Should she be there for him at his every little beck and call to serve him? should he really be upset with her if she doesn't think to ask him if he would like something to drink while she is getting herself something? should she really be made felt bad if she is overwhelmed, stressed out, or has things on her mind and doesn't stop to think of focusing in on his want's, needs and desires?
2006-09-23 16:05:51 · 14 answers · asked by pnutt 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
What is often left out of that verse is that men are to love their wives as themselves! I have come to think of submit not as meaning subservient but rather respectful.
Ephesians 5, 21-33
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
2006-09-23 16:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by hazydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Is this happening to you? This is all wrong. We are men's wives as well as they are our husbands. Our role is a helper. Helper means to help. Not maid, not waitress, not mistress. We are to respect our husbands but they are to LOVE us. All those things listed are not loving actions. Those are all extremes. Submissive is more in decision making and letting him be the head of the house hold. That is not to say he rules over you. He does not. He is also the main disiplinary to the children. To that you cannot question him in front of the kids unless he is beating them. NEVER should he make you feel bad. That is not a loving behavior. If he loves you, then your needs should also be met by him. If he loves you and you respect him then this question would not have been asked. This is very serious. I hope you find the help in God that you need. Pray lots. Marriages blessed by God will work out. Ask elders of you church to help. I will pray for the both of you!
2006-09-23 23:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be nice is one thing, to ask if he wants something while you are up is one example of being nice. But, don't think that you should always think of him, if you have kids, he has to understand they come first, then you can help him out. Helping is good, but if he sits on his duff acting like a king and acting spoiled rotten, talk to him and explain that you have some things to do first. Like I told my husband just a couple of weeks ago, "This IS NOT the 1950's, I do have school and kids to take care of, the house needs cleaned too."
He doesn't do any cleaning, so I make sure he at least gets off my case about doing for him. He understands most of the time. If your hubby gives you grief and calls you names, you should seek some marriage counseling. If it gets to the pint where you are crying and he still doesn't understand, get out...
2006-09-23 23:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly_261 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not his mother but his wife and as such an equal. being polite and asking if he wants something when you go to the kitchen is fine-if he does the same thing for you. marriage is about give and take. If you are overwhelmed then talk about it. a marriage is about meeting each others needs as well as expressing what those needs are. Communication is key as well as knowing what the other persons needs are and finding a comprimise when those needs conflict with your own.
when he has things on his mind and ignores your needs do you make him feel bad or do you just take it?
2006-09-23 23:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To Western Women
By: Aisha
When you look at me
all you can see
Is the scarf that covers my hair?
My word you can't hear
Because you're too full of fear,
Mouth gaping, all you do is stare.
You think it's not my own choice,
In your own "liberation" you rejoice.
You're so thankful that you're not me.
You think I'm uneducated,
Trapped, oppressed and subjugated.
You're so thankful that you are free.
But Western women you've got it wrong-
You're the weak and I'm the strong,
For I've rejected the trap of man.
Fancy clothes - low neck, short skirt,
These are devices for pain and hurt,
Always jumping to the male agenda,
Competing on his terms.
No job share, no baby-sitting facilities,
No feeding and diaper-changing amenities.
No equal pay for equal skill-
Your job they can always fill.
Is this liberation?
A person with ideas and thought,
I'm not for sale, I can't be bought.
I won't decorate anyone's arm,
Nor be promoted for my charm.
There's more to me than playing coy.
Living life as a balancing game -
Mother, daughter, wife, nurse, cleaner, cook, lover -
And still bring home a wage.
Who thought up this modern
"freedom?"
Where man can love 'em and man can leave 'em.
This is not free but life in a cage.
Western women you can have your life.
Mine - it has less strife.
I cover and I get respected
Surely that's to be expected -
For I won't demean the feminine
I won't live to a male criterion.
I dance to my own tune,
And I hope you see this very soon,
For your own sake - wake up and use your sight!
Are you so sure that you are right?
2006-09-23 23:29:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Husbands and Wives should be loving and considerate to one another, but submissive? What the heck's that all about? Wake up and smell the Starbucks!
2006-09-23 23:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by Dianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no no no.....this is a terrible misunderstanding. Assuming you are speaking of yourself - your husband is the head of the household, meaning that when he goes to heaven, he is responsible for the success or failure of his family.
You are not a servant....tell him to untie the anchor from his a** and get his own drink.
A husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ did not ever make us feel guilty, or berate us, or turn us into personal slaves.
It is totally not about HIS WANTS NEEDS OR DESIRES - what you are talking about is male domination, and it is wrong.
Think about it, AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH - Christ loved women, he always turned to them for comfort...he never treated anyone like that - and a husband that does so needs a visit and counseling from his pastor!!!
2006-09-23 23:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by chris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The husband has a responsibility to not abuse his status. A good Christian man would not. He would be worried about his wife's welfare and not totally his own. I hate it when men use the Bible as a weapon against women.
2006-09-23 23:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God’s Word the Bible talks about how husbands should love their wives as their own body and they should imitate Jesus Christ who loved the congregation. He was willing to die for them. The Bible also states: “Let each one of you [husbands] individually so love his wife as he does himself.” (Ephesians 5:28-33) And God’s Word tells wives “to love their husbands, . . . subjecting themselves to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be spoken of abusively.”—Titus 2:4, 5.
Being submissive does not make u inferior but it means that you're suppose to have deep respect, and he should respect u too.
2006-09-23 23:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by AmJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wife's Honor+respect+submit to her husband=Husband's Love+respect+protect for her wife.
That is the equation for both husband and wife to observe throughout their marriage. Less one makes no balanced sheet of marriage.
2006-09-23 23:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by camilo r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋