why is this always the first question?

Question

why is it that when i talk to people and they find out that i have been down range the first question they always ask me is have i killed someone. is the american public so upsessed with death?

Answer 1

Perhaps because we do not understand it--it horrifies and intrigues us. We do not know how to respond, because we are so innundated by media that glorifies it, and laws that rebuke it, that we don't know or understand the real-life extent of it, and when we run into someone who does, or who might, we seek to gain any insight we can.

Thanks for your service. Be well.

Answer 2

well, the everyday average human being goes about their day, eating breakfast, going to work, coming home, taking care of family and then going to bed, with a little more activity here and there, and a little differant depending on the person. Killing someone isn't an everyday occurance. The same thing happens to me when I tell people I'm a dental assistant. The first thing they do is tell me about a problem to see if what I have to say is any differant from what their doc told em. My husband told me that if you put 60 people in one room, statistically only 1 person will be in the military. I can imagine what an everyday conversation in Iraq is with some of the people "So, how many people did you have to kill today?"! They're not obsessed, people are just curious about what they are unfamiliar with. I constantly ask my husband what it is like to drive around in a tank as his "typical day at the office"!

Answer 3

Cheer up. The last question I got from a civilian was "Are you going to die?" ... and this was from a girl who couldn't have been more than ten years old, in the airport when I was getting ready to go back to Iraq after R&R.

You're not the only one who gets screwed up questions. I wonder how the soft-skill MOS people take it. Or those from service branches like the Navy or Coast Guard who get asked that.

The average civilain just doesn't seem to know any better, or show any desire to be informed. I quit thinking about what the American public thinks as being important long ago. You'll feel better that way. Really.

Answer 4

Yes. The american publid is greatly obsessif with violence, death and kiling. That is a natural outgrowth of the sort of sexual repression that exists in this country. Also, the media has protrayed the idea that anyone that has even been in a combat situation has killed someone.

Also in other countries (LIke Europe) the kind ov violence that is inherent in American media (Movies especially) gets and x-rating while more sexually orineted material is less restricted than it is here. IN australia you used to see advertisements for "Adult" movies in public parking garages and on public billboards. And places like that DON'T hve the kind of problems with violence that we have here in the states. It is more acceptible to watch someone having their eyes melted than it is to watch a love scene. Of course if the "sex" is part of the violence it is perfectly acceptable. (That is why violence is so prevalent in our society and people don't know how to be tender and caring.) Think about all the hassle over the falst of Janet Jackson's bare breast at the superbowl half time show last year. The image was in view for barely a seond, and people went crazy. Yet they show live scene of combat from Afghanistan and Iraq and no one complains about the violence. Makes you think doesn't it? And if it doesn't, it should.

Answer 5

My ex husband was in Iraq. This also bothered him, very much. Because even if you didn't kill anyone, you saw horrible things. And my heart hurts for you. But please understand, we are imbeciles. We live in a land that YOU went to another country to defend. We do not worry about war in our country because of our brave soldiers. Try to overlook some of the things we might say. We are ignorant of what you have actually experienced. And the media has made you the bad guys, when in fact, you have done so much it should make the media fall on their faces and beg forgiveness. THANK YOU SOLDIERS AND VETS!!!

Answer 6

It's because our society has been so conditioned by the media to focus on death tolls and mortality rates that it is the first question that comes to mind most times. When you turn on the news, you don't hear about all of the great things our troops are doing overseas, all you hear about is how many people were killed.

Thank you so much for your service to our country...It is greatly appreciated!!

Answer 7

I dunno about obsessed, but there IS a natural morbid curiousity regarding death in general. It's most clearly demonstrated than with a car wreck. We ALL know how backed up traffic becomes, even with a silly fender bender. With death being in the future for us all, it's one of the few issues universal to every human.
Having "seen the elephant" like yourself, I usually get the question: "What's it like to be shot at?" first. Maybe it's a subconsious way for folks to guage my attitude before asking the next, "DId you ever kill someone?" question. Like you, I consider the question to be moderately rude. When asked, that's what I tell them.

Answer 8

Probably because in this country whenever we see a soldier on the News- he's killing someone in a war somewhere, so people automatically think ALL soldiers have. That's nonsense, of course, but such is the role the Media plays in our perceptions.

Answer 9

Morbid curiosity or they are not sure how to hande the rest of the conversation. They are uncomfortable with themselves and don't have the manners to not ask. They may not know how you feel about your time served in the military and not know how to gracefully change the subject or ask more thoughtful questions like, Are you enjoying being home with your family? I bet they are happy to see you. Glad you are hear with us.... ect. And may I also add, thank you!

Answer 10

I think a lot of people don't really know what goes on over there. When most people think of combat or war, they think of Full Metal Jacket kind of stuff... not all the other things that go on. It's sort of like an ignorance, I guess you could say.