my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I told him yes, but I keep holding it off telling him I don't think that is what he really wants to do as an excuse. He keeps pushing it. The only reason I keep holding it off is because my family wants me to wait to get married, either because they want me to be older or to have more money or be more stable in some way, and I have always followed my parents and families wishes, because I always found them best, but my heart is telling me just go do it. Go get married, and if they' re mad they will get over it. I am so in love with him and I really want to get married, but my parents hate the ideal as well as the rest of my family. I just don't know what to do and I would like to know your opinion.
2006-09-23 15:14:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way I have been waiting 4 years to get married, and I feel I am secure enough with money, but my parents just always want me to get more and work harder.
2006-09-23 15:23:47 · update #1
oh an I am 28
2006-09-23 15:32:49 · update #2
i think it's time for you to decide your own decision...
you're growing up. your family aren't gonna be there for the rest of your life...., you'll have your own family soon.... if you love this guy... marry him.... don't listen to your family.... listen to your heart.. it's better to try and make a mistake in your life, than not doing anything.... if marrying this guy will be a result of hatred from your family, it will be fine... they will get over it... your parents loves you enough to understand you and support you.... they just need time to think and get over it... don't be afraid of the result that you'll get by marrying this guy, sometimes in your life you'll need to sacrifice something to get what you really want...
good luck....
2006-09-23 15:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by nakitamaganda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents and family only have your best interest at heart. Many of "US" more experienced folks have been there and done that. Try on the shoes before you buy 'em...... you don't have to buy the pig to get a little sausage.
Time will tell if he's really stable and wants to be with you in the long haul. More young people fall in love with the "Marriage & white picket fence dream" and think the first step is a ring .....
Depending on your personal feelings... perhaps living togeather for a year may be a great compromise ..... see if he can learn to leave the "seat" down, and pick up his own dirty clothes before you make it permanant.... Also if you wait to you have a house, great job with benefites and a retirement package you'll be 60 .... so don't wait to long. Remember this ... if its real "Love" itwill lase and waiting will not hurt anything...... time is on your side here !
Good Luck !
2006-09-23 22:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold off honey till you feel your life is more stable. Then you can settle. Ask your man why he's in such a hurry. Marriage is not an easy thing to do and certainly you both don't want to regret but will be going into this thing with the right intentions. Just wait for a little while
2006-09-23 22:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, chill chill chill. Take a flippin chill pill. Your so inlove with him???? GREAT!!!!! Thats awesome. But don't marry him until "you" know that your ready. Your parents and other family members have a point. Wait till your stable and have cash.
Age doesn't really make a diference but atleast do it while out of highscool. Tell you man too chill too. Tell him to take a flippin chill pill too. He aint in no rush and neither are you, sweetie. You don't need a piece of commitment paper to tell you to be with him for the rest of your life. Just relax and see what happens next. Its good to have a heart that tells you the truth, but its also good when you have a mind that can tell you the real truth when your heart is too confused.
2006-09-23 22:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by Cassie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting married is not some finish line that you cross...it's the start of a life long commitment. There are many reasons to wait, but money and stability are the most important ones...living happily ever after seldom happens, your parents just want to make sure you have the best chance possible. Good luck whatever you decide.
2006-09-23 22:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is if your family wants you to wait and you have respected and believed in what they have said in the past, then you should wait. Why cant you ? You guys can be engaged and in love and just wait. Our hearts sometimes dont make the wisest decisions. That's why your lucky to have family who cares enough to step in when they feel your heart is taking you in the wrong direction. Listen to them, they know what they are talking about from experience that you cant understand until you live it. If you both love each other as much as you say you do then why cant you guys just wait ? If he loves you he will do it.
2006-09-23 22:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you're an adult! Make your own decisions, live your life the way you want it and you'll either suffer the consequences or reap the rewards. When you reach a certain age you have to make your own mistakes and learn from them. I'm not saying it's a mistake to get married, I'm saying it's up to you!
2006-09-23 22:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the only thing your family objects to is your decision to marry this early, maybe you should consider their opinion. If they truly don't like him, maybe there is a reason. The best thing you could do I imagine would be to pray. Good luck!
2006-09-23 22:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by an_immortal_angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family loves you and wants whats best for you; hold off and maybe it will save you a divorce down the road!!!
2006-09-23 22:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with accepting his proposal but telling him that you don't want to get married right away. You want to give yourself time to grow up and mature bit more.
2006-09-23 22:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋