How do I handle my boyfriends threats to leave me?

Question

My BF and I have been dating for 10 mnths. Everytime we argue, I am the one who ends up apologizing each time. We argue over silly stuff & it's starting to drive me away. Today, he got mad because he asked me to go to the store and by my mom's to pick something up. This is something that needed to be done really quickly so I drove as fast as I could to get it. While on my way to my mom's he called me and said to go to the store first, bring what was needed and then go back to my moms . Well when he called, I was closer to my mom's than to the store. When he asked where I was, I lied and said I was headed to the store. When I got back with all the things, he was furious. He said I made him look like an idiot infront of his peers. I've lied in the past about stupid stuff, but now he's saying he can't deal with liars. He wouldnt tell me he loved me before hanging up the phone tonight. I always dismiss petty stuff but he fusses. I love him, but I dont understand.

Answer 1

Let him leave and see if he does. I bet he will not leave, I bet it is all talk and no play. If he does leave that means that he really does not care about you and that it is better that you are not with you. You do not deserve to be in a relationship where someone treats you as bad as he treats you. If I was you I would leave him, at least just for a while to scare him when he says he is leaving you.

Answer 2

Gas is so expensive. If you were closer to your mom's, then you were right to go there first and then stop by the store on your way back to him. You said you had to stop by there quick, although it is another thing to be at your mom's house just relaxing while you know he was waiting on you if that was the case. Do not lie to him about your intentions/plans anymore. Tell him the truth and stand behind it especially when you truly believe your way is better and he just wants what he wants when he wants it kind of like a spoiled child. Stop apologizing to him first all the time. Women do stuff like that (kissing up/ begging/pleading) when they don't know what they'd do if the man ever left them. Are YOU always in the wrong? He wanted you, someone else will too. Look yourself in the mirror and threaten to kick your own butt if you don't elevate your self-esteem. The next time he threatens to leave, what a confident woman would do is smile and gesture towards the door: tell him that no one's twisting his arm and he may go out that door as freely as he came in it, if he hasn't forgotten how to just twist the knob and pull.

Answer 3

He sounds like the controlling type and in order to get you to conform to his ways he threathens to leave you. He is all too aware how you feel for him and he is using it to his advantage. So you need to strongly consider if this is the type of person you want to be with who fusses over petty stuff.

Consider this - If he was a considerate loving boyfriend he would understand that you would have to go back and forth a number of times when it could be done in less.

Sounds like he really is an idiot if he places what other will think about him above you.

Answer 4

As a man I have to tell you that he only threatens to leave you because he knows your going to apologize. He knows he can get away with his b.s. He's also feeling the need to be in control, and honestly a lot of men want to feel the essence of being in control. However, there is a limit. And if he's more worried about looking like a "fool" in front of his peers then he is about seeing that you do what you need to do first, then he doesn't care about you like he's supposed to. Trust me sweety, I'm a man and if a man can have his way with a woman he will, and he will take advantage. He will go further and further with the threats as well as the arguments...he does this to try and find your limit. If he's sees you put up no limitations then he will only continue with it and get worse. You don't have to deal with that, it's rather ignorant. As soon as you stand up for your self and let him know he was wrong and not apologize for his ignorance then you and him both will see where respect, control and comfort is granted. Don't be the tracks to his train.

I hope this helps, and I hope you take in what I said.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Who care what you do first you mom's or the store. He is a control freke. Kick him to the curb. Know in your heart that you can do better and you will. The only one who looked like an idiot was him, you did not make him look like one. And when did he get the ability to read peoples minds. Little white lies do not count because they didn't hert one's soul. For some reason he thinks his life is so perfect, maybe he should try to walk on water. This guy is worse than a cat when he fusses. This man is not for you, there is someone better them him, in your future.

Answer 6

If you feel like you have to lie to your boyfriend to avoid a negative reaction, it's a sign of an unhealthy relationship. He sounds very manipulative.

Don't apologize next time he's truly in the wrong. See how he handles it. If he walks, you're better off without him. If he comes around and apologizes, you will have tipped the power balance to a more even level. But I'd recommend ending the relationship.

Never stay with someone who shows you so little respect and clearly values the opinion of his friends over your feelings.

Answer 7

Honey, he's treating you this way because you are allowing him to. What would have happened if you would have said "no, I'm closer to my mom's, I'll be there when I get there"? Probably nothing. If this man is more worried about upseting his friends, than inconveniencing you, my suggestion would be to show him the door the next time he "threatens" to leave. Chances are, he won't go, but he will start to have a little more respect for you. And if he doesn't...find the door yourself and find someone who appreciates you for who you are, not for what you are willing to do for them. I wish you well.

Answer 8

How can you love someone so controlling? And how can you love someone that can't be hisself in front of his peers? Is he really himself in front of you or is it a front? Sounds like you need to ditch him and fast. Love is a two way street. But your only traveling one way. If you have to lie to him and can't be honest without him getting angry what does the future hold. And if anything he is making you look like an idiot in front of his friends especially when you lie and act as though your his dog on a leash. Get out of this girl what are you thinking? Don't wait for a threat for him to leave show him the way out.

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to leave him, not the other way around. This guy is a jerk. You need to find a better guy.

He treats you like dirt, and he obviously is just using you.

He threatens to leave because he wants to see your reaction. He wants to get a rise out of you, and it seems to be working.

He's never going to change, he's never going to be the good boyfriend that you deserve.

He has no right to say and do the things he has been to you. Why are you with him? The longer you stay with him, the worse he's going to make you feel.

Answer 10

he is trying to control you and doing a good job of it...it is OK for him to ask you to do something for him, and it is your right to decide how you do it and in the order you choose to do so.. do not let him run your life, you are your own person and can make your decisions..if you do not stop this now, he will rule you forever...and that is not a 50-50 relationship, which is the most healthy........when he does not like what you say or do he threatens with i will leave you...that is not right to do that, so stop letting him do that...stand up for yourself and challenge him...if he leaves, let him and if his love for you is real he will come back...if he does not come back, it was not meant to be for you and him to be together..and learn from it so next time you meet someone you will know the signs that they are dominate and will emotionally abuse you. no one deserves that, even if you are married, or just seeing someone.