New mom held baby all the time, now trying to lay him down to get some work done and nothing works. Will not stop crying till he is picked up. How long is it reasonable to let him cry before picking him back up. Or do I let him cry till he stops. He cried for fourty minutes the other day. Not sure of what to do
2006-09-23 16:01:36 · 23 answers · asked by Patsy P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
See thats what being a new mom is learning from your mistakes you need to just lay him down and let him cry i know its really hard but you made him this way and your the only one that can break it..it's not hurting him to cry in fact its hurting you more to listen to it and watch him struggle but theres nothing wrong with it you cant hold him 24.7 I started that with my daughter and she wouldnt even go to sleep unless i proped her up on my chest and we both slept like this trust me its complete misery and the longer you let it go on the harder it will be ab le to do cause they just get bigger goodluck to you
As long as he's been feed and changed lay him in the crib and peek in and check on him but dont let him know you are checking because then thats just going to give him reason to stay up. You can spoil a baby by holding them too much when there little.
2006-09-23 16:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 2⤊ 6⤋
Well if he doesn't have any needs, I recommend the heartbeat bears. They have this little battery powered box inside with a knob outside that has a 30 minute timer and you can turn them on & off, that sounds like the human heart as heard from inside the womb. Sometimes the baby is so accustomed to the warmth of your body and sound of your heartbeat nothing else will soothe him. Make sure the baby's not in a draft and warm enough then turn on the bear's sound box to a comfortable level, not too loud, and place it near the baby's head. I did this with my 2nd son and it worked! Another alternitve is the Snuglis that you wear...it's awkward at first but you get used to it. I bought one when my firstborn was teething because he wanted to be held all the time while he was hurting. If the baby is actually teething, it starts around 4-5 months with some babies, use Baby Orajel in conjuction with infant tyelnol drops. I know a lot of people say it's a waste because the drool washes it off, but it will help provide some relief until the meds kick in and more stays on then people realize. Also, you didn't say how you lay him down, whether it's tummy or back. I know the big campaign is to always lay them on their back, but if the kid has a lot of gas, tummy feels better to them. My eldest wouldn't sleep any other way and he's a healthy 4year old. Try the bear, it might work for you too!
2006-09-23 18:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot really hold your baby too much, but we all need some relief.
Try 10 minutes, go and check on him, pick up cuddle him, check diaper, feed him, wait 10 more minutes and repeat, If after 3 times he is still crying, stop what you are doing and see to him. Try again in an hour or so.
Another thing, he may have gas or be teething and be uncomfortable, try treating these individually and see if the symptoms get any better.
He may also be bored. My daughter has a fabric block made by Lamaze that she just loves, try different toys, remembering that one may not hold his interest at all or for only a few minutes.
A swing or vibrating bouncy seat is another must have.
Dads or friends can also come in handy as baby holders if you really need a break.
Relax and enjoy your child, the laundry and dishes can wait. He will only be a baby once.
2006-09-23 16:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sabrina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
40 minutes is WAY long to cio. That is nuts. Too hard on both of you. If someone gave you an Ezzo or Ferber book throw it away. They will both tell you to let them cry forever and it is a horrible way to parent - it will damage your relationship long term with your child.
Have you tried to sort out why the baby is crying when you lay him down??
Your choice is to ignore him or respond when he cries & that does not mean 'pick him up'. This isn't a power struggle, he does not have the ability to reason or know why or what you want him to do when he is laid down. Sometimes babies cry for no reason and that is not your fault or anything you do can change it. Especially if you have a higher needs child. How old is your baby? Depending on the age I can make some suggestions on how to transition from being held to lay & play or lay to sleep easier. Is someone telling you that you held your baby too much and conditioned him to only be comfortable when held?? That is baloney. Only you know your baby and his cues and how much crying you both can tolerate. (((hug))) Our society makes us feel that the mark of a good parent is one that child raising should be so simple & by some set guidelines. It isn't. You may have to accept the fact that you will not get some work done for a while till your baby is out of this phase.
2006-09-23 18:16:52 · answer #4 · answered by funschooling m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you can "spoil" a baby, but I do believe you can set habits that are hard to break, which is what you are experiencing. I had to break a baby of the pacifier habit because he would spit it out, wake up, I'd have to get up and give it back, he'd spit it out after a half hour, wake up, cry, I'd have to get up . . . . you get the idea. So I took the paci away for sleeping. The first time he cried for 2 hours. He finally fell asleep. The next time was about 1 hour. He finally fell asleep. AFTer that it got shorter and shorter. Withing a week he was paci-free, no crying when put down. I know the paci is not your issue, it might even help you right now, but the situation is similar. In your shoes I would make sure baby is clean and has a full tummy and most important, make sure he's TIRED--it won't work if the baby isn't sleepy--then let him cry. Close the door, go in another room, and put on some white noise to drown it out if you have to. He is safe, he is ok, he is just learning a new thing and it's not fun for a couple days.
2006-09-23 16:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by toomanycommercials 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They say you shouldn't let a baby cry themselves to sleep until they are 6 months. Don't feel bad about holding your baby. They grow to fast and soome they will not want to be held and kissed and all that stuff. Take it all in now while you can. Have you tried laying the baby down right next to you or putting the baby in a swing or a bouncer seat to calm them while you work? Try those things. Hope it works out for you.
2006-09-23 16:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by iluvtheyanks2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try baby music or maybe putting a TV in there on cartoons. Make sure the baby doesn't have gas. Rub the tummy gentle. Is he sleepy. Wrap a blanket around him/her snugged. Give a small rattler or soft little stuffed animal. Give a pacifier. Give a baby mobile that has lots of colors. Try some of these and see what happens. Maybe the baby wants play time with you. Sometimes giving them something to entertain themselves will help. Letting them cry for a little while is ok but not too long cause something is bothering them and they can't sleep. Hope these ideas help. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-09-23 16:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by JD0305 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had this same problem with my first son. Here's what worked for me.... take a heating pad and put it in baby's crib to warm the sheets. Don't forget to take the heating pad out before you put the baby down. Another thing that works well is white noise. This worked with all my kids. You can buy CD's of vacuum (our favorite), washing machine etc bought a CD player that had a repeat function and he would sleep as long as the "vacuum" was on.
When I got pregnant with my second and desperately needed sleep, I did the let him cry method, but hated it. You have to put them down then leave. You can come back and rub their back, talk to them etc but not pick them up. The first night he cried for an hour. The second night around 45 minutes. It took about a week for the crying to stop. Sometimes it helps to stay in the room with them then each night move closer to the door till you can leave. That is supposed to be easier on the baby. I hope this helps, good luck and hang in there!
2006-09-23 16:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by DeeDee 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It always help to give him/her a bath before you lay him/her down. If the baby is a newborn you can try swaddling, since the baby is used to be held, you can try keeping a baby blanket on you (sleep with the blanket next to your body) so that it will pick up your scent. then when you are going to put the baby down swaddle him/her with it so that he/she can feel as if you are close. Babies that are younger than 3 months know who you are by your smell.
another thing you can try is turning on black noise from your tv or even putting a clock by where you are going to lay him/her down. Babies are also used to the noises from your body and noises such as above always seem to help.
If your baby is 3 months or older then you should try not picking him/her up everytime you hear him/her cry. If you are sure the baby has been fed, does not have a wet diaper and he/she is not hurt then you should allow them to cry. Do check on her/him every five minutes. If the crying persist after 30 minutes then is time to pick them up make sure they are ok, cuddled and given enough attention and them put them back on the crib.
Remember: Babies have necessities and demands but so do you. A baby will learn that you have other things to do besides carring him/her around but keep in mind that they are hopeless without you. They cant talk so the only way they can let you know they need something is by crying.
BE PATIENT!!!
2006-09-23 16:30:57 · answer #9 · answered by JUST ME 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Babies cry because they have no other way of telling you that they need something... There is nothing wrong with a baby wanting to be held all the time... They grow up fast so enjoy it while you can... Yes, you aren't going to get the house clean... Yes, it is possible you won't get to the dishes any time soon...
You should NEVER let a baby cry and leave it in a room by itself... You are only teaching it to be insecure by this action and frankly that is pure ignorance on anyones part who thinks or believes this is what you should do... That is called neglect...
To pick up a baby who is crying you are only enforcing that you are there when the baby needs you and reassuring the baby that its needs will be met. If you HAVE to set the baby down to get some things done set him/her in their carrier or bouncy chair in the same room that you are in talking to him/her while you're doing whatever it is that you are doing... Reassure the baby that you are there...
But once again... Enjoy every minute that you can - they grow up so fast!
Loving mom of 3...
2006-09-23 16:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
my son is 4 weeks old and cries all the time it is hard i know but i had to put him down at times.... we bought him a swing and he loves that... we also bought him a mobil that put on a light show.... he also likes music.... but the others are right he will only be a baby once so i hold him as much as possible.... i thought at first i was gonna give him the "hold me baby sickness" but then i realized that these moments that i share with him are the ones i will look back on when he gets married or has a child of his own.... Sweetie just be thankful that you can hold him and he is here lots of people want what you have right now enjoy it
2006-09-23 16:22:53 · answer #11 · answered by i_luv_my_army_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋