I am sitting here in front of this computer balling my eyes out because I just do not understand why God won't send me a man who loves me. I'm 27 years old I feel like the biggest failure in this world the only thing that I have ever wanted my whole life is someone to love me. I'm pretty, I think I'm a good person, I always treat men that I date good, but I just keep getting dumped and I don't understand it. I don't know if anybody has an answer to why, I kinda doubt it, but is there anyone else out there that just thought it wopuld never happen for them and then it did? Because I keep looking but.............Well look where I'm at.
2006-09-23 16:31:54 · 19 answers · asked by Tammy C 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
nothign is the matter with you! dont ever let guys get you down because they are not worth it! one day you will find a man that loves you for you, and wont dump you!! have confidence in urself and everyoen will love you
2006-09-23 16:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by coolkittenwinx 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
27 is still young, even though it doesn't feel like it to you. One problem I see here is that you are SO focused on finding someone. I feel that it is important for you to be able to be happy by yourself before you have a serious relationship. A man who is confident and secure (in other words, a man who would make a good boyfriend) wants a woman who is confident and secure even when she doesn't have a man around to tell her how beautiful and worthy she is. If you believe that you are f'ing great, and have faith that you will meet someone good, when the time is right (and you will), you will enjoy the time that you have alone more now, and you'll attract a GOOD man. (As opposed to a man who is seeking an insecure woman because he has issues and needs to manipulate women he has relationships with.) You said that the only thing you've ever wanted was someone to love you. I'm hoping that is kind of an exaggeration, and that you have other goals for yourself - career goals, things you want to accomplish, education goals, etc. You MUST be self-sufficient - what if your husband leaves you, or dies? You need to be able to take care of yourself, BY YOURSELF. I'm 28, and it was just recently that I found someone I could have a serious relationship with. Before this, I had been single for 3 years, then had a year long relationship (that should have never been a relationship anyway) and then was single again for another year. And the shi* I've seen guys pull - I can't even believe it, or begin to tell you. I remember so many times I'd see a couple together and think how crazy and miraculous that was - to find someone who you liked, AND who liked you too (and who wasn't just plain nuts). It seemed unattainable and foreign.
Don't stress. Someday you'll wish like hell that you had wasted less time worrying over something there was no need to worry about.
2006-09-23 23:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my dear, all things are possible to those that love the lord. I'm not kidding. I wasted 14 yrs. on a man that I thought I could change, guess what, two kids and 18 yrs. later he is still the same but, I met my man. Just don't sell yourself short. You are beautiful, smart and worth more than you know. So, don't give yourself to anyone that isn't willing to give you what you need and want. You are too young to feel this way. Life has lessons we have to learn and sometimes they are not pleasant. So, whenever you feel like this, say a prayer and ask God to lead you where He wants you to go and to bring people int your life that He knows you need in your life. Get into some kind of activities that will put you out there around good people and be choosy about the guys you spend time with. That old saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free is a real good one to live by.
You are a baby yet and life holds more for you than you will ever know. Pray every day and keep positive. That will attract the right people to you. I knew my man was the one because my washer quit when I was living in low income housing with my 2 girls and when I came home from work he was there with a used, new to me washer putting it in. And 2- months earlier I told someone I wouldn't go out with him if he was the last man on earth. So, don't be too quick to brush off the man that you may think isn't your type....believe me you will pass by the one. Good luck!
2006-09-23 23:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to make it short and sweet, 'cause not a lot of people like reading a ton of stuff. n.n
Don't worry,really. Normally everyone finds someone as they say.
I wouldn't look for "Mr. Perfect" because not everyone can meet every single one of your needs. And if a guy dumps you for that, they aren't worth it.
Some guys might dump you because they only want sex.
Those guys disgust me.
Anyways, I just think that all you need to do is to get a really good relationship, don't just ask them out..
Get to know them really well. Become their friend. Phone them at least once a week just to ask how they are doing.
Maybe you can invite them to go somewhere every now and then. Sooner or later,you'll be really good friends.
They say best friends make the best lovers. Because each knows what the other likes and dislikes. ^_^
Hope it helps.
2006-09-24 00:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by {[Chibitalia]} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, i am a guy around your age that feels the same way. we should get together! ;)
it is strange isn't it? you think, wow there must really be something wrong with me that i keep getting rejected like this. why is it so hard for someone to love me, when i have so much love to give in return? but i can assure you, there is no reason to feel a failure because the reason why some of the guys let you go probably do not have anything to do with you, what you lack or don't lack. reasons may be their own failures, their own inability to see your value, your worth. stop crying and keep looking. tomorrow is another day.
2006-09-23 23:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by tom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww sweetheart, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It could be that you're just looking in the wrong kinda places, or dating the wrong kinda men. I'll be honest, usually love - the real kind - comes along when you least expect it, it did for me anyway. So just stop trying so hard and go out and have some fun. Let your personality shine.. and make lots of friends. The love of your life will find you eventually, he's out there somewhere. :-)
2006-09-23 23:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Butterscotch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... maybe you should not look for a relationship for a while and just focus on yourself and improving your own life and becoming comfortable with yourself for who you are. Maybe you're treating the men too good too soon, which might seem to them like you're desperate, especially if they aren't treating you equally as well. Instead, maybe you should consider what YOU believe to be necessary qualities in a good relationship and what you absolutely wont tolerate. Be specific and realistic for yourself, respect yourself enough to not settle for anything less. You can do the breaking up yourself if it doesn't feel right for you.
2006-09-24 00:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH YES definitely both my husband & I NEVER thought we would be married let alone have three kids!!!
I was 28 and he was 24 when we got married in 1990.
WE met on a BLIND DATE and less than 6 months later we were married!!! LOL
Our first child was born 12 days BEFORE I turned 30 (1992) Second born in 1994 Third born in 1999
His sister FINALLY married LAST November and she is NOW 36 yrs old. Her husband is now 31 yrs old. They met online 3 yrs ago from www.match.com.
2006-09-23 23:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by jennifersuem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a bad marriage and thought i would never find someone again but i did and he is much better than any man i have ever been in a relationship with in every way. first you have to love yourself, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get some confidence. men don't want a whinny, crying, insecure girl. they want someone who loves them selves and can love them. Also stop getting attached so quick it seems like maybe you are too needy.
2006-09-23 23:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you can look too hard and try too hard. i have had several friends who finally threw their hands up in frustration and said they had to finally give up on finding the right guy, that all there was were losers and scammers....and of course with a few short months they met their soul mates. strange isn't it. one thing it sounds like you have friends you hang out with so just hang out, don't always be on the look out for that someone special. the other is join a dating service that is really particular. you're not too old to fall in love and there really are decent guys out there although they are few and far between. you obviously got a lot going for you and a lot of good to offer the right guy. just relax and it will happen and don't get involved with the wrong guy just so you won't be lonely....there are lots worse things than being lonely. hang in there....there is a right guy out there searching for someone just like you.
2006-09-23 23:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I figure if you date about 10 guys at the same time, not sleep with them but date them, you will be too busy between working and trying to remember who is who to be depressed over not having one,confusing relationship. And if one should dump you , well you won't really notice will you ?
2006-09-23 23:49:50 · answer #11 · answered by canadianchik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋