when he does a west pack and you stay in a mil. town and some of the guys come over. i know quite a few guys that have staied fathfull to there wives and the come home and she has a sexual disease and the time frame don't add up. so once again i ask why.

Answer 1

Goes both ways really. But I see your point. I think that military wives tend to soak up the benifits. Alot do not work and they should be working. They need to show their kids they are strong and independant. They need to show they can make it incase something should happen to their spouse. I think that too many military wives tend to take the military wife name for granet with the poor meeeeeeeeees. When in reality they need to take care of their kids and stop expecting us to support them. What makes them differant than the average mom? I dont see families of wild fire man getting the benifits of stayin at home rent free while their men fight the fires months at a time. So many need to get a job and do their part. There men deserve the support as for them, they need to grow up and get up and quit whining about what they knew they where getting into.

Answer 2

I agree you must have had a bad apple. I am a military wife for a little over 3 years. I am far from being emotinally needy of male attention especially from some strange soldier. When I have a husband who treats me like he adores me. I wouldn't cheat on him if you told me I could have 20 million dollars and all the pecker in the world. He is my everything, and I stand by him no matter what his job asks of him. He gone 9 months out of the year, and even when he is home he is gone to schools, training or something that always takes him from home. He has been in for 15 years, sometimes I think I love it more than he does, and it definately is not because of any benefits, or because I feel I am owed anything, I don't feel I am owed a dime...........

I do feel my husband is owed respect for what he does, where he's been, and the hell he has to put up wtih by americans who are freaks about this war.

I'm not owed a thing

I just want my husband home safe and sound

Because he is My HERO

Answer 3

I am an ex-Navy woman, married for 22 years to an ex-Navy man. I know the type of woman you are talking about. But it is wrong to generalize and put all military wives in the same box as those who are only in it because they can have 8 kids without medical bills and they get their allotment check.

My husband and I were both active duty when we married. We married on a Saturday, and he left on a short cruise that Monday for 2 months. The only thing I ever felt the military owed me was to get both of our paychecks right so we could pay the bills on time. Any woman, military or other, who cheats on her husband, or any husband who cheats on his wife, should never have married in the first place. Part of being married is trust and being faithful, and if you can't do that, stay single.

My husband cheated on me one time. I was home and he was in the Phillippines. On the way back to his boat from his little trip to the whore house, someone cut his back pocket and stole his wallet! Being the type of man he is, when he called me to explain he didn't have a paycheck anymore, he also told me about the hooker. And he never, in 22 years, has had another reason to cheat, whether he paid for it or not. He learned his lesson.

Oh, one more thing to that story -- he had my permission to find a hooker.

Sorry if you have had a bad experience. I knew quite a few women while I was in the Navy, and living in housing, who slept with anything that walked while their husbands were away. Don't know what the logic is behind that, other than total lack of maturity.

It is not the man's fault if a woman cheats, any more than it's the woman's fault if a man cheats. It's called responsibility, and maturity.

I do think, however, that military wives (or husbands, they get left home during deployment, too), deserve to be "taken care of" while their spouse is deployed. Military housing, allotment checks, and access to all spousal benefits are part of the package. I also think that they should make sure to keep the spouses up to speed on what's going on with the deployment.

Our military has a tough job. Bless them and their families for their willingness to serve.

Answer 4

I don't feel like anything is owed to me. I made the choice to marry my husband knowing he was in the Military and would be away from home a lot. As a matter of fact, I'm actually very appreciative of having the chance to see so much of the world, and I've had that chance because of my husband's Military career. Our children have been to more Countries then most adults that we know, and since moving to Italy, they all have picked up on and speak the Italian language well. These are incredible experiences for children that will carry over into their adult lives.
I do think it's important that the Military continues to provide support programs for families that feel they need help while their loved one is away. I'm the Ombudsman for my husband's command, and I defiantly encourage the spouses to reach out to these programs if they are struggling.
You are absolutely right when you talk about some of the wives that cheat, and then try to blame their husband's for it. People are very quick to say it's always the Military person that cheats, usually the man,but I have seen many wives mess around when their husband is out to sea or on deployment. Many of my own friends have done it. My husband is a Chief, and one of his guys on his last ship got a sexually transmitted disease from his wife, and then when he went on deployment, she cleaned out his bank account and sold a bunch of his stuff. I can't fathom doing something like that to anyone, let alone my husband!
When we were stationed in Virginia, there were these group of wives that would literally be on one pier waving goodbye to their husband, and then be on the next pier waiting for their boyfriends to come in. This was a pretty common thing around there.
But again, we're not all like that, and I have been treated with nothing but love and respect from my husband, and I do the same for him. No fling is worth ruining my marriage and destroying what means the most to me in my life.

Answer 5

I am guessing someone did this to you, and i'm sorry, but don't let one woman give the rest of us a bad name. Cheating happens, it doesn't have to do with the woman being a military wife or not, if it's in her character, then it will happen. I live on a Marine base with my husband and while he was gone I heard about some wives having guys over, but just because there are some rotten apples, doesn't make us all bad. I stayed faithful to my Marine and I know lots of other faithful wives.

Answer 6

I am a Military Wife and mother of 2. NOTHING is owed to me! My husband chose the military. It is a position of choice and I chose to deal with it. He did it for his country and veterans before him. He is willing to endure whatever is put before him, and I, as his wife, have to be able to deal also. Whatever may happen, Heaven forbid, I will stand strong and do what is neccessary, NOBODY owes me anything. Any military wife who thinks so should remember that this is a chosen way of life that they either adjust to or don't marry in to it. As for the cheating, then the marriage wasn't strong and I hope they don't have children who will suffer the consequences. I will say a military wife may need to be stronger than most, not all , but most, they need to be able to make ends meet, be supportive for the husbands and children when daddys gone and need major coping skills.

Answer 7

I am an older woman who wished I could have found a military man.My father was in the airforce and I felt I need the strength honor and discipline of a military man.Many women now a days think that everything is about them and I have even seen them put themselves before their children.We have the wonderful feminist movement to that for that little piece of cake.Not all of us women are bad or are cheaters and I am sorry there are those that have no respect for men.Especially a military man.I believe that every woman should be required to read Dr.Lauras The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.She has no use for selfish women and I applaud her.Good luck.What one woman takes for granted there is one that appreciates.

Answer 8

First off, use spell check dear....Now I am married to an Army man, currently deployed in Iraq. I am not a cheat nor will I ever be. The generalization is cruel. As for you saying we feel like everything is owed to us for having our guys out there, well you know; I am owed alot. Surely I am owed something for being sole caregiver, mother, father, keeper of the grounds, trash woman, housekeeper, painter, mover, and Santa to boot! There is/are so many things to do on top of worry every living second about car bombs and bullets........feel me?

Answer 9

Are you speaking of ex. military wives who feel that her ex owes her or maybe shes hurt and so she wants to take him to the cleaners or are you speaking from your own personal experience,I am a military wife and I dont think everythings owed to me I was also a military wife prior to this marriage yes its my second,after our divorce all i wanted was for my ex to provide for his child no spousal just child support because I am hard working and I have my own career.As far as cheating I was very young when i got married the first time so yes we both cheated I was 18 he was already 24,after we had our child at age 19 I completely had to grow up so cheating was a thing of the past,as for my current Husband I am much more mature and I am 100% faithful to him and I will wait on him as long as I have to even though he isnt deployed right now but in the event that he had to deploy again I would be right here waiting for him to return to me again.So not all of us are bad I know that not all military wives are good ones but I am.Alot of Military guys get caught up with these females that are just looking for a meal ticket and a free ride and once shes hooked him she does think she has him because if all doesnt go her way she picks up the phone and calls his command until his command finally gets tired of hearing her nagging voice,so this works both ways the service member makes bad choices and winds up with a tramp,as a result he has no idea if the children shes had while he was deployed is his child or not,Perfect example My Brother his nagging stbex find it really funny that he has to pay her support for a child she knows could not possibly be his child yet to her the childs a meal ticket and its sluts like her that make us faithful military wives look bad.

Answer 10

Did this happen to you? I am very sorry.
I don't know why a military wife wouldn't just buy a vibrator.
maybe what they are doing is misplacing anger, like they are angry that their man is gone and instead of blaming who put their man at war they blame the man. IT sucks, I wish they had the kind of support that would help them support their soldier. I don't know why anyone would stress out their loved one in such danger.
not every woman cheats I never have. alot of women I know never have. There are billions of peope on earth the chances that many of them are selfish is very high, likewise with the chances of many of them being selfless and most people fall in the middle.

Answer 11

I am a military wife. Maybe I am a minority but I do not think anything is owed to me... I work hard and do everything I can including working full time to help support our family. I don't even use the commissary or px on post. The few times I have even been on post my husband was with me.

Also, I would never cheat on my husband because it is wrong and I believe in the vows we took together! I also know he would never cheat on me. We have to much together to ruin what we have.