My brother is now 35 and I 32 we were unseprateable as kids and teens..my brother then married a woman that doesnt sit right with me she always treats him like a boy she even sends him to his room...he has had a rough adult hood hes a survivor of cancer and of a really bad head injury but she treats him so bad that i cant go there and visit with out coming home upset...my dad and mom say that she treats him inaddiquit so he'll feel like he needs to stay but she does it for his settlement $ from his head injury...i try to befriend her so i feel comfortable visiting but she is mean to him and is so loud and embarassing at times..i want to know my brother again and my nieces and nephews but how do i do it without losing my temper with her??My brother seems to not get he is being walked over and i know every marriage is different but i truly feel he needs an outside relationship with his family HELP!!!
2006-09-23 17:50:19 · 5 answers · asked by Alli 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Remember your brother and how important he is to you. Try and put into perspective why he stays in the marriage. He might feel very unsure of himself with his past medical conditions. I would keep an eye on the situation and vent to other family members. This is his wife and how ever much you dislike her he made a choice to marry her. Be supportive but be aware. If she becomes more verbally abusive, suggest she take a break and offer to be the care taker. It can be very stressful to care for some one that needs constant care. Her not being able to control or change his condition sometimes manifests into rage. Good luck.
2006-09-23 20:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Bexcy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and I were close also. He married a girl that I don't get alone with. But it's not as bad as your situation. If you keep at him it will just drive him closer to her. If you go see him & your nieces & nephews, take them out. At seperate times if you have too. Or you can do what I did. Argue, fight. I would walk in tell her how I felt about something. Then I would sit & visit with my brother. Made me feel good. Didn't hurt my brothers relationship with me. He liked the idea I had his back or who ever she was treating bad. Hope this helps some. It's hard to see a loved one being treated badly. Good Luck Becky
2006-09-24 01:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by Becky H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has kids and wants to stay in his marriage, right? And you have to admit, it's the right thing to do at least until the kids are all 18 or over. If he leaves the marriage, you won't see his kids. And do you want her to be the only parent in the house? I agree, he does need a relationship with you, especially if he has a disability or health problem. So, be nice to his wife and don't argue with her. That doesn't help, no matter how unreasonable she is. Be supportive to your brother. Listen to what HE wants, not to what you think he should want. Then you will be in a better position to help.
2006-09-24 01:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to meet with your brother outside of his home and away from his wife. It sounds like you want more of a relationship than what is possible so be content with what time you do have with him. Your brother has obviously made a decision and you need to accept it even though it affects his relationship with his family of origin.
2006-09-24 01:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by midge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love your brother but,mind your own business.
2006-09-24 01:40:44 · answer #5 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋