I didn't want my daughter to be as shy and withdrawn as me so I kind of did the opposite as my parents. Today she is the total opposite of how I was (except for values) and I'm very proud of her. She has lots of friends and lots of knowledge...I was very sheltered and had a hard time when I entered the real world.
2006-09-23 17:28:44 · 22 answers · asked by Dellajoy 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Some things I will do differently but most of the same, my mom was 37 and single when she had me and already completely raised one child so she had a little different prespective then most parents. Some things I wouldn't do like, I would actually talk about sex to my kids instead of just explain what the egg does, I would let my children walk around the block, or to a friends house that was less then a block away when they are like 12 yrs old. I wouldn't tell my daughter she couldn't date till she was 35. But like I said most things, like displince her and make sure she was home on time, called me when she couldn't, let her hang out with her friends a lot.
2006-09-23 19:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you blame your parents for your character traits, maybe your daughter is totally opposite of how you were because you don't have the same genes, I mean of course she has some of yours and some of her daddy's as well.
And I don't understand (except for values), it is natural to pass on the values you learned to your children, whether they accept them is up to them, do you think Manson's mother knew she was raising a serial killer.
You don't say how old your daughter is, maybe you don't remember how easy it is for children to make friends. They are friends one day and enemies the next and move on to other friends, make up with someone whom they swore would never be a friend ever. They are just children. Knowledge is good but should be reined in because too much too soon can also confuse.
Sounds like you did a great job, but you know children don't tell you everything until they are much older and then may confess to having what they now consider to be a wild party when you trusted them not to. Just be the best parent you can be. I don't think it is fair that you blame your parents because you were born shy.
2006-09-24 00:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, if she's great, that's all that matters. I personally do mostly the opposite because I had the "typical dysfunctional" upbringing (divorce, abuse, alchoholic step-dad) but once in a while I see the wisdom behind their actions. Often I find myself asking my husband, "what's normal?" I didn't know that so I'm trying to not be too far off the other end! So far, my boys are great. Praise God for them & for saving me
I really think even though lots of parents did a bad job generations ago, they did what they could, what they thought was best at the time and what they were capable of, even though it may not have been the best thing. That's how we learn & grow
2006-09-24 00:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by mommaof4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As to what Neptune2b... said - Sure you are born with certain charecter traits but the way your parents bring you up is deffently important to how you turn out.
If a mother were to lock her daughter in a room day and night, only feed her once a day and never talk to her, or if that same girl, same mother were to get along really good, go to school, get things she needed..... do you honestly think that girl would be the same!?
And as for my mother (asker of the question) thanks! I do realize how she was brought up, and im thankful she hasn't brought me up that way. No hard feelings to my grandmother. But they were alot strickter with many religious beliefs and such. (no hard feelings to the people who believe in god.. i just meant there was toooooo many beliefs cast upon her)
As for the fact I have freinds... trust me it isn't always easy to make friends. Most shy kids can't make friends easily, Luckly im not shy and I've made some amazing close freinds!
Also, someone mentioned about teens not always telling their parents things that happen. (ex. a wild party while they were away). Well you're right, for most teens they don't even talk to their parents. Sadly. But trust me my mother knows everything... and if there is something that she doesnt know (that maybe she should) it's only cause I've forgotten about it.
Anyway I could rant on and on, but im going to stop.
2006-09-24 11:16:55 · answer #4 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raise my daughter differently from how I was raised. When I was growing up I had a great Dad, but my mom was very abusive to me. I didnt even have to do anything and she would beat the crap out of me...funny, nowadays she tells people she never spanked me..funny how she forgot so much. I would never raise my daughter like my mother raised me. I get on to her when she needs it and I will pop her leg, but if I get too upset I tell her to just sit in the chair for however long till I can calm down, and I always calm down, sit down with her, explain what she did wrong and give her a kiss and reassure her that I love her. I say hopefully she wont turn out like me, the troubled teen, bad student who did a lot of bad things back in the day. Thing is, she is just like me so I know the areas where I can turn her around. So far, so good. :) I hope this made since...lol.
2006-09-24 00:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you had a great childhood, you raise your kids the same. If it was pretty bad, you do the opposite. Most people probably fall somewhere in the middle, and incorporate techniques and ideals that worked, while avoiding the things they feel affected them negatively while growing up. Good job with your daughter, she's lucky to have a mom like you.
2006-09-24 00:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by inquiring minds want 2 know 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are expecting our first baby (it's a boy) any time now and we have discussed this topic often. Since both of our parents are "old school" in that they are imigrants from another country, we have decided to take SOME of what they taught us and incorporate it into our own, more modern values and beliefs. In the end we want the children to develop their own and we will be proud of them regardless (hoping they just stay positive and respectful...period) I'm glad to hear that it all worked out in raising your daughter the way you have...you are a proud mom and you SHOULD be!!! You go girl!!! Good job! :)
2006-09-24 00:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Baby #2 On The Way! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you know what you're doing. You influence the good you had as a child onto them & the things you'd like to be different, you alter the way you were raised to best suite your child. I was shy as well, & so I decided to put my son in different activities to meet new people and become active, he is a lot more social than I was & it gives him something fun to do that he enjoys.
2006-09-24 00:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raised my son opposite...and he turned out great...
My parents both had problems...and we suffered for it.
I may not have been a perfect parent, but I do believe I did a much better job than my own did. My son will be an even better one someday I'm sure.
2006-09-24 00:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by svmainus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is NO WAY that I will raise my son the same way my parents raised us kids. My mom was a total control freak and yelled at us for every little thing. We couldn't even laugh while washing the dishes without getting yelled at. I got car sick when I was 12 years-old and my mom got mad at me because I couldn't clean it up and she told me I would be a horrible mom for that. I hated her for saying that and I have never forgotten it.
2006-09-24 00:32:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋