i have been seeing this guy at work and i realized that i felt in love with him.
He already has a girl friend. He has been with his girl friend for 10 years old.
Their relationship always have some conflict ! So he started to talk me over
the phone occassionaly. I went out with him twice.Recently he hang out with and he took me to motel but i refused to go because i felt like he"s using me for sex. I really felt bad about this ? i don't know what to do ! I really have a lot of feelings for this guy. Why is he treating me like this? I just so confused !
2006-09-23 17:56:49 · 44 answers · asked by shirley411 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not in love, you're just infatuated.
Young girl, you want an answer straight from a guy like that,
I'm one of those, you're lucky I just happened to notice your question.
To make it brief, yes, guys like us are always looking for some free lunch and easy meat around and you were just within grasp.
We will talk you over then roll you over and when there is another fresh chick around, we'll roll over with our little stories in hand.
Where in the heck is any relationship of 10 years without any conflicts? Show me 1 when you are old enough to fully understand life.
Don't believe me? Just step aside and see which is his next target and wait a little longer and see for yourself what is the final outcome of such a so called relationship or courtship.
Budging into a relationship as 3rd party is already a hell hole you're digging for yourself, what more you're just in an infatuation stage where love haven't started.
I advice you to step aside and look for greener pastures around.
2006-09-23 19:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by davmanx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's treating you like this because he can. He has no real respect for relationships with women like you. You know that he has a girlfriend and you chose to go out with him anyway.
All relationships has a conflict or two or three or......but that's no reason to cheat. You were smart not to go into the Hotel with him because that is what he wanted from you and you would be feeling worse than you are right now.
Respect yourself and let this have been a lesson. He's a cheater and they take all of the SEX that they can get FREE.
If he's been dating this other Woman, His Girlfriend for 10 years and haven't asked her to Marry him...didn't that raise a RED FLAG ???? but a Guy that I knew said that a Guy like that has a Motto, and that is, "WHY MARRY THE COW WHEN THE MILK IS FREE".
Very seldon, do they commit but will continue to use however many Women that they can.
2006-09-23 18:33:19 · answer #2 · answered by Vera W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like the one that is confused.
You don't sound confused at all. You have all the facts.
1. He has a girlfriend.
2. He and her have been in a conflicted relationship for 10 years.
3. He has started telling you his sad story over the phone so you
would feel sorry for him. ( common male ploy to get sex )
4. Now he wants to take you to a Motel.... and you think he may
want to use you for sex??
Of course he does, he has been working his little plan and thinks it is about to pay off.
You know how I know??? Been there, done that.
Dump him and don't look back. Save yourself allot of heartache and tears. He will never leave the girlfriend. He will use you
You deserve better than ' left overs'.
2006-09-23 18:10:58 · answer #3 · answered by kar_summers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course hes using you for sex! He has a girlfriend and hes probably only using you as a booty call. Snap out of it, don't fall for this lowlife cheater. If your thinking that i;m wrng right now while your reading this i'm not. Hes cheating n you with his own girlfriend. You are the other woman not his girlfriend. Shes been aroudn for 10 years and obviously isn't going anywhere. If someone has to get up and go it's you. You'll find someone much better than a lying cheater. Plus having feeling for a co-worker will get in the way of working. I'd say quit or get him fired, try getting him fired instead of quitting. Good luck and prey to god the girlfriend doesn't find out about this little affair. You don't need any drama from his baby momma. Leave the loser!
2006-09-23 18:01:51 · answer #4 · answered by Liliac 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would end the relationship immediately.
It's ok for the two of you to be friends,but I wouldn't try for anything more.It doesn't sound like this is going to be the type of relationship you are wanting.You deserve to have someone who will treat you with respect and love you in return.
Not someone who is just wanting to have a fling.
It may hurt a lot right now,but you can find someone much better.
2006-09-23 18:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by kandn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he's using you. If he really wanted to be with you, he would of broken up with his girlfriend. He loves his girlfriend too much to leave her. Maybe you just give him a new kind of excitement. He's taking you to a motel for one purpose - to have sex. If you just want a sexual fling, than that's what you got. But if you're looking for more, cut it off with him. Your feelings probably feel so strong because we always want what we can't have. It's time to move on, cuz you'll get no where with him & whos to say if he were to be with you, he wouldn't cheat on you too? He must have commitment problems, come on, he's been with his girlfriend 10 yrs & has flings on the side. It's time to move on, you'll just end up feeling hurt.
2006-09-23 18:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he may be ready to move on from his current girl friend.
DO NOT go to a motel with him............If he wants to take you to lunch, dinner, a movie, theater, play, club, sporting event, go. Save the sexual relationship for when there is an established relationship, and he is finished with his current girlfriend, to make sure he is interested in you.
If he asks you to a motel again, do not associate with him any more outside of work.
2006-09-23 18:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he is. he's just using you as a decoy .
when his gf finds out about you, how do you think she'll act?
sweet words and problems, he's only gonna be doing that to gain your sympathy to get to you, and once there , things can happen.
make the right choice. are you gonna be ruined by a problematic guy and remember, he's attached!
if he can dump his gf later for you, he can do the same thing again!
he might be doing what he is doing for various reasons, to gain your sympathy to get to you , or he feels a need to talk to someone( which i dont see a reason for this as he invited you over to a motel )
he's just going to try to confuse you and use the word Love or I care for you to get to you while you're confused. do not be distracted by it
2006-09-23 18:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by whut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You NEVER want to be the girl that the guy is cheating WITH. At least the girl he's cheating ON would have integrity, but it would make you a w-word. If he breaks up with his girlfriend, he's fair game, but don't do anything until then, for now, just be friends. It will make you feel better in the long run.
2006-09-23 18:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by Jenny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any guy that has a fight with his g/f and wants to "take you to a motel" is trying to sleep with you. Sounds like he is trying to make you feel sorry for him b/c of his relationship. Don't listen to him, he is full of ****. If he has been with this girl for 10 years then he should care for her, but obviously he don't b/c he is trying to take you to the motel. Ditch this guy, it is for your own good. Tell him he needs to talk to his girl, not you. Besides, even if you were to get with him; if he cheats on her, then he will cheat on you. Just remember that, I hope you make the right decision.
2006-09-23 18:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by cherry_kissez376 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋