so, we are in the car and I'm talking on the cell phone with an aunt consoling her over the loss of her brother (my uncle). The game is on and the boyfriend says, "talk to her at home, the game is on the radio." I wanted to stop at the nearest gas station and let him out. problem is... he's my fiance'.... starting to have doubts here....
any suggestions out there?
2006-09-23 17:33:23 · 33 answers · asked by lester 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
An insensitive, poorly timed remark like that is a red flag, IMO.
Kick'em to the curb where they can hear all the games, uninterupted by other people's suffering.
2006-09-23 17:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you doing gabbing on the cell phone while driving?? I'm sorry, but consoling your aunt could wait until you were safely parked. No sense in giving anyone cause to console your fiance or your parents over YOUR death...
And your boyfriend was being insensitive - he should have said "Please, talk to her at home, I worry about you driving and chatting on the cell phone at the same time!" and not brought the GAME into it - but marriage is a lifetime committment. Do you honestly think that either of you can get through an entire lifetime together without occasionally acting like an insensitive boob? Not likely.
Talk about it. Have a good heart to heart about it. But you're both a little wrong and if this is enough to give you serious DOUBTS, then by all means, call off the wedding. God knows, you'll both give each other better reasons to DOUBT over the next thirty or forty YEARS...
2006-09-23 17:41:24 · answer #2 · answered by Holly J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Thats harsh. I mean I know hom important a game can be to some guys, but to that extent? Ouch. I suggest seriously holding off the wedding for a while and taking a good hard look at him. Was this just a larger version of things he already does? I think you two should have a serious chat. Ask him about that whole deal, and tell him how much that upsetted you. Maybe he was having an off day? Listen to his response when confronted about what an *** he was. That should give you a pretty good idea of his character combined with what you already know.
2006-09-23 17:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Nixxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be very upset. If he is supposed to be your fiance and he can't understand that your family has lost a loved one, he is not the one for you. I have been married two times. Each time I was so concerned over his feelings that I didn't express how I feel or stand up to them for fear that he would leave. So you need to figure out why you are in the relationship anyway. Is it just because you are engaged? Is it because that's what your friends & family are telling you that you should do? Think of yourself what makes you happy. He obviously does not. The divorce rate in the US is so high! I'd rather you talk to him about how you feel and risk ending the engagement rather than get married, have children involved (if not already) and be another statistic. Been there done that.... its not fun!
Good luck
2006-09-23 17:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jai C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, I come from a long line of sports fanatics and when the game isn't on, they are a great bunch of guys. We've even had them get busted in church on Thanksgiving listening to headphones...it's embarrassing, inconsiderate and unexplainable to most, but to them...it's life or death. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Chances are, the phone call was lasting longer than he anticipated and it's hard to console someone anyways when you are driving down the road....there are just too many other things going on. Tell him how you feel, tell him he was rude and make him feel guilty for his reaction...then let it go.
2006-09-23 17:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ooh, I'd be pissed. Did he understand the situation? It all relies on that. And does he have any other problems? But seriously, talk to him and tell him your feelings. I know some people want to be the perfect girl who never nags, but trust me, in the long run you'll become a nagging *****/psycho if you do that, that's why the first few months of a relationship are always easy. Make sure you two communicate your feelings well to eachother before you get married.
2006-09-23 17:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not keep how you feel to yourself. Communicate with you're fiance.
You have every right to be angry with his insensitivity but don't turn it into a resentment. Good opportunity to practise healthy communication.
Just a thought .. I get the impression that you were driving while having the conversation with your aunt and getting annoyed with your fiance.
A little distracting don't you think? Maybe even dangerous!
2006-09-23 17:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by mjdp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well look you are in the wrong here getting pissed off for somthing so little like words. if he would have grabbed the cel phone and hung it well thats different and if you were driving and talking on the cell phone then he did the right thiing he didnt want to be part of your reckless driving. I would thank him and think about it the game was on. its bad enough you dragged his butt some where and he couldnt watch it. I feel for him getting married to somone so wreckless and selfish
2006-09-23 17:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was a little insensitive, but maybe he wasn't quite aware of the response it'd have. Or the gravitiy of it all. Sometimes, good people do stupid things.
Talk it over with him, and tell him how it made you feel. If it's something he is sincerely apologetic for, and realises why it was wrong, it's not worth losing him over.
Good luck.
2006-09-23 17:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by Medicated Harmony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, ehh that's terrible. I say you sit down like a couple and talk about it, if it gets out of hand and your feelings never go back to normal, then really don;t waste you time. But i wish you the best of luck. Sorry about your uncle
2006-09-23 17:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by xCrazY4hImx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋