Can you tell me what went wrong?

Question

My mom recently died. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer three years ago. The cancer had metasticized to her bones and she had a few spots on them. She was getting radiation treatment (in the beginning) and chemo until last may when her doc switched her to hormone shots and she got her first shots in June. Things seemed ok until last May/Junish. Around that time she started to lose weight and get weaker. In July she found out that the shots were not working and that it may have spread to her liver.

Well, in Aug, she started to deteriorate very quickly (dehydration, diarrhea, fluid build up, fatigue, loss of appetite, infection. etc.) Everything happened so fast that it really took my family by surprise.

She was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago and they took a biopsy of her liver, checked on her abdominal pain (they removed 2 lites of fluid) and looked at her intestines. She never woke up after surgery and we were told that she died of sepsis.

Answer 1

Let me start by saying how sorry I am that you have lost your mother. My mother also died as a result from having breast cancer years earlier. She had the type of cancer that travelled through the blood system and after 17 years it reappeared in her lungs, liver, stomach and one ovary.
It sounds as though your mom really went down hill fast once the cancer took hold of her body. I looked up Sepsis and found it to be some sort of infection that happens to hundreds of thousands of patients that are already sick and weak. It almost sounds like staph infection but worse. You can find out information about it just by typing "what is sepsis?" in your search engine and it will tell you what you want to know. I did not bother to see if it is anyone's "fault" or not. I figured you may want to look that up for yourself. I don't know how old you mother was when she died, but it sounds like she put up a fight. Keep a check on yourself and when you get old enough, start doing your own breast exams and have your mammograms.

Answer 2

I can't really say for sure what caused the sepsis in the first place. But if you look it up on the internet the fluid that built up is probably called ascytes. Not sure of spelling. My husband just had four liters removed. The doc. told him it is risky and some people never wake up from it. If they remove to much it can cause a heart attack because your heart needs the fluid is what the doc. told my husband. But considering everything she went through and the advanced stages she was in her body was probably just to weak. The symptoms she was going through are all symptoms of cancer. It eats the nutrients in your body. My father in law died two years ago of bone cancer they gave him a month to live and he lasted three weeks. My husband has pancreatic cancer. My aunt had hodgekins (spelling) disease. My grandpa died of stomach cancer when I was a kid. My mom had breast cancer without any symptoms but they caught it early. They removed one breast. This has been a few years ago and so far she is okay. She has had a hysterectomy too. Not because of cancer but she isn't taking hormone shots. They say these can cause cancer. I'm sorry you've had to go through all this. I can't even begin to imagine. The only thing I can say is that hopefully you can find some comfort in knowing she isn't in any pain anymore. And I would recommend getting regular breast exams. I do think it does run in families. All my family that has had cancer is on my moms side of the family.

Answer 3

Cancer is a very sneaky disease that can sometimes trick you into thinking someone is healthy- because they look and seem healthy. However, as you know, your mom's body has been undergoing radical changes in the past three years (and however long the disease was there before she was diagnosed.) It is very common for the disease to progress rapidly at the end, and someone who seems to be doing well declines right before your eyes. The symptoms you saw at the end were physical signs of her organs failing. Liver failure causes edema (fluid buildup) and obviously the disease was taking over. It sounds like she wasn't healthy enough to undergo surgery, but I'm sure that it was done with the best intentions. Doctors do not perform surgery on high risk patients unless the possible benefits outweigh the risks. Sepsis is often unexplained, but it is more common in people with weakened immune systems, like your mom. I am so sorry for your loss and although I am sure that you wanted more time with her, remember that she was sick and scared and that her suffering was short-lived and has ended. I lost my father to cancer two years ago and he also declined rapidly (underwent treatment for 18 months, then his health failed within three months.) I would give anything to have him back, but not if he were sick. I think that you will eventually see your mom's decline as a blessing. God bless you and yours.

Answer 4

My husband passed away due to liver cancer last Dec. and he had water build up around his abdomen and his legs were huge.
He was a very strong man, but when the kidney stop functioning this causes the body's fluids to become stagnent hence the infections, they were probably trying to releave your mother, just to make her more comfortable and the procedure was too ininvasive and she was not strong enough.

I am sorry for your loss, my husband was diagnosed only a month before his passing so I can understand the state of confusion your family was in, I was still in shock from the diagnosis refusing to admit it was true and surely someone would be coming into the hospital room and say something like, Oh we found the problem all you need is a blood transfusion or something like that and he was suddenly gone, still can't believe it sometimes. Stay strong for your family honey, and always try and remember the good memories your family shared with your Mom.

Answer 5

First of all, I extend my deepest sympathy to you and the rest of your family. It appears since your mother's cancer had metastasized to the bones, it was too late for any more chemo. When cancer spreads to that point, it is in every cell and every organ in the body. Having had a son die of cancer, I can also tell you this. Cancer patients go for a few weeks of appearing to do very well and we think they are getting better but in reality, it is all downhill from there. They should have had her on hospice and she should have been encouraged to have a living will and then wouldn't have had to suffer so much. This was all beyond your control so don't feel guilty now or in the future. Remember your Mom for the good times. That is what she would want. When someone dies, we go through several stages, until we can accept it. Takes awhile too. Find friends that are willing to listen and talk with them.

Answer 6

a lot of things went wrong. (i can't say that the doctors and other health professional's decision was wrng or what). This is just my opinion. Stage 4 breast cancer is a malignant cancer, meaning, it is severe already. At that time, chances of getting back to normal is merely possible. Raidation treatment and chemotherapy (usually in your mom's case) only suppress the metastasis of the tumor/cancer cell growth. I don't really know about that hormone shots. I haven't encountered that one. Have you followed up with the doctor after few weeks of the shots, coz I think it was not working on your mom's condition at the first place.
Also, SEPSIS? wow... I am sorry for your mom. I don't really know how could this thing happen. Hopefully, this won't ahppen again. you can sue the hospital for that. have u? OMG, i can't really believe that.
I hope you have recovered already.
Hope I have helped you.

Answer 7

Unfortunately when someone has stage 4 breast cancer that has already metastasized the outcome is never good. Believe it or not you were very lucky to have your mom for the past 3 years.
I am a Little confused about the injections she was receiving as I've never heard of receiving hormone injections for cancer (I am a nurse). 2 of my aunts had breast cancer and neither received hormone injections.
The symptoms that you have described are typical of the cancer having spread even farther into other organs.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry about your mom, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

It really just sounds like the cancer just spread and the chemo/radiation weakens the bodies immune system to fight infection; after surgery she may have caught the infection that turned into sepsis and ultimately she could not fight it.

Cancer is an awful thing. It isn't fair that it take so many lives.

Answer 9

my first husband also died of sepsis - the poisoning of the body from within

sometimes you cannot explain
sometimes you cannot say "what went wrong"
I dont know how old your mom was.. but I can say we all die sometimes, I am sorry for your loss but look at it they way I did..

it wasnt really a surprise.. a surprise would have been if you got a phone call in the middle of the night "your mom was in a car crash and died"
you did have some warning - some time to say good bye

my first husband died within 5 days of being admitted to hospital.. it was better to have those days than a phone call with no warning...

Answer 10

You really should talk to her doctor. They are the ones who can give you the specifics.
What it sounds like is that her immune system way so depleted by the cancer, radiation and chemotherapy that she wasn't able to fight off the infection.
I am SO sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is devastating, regardless of your age or how it happens. Give yourself time to heal. It takes a good deal of time to accept and begin a new phase of your life. Find someone to talk to - everyone needs an outlet.