I have a friend that is shy. He is always wanting to spend more time with me. He tells me this in emails. We go to lunch with each other but he never looks at me. He is always looking away. Is this part of his shyness? It is confusing to me. His emails say things like he thinks about me, misses me, wants more time with me but then when we are together he is almost like a different person. He is in his mid 30's.
2006-09-23 17:59:18 · 13 answers · asked by Martha T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your situation is definitely common with shy people.
In highschool, a couple days after asking my girlfriend out, I noticed she wouldn't look me in the eye when she knew I was looking at hers; she would even roll her eyes around me while shifting positions whenever we were having a conversation. One day, I just asked her plainly "how come you never look into my eyes?", which would be followed by a little shrug. I just told her to try and a few seconds later, we were both laughing, but it was an incredibly happy moment that brought her out of her shell.
As for your friend, he might be doing this for a number of reasons.
For one, he may be physically attracted to you and wants to avoid looking like he's staring. He's probably looking at you when you don't know it.
Another reason may be that he's just a little intimidated about the situation, and basically needs a little coaxing.
There could be numerous reasons, none of them very rational, for why he won't look at you. In the end, he probably doesn't want to run into any kind of rejection or negative judgment so he avoids taking the risk of opening the windows of his soul to you.
It sounds like you want him to look at you when you're together, which is perfectly normal ... Just talk to him about it, be bold and ask him why.
2006-09-23 18:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by cdub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can really relate to this one. I am 19 years old, and very shy, so shy infact that I have never really been kissed. This is very hard for me to admit especially all over the internet. I have been out on pleanty of dates but none so special that I have to seal the night with a kiss. It almost sounds like I am a coward: because when I email my girlfriend I can express my self better, but when she is standing infront of me I have a difficult time telling her how I feel. This shyness is really getting in the way of me having a great relationship. I am working on it though. I know I am only 19 but I hope it helps anyway.
2006-09-23 18:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by jtdm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is alot of people here quick to judge we have no idea what his life was like or how his childhood was.
i know a guy that was degrated by his mom his whole life and he had confidence issues, until he meet a great girl. they r married and u would never believe he is the same guy. he is the most outgoing person u ever meet.
it will be easier for him to talk freely on the net, what i would do is talk to him about it next time u e-mail each other. maybe he will open up to u.
2006-09-23 18:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he live with his mommy too? I'm shy & in my late 20's, but if I really like a girl, I make a boat load of an effort to win her over in person, especially if the lady feels the same way about me.
2006-09-23 18:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by JoseIIV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow mid 30s... that is crippling shyness... kinda psychotic.. but yeah eye contact should be natural cause ur so beautiful to him that he cant help but stare into your eyes. shy guys shouldnt look away cuz theyre shy
2006-09-23 18:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by joey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIM BEING SHY, just chill and try to spark conversation, youll definitely have to make the first move, that is, if youre interested.
2006-09-23 18:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Tha A-Train 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. mid 30's and hes still that shy? that sort of sucks. but yeah, hes just shy i suppose. hes definately interested in you though. just tell him that if he wants to get serious, he has to stop being so shy? i dunno, thats the only thing i can think of. heh. maybe if you let him know you like him (if you do like him?) then he'll stop being so shy.
2006-09-23 18:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are alot better actors than others;he could just want to get laid.Your story does sound peculiar......Makes sure he's not married...Good luck!
2006-09-23 18:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by Direktor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this would be much cuter if he were in his teens! thats a bit immature for a 30+ year old guy to be acting.
2006-09-23 18:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by sweets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am 34 and i am vary shy when it Com's to women i like so give him lots of time he will come around
2006-09-23 18:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋