My girlfriend has been curious about a threesome. Has anyone out there tried one and if so was it a good idea

Answer 1

In order to do that, it takes a high level of Emotional Maturity with both partners and choosing the right individual who is non-threatening and where it won't interfere with the relationship.

From a Sociological Perspective, threesomes are frowned upon because the purpose of sex was for Procreation. 3somes and alternative uses for sex simply to derive pleasure would be deemed inappropriate, most especially if you have a Puritan background.

That being said, most people's perceptions and what they convey to others will affect people Psychologically. Theoretically, in an ideal society where there's Social and Emotional Maturity, the act of sex would be no different than engaging in any other sporting activity.

The question to ask for people who are about to engage in 3somes is whether both parties are able to distinguish between Sex and Love. Are you emotionally ready to accept that? That's a problem that is found with people who work in the Adult Industry and engage in sex with partners other than their lifemate.

If it's your girlfriend who is the one suggesting it, then the trade-off would be where you get to choose the gender, which would supposedly be a female as a 3rd partner. This is because it allows you to ease into a 3some relationshp without feeling as threatened because you're supply the male aspect.

If your girlfriend is suggesting a 3some and she wants it to be male, you have to be very careful and weigh the Emotional Intelligence of your girlfriend. If it turns out that the male is more pleasurable and she chooses to have future encounters with a male, it renders you obsolete and could ruin the relationship.

Once again, we come back to how important it is to ensure that all parties involved are Psychologically ready for such an encounter and any side effects that can occur.

I would urge you to seek out a Female Partner to satisfy your girlfirend's 3some Fantasy and that the Female you choose is skilled with or is comfortable with using a Dildo or a Strap-On. This is if your girlfriend insists that the 3some be MMF with a Male 3rd Party.

The only satisfaction she needs when it comes to a "Tool" or two of them is the shape in order to create stimulation. Since the objective is not to get pregnant, A Female partner will be most ideal and the least threatening.

The other thing you need to ask yourself is where your Sex Life is headed. Once you move in a direction, sometimes there's no heading back. It could be a terrific experience, or it could turn out badly. However, that still comes back to Emotional Maturity. If you're both mature about it, you can have some really rewarding sexual experiences and be able to indulge in sexual exploration.

Sex is just like running a new business. If you manage your business properly and avoid all the pitfalls, you can make some serious cash and it will be a terrific experience. If you don't manage your business correctly, overextend yourself, and fail to manage your human and financial resources, it could turn into a disaster.

So the "risk" you want to take is nominal and would be that in any new endeavor that you choose to partake in. There's a risk every time you step out of your house and avoid getting into a car accident. However, because you and your girlfriend are proficient drivers, it's no big deal.

Just like driving on the road, it all depends on whom you interact with on the road. You could be abiding by the Traffic Laws, but some jerk doesn't and hits you.

The same can apply to you and your girlfriend if you're both Emotionally Mature and abidin by the "Sexual Traffic Laws," but while you're on the road, someone who doesn't abide by the Sexual Traffic Laws hits you.

That's the equivalent of choosing the wrong 3rd Partner to help you experiment with the idea of a 3some. If you choose the wrong male or female when you explore, you could run into problems if the Male or Female who is Emotionally Immature starts to develop feelings for your girlfriend or you.

A lot of people tend to confuse Love and Sex. If your girlfriend has a female friend in mind who is open to an encounter, you could do that. Females tend to approach sex differently than men and they know their bodies well.

Personally, I would suggest you try experimenting with growing accustomed to Adult Materials that show 3somes if you and your girlfriend haven't done so already. Then you can weigh the pros and cons of a sexual 3some and what to expect.

It may sound silly, but if you've never had a 3some before, you need to know Timing. When you're in a 3some, it means there's an odd pairing. When one person is interacting with the other person, what is the other person going to be doing to help or add value to the interaction?

If you haven't thought about it or choreographed it, you could have a FFM where your girlfriend and her female friend are making out and you're just sitting there not knowing what to do with yourself.

Think of Ross Gellar from "Friends" when his wife said she wanted to have a 3some and the wife and the girlfriend who ended up stealing Ross' wife away had Ross sort of sitting on the sidelines just watching it unfold and had nothing to do with it.

Don't be a Ross.

Once again, we come back to Sexual Dominance and why you want to 3rd Partner to be a Female so that you continue to maintain Male Dominance. If you're an inexperienced Male Dom and you introduce another Male Dom into your 3some, you'll be sitting around not knowing what to do and take a back seat while the Male Dom moves into your territory pleasuring your woman.

The other reason why you'd want to opt for another Female is because you've at least got a "hole" to do something with. If it's another Male, that is in a Missionary Style, you don't have many options as a Male. The most traditional "sharing" of a female is where the woman is Doggy Style with the first male behind or underneath and where the Female is in a position where her mouth can be used as 2nd opening to satisfy the other Male.

MMFs will follow some varation of that theme or if it's Double Penetration, more a Male Sandwich with the woman in between. If you're Heterosexual and comfortable in your manhood to have your testicles rubbing against another man, that's fine. If you're going to be weird about it, then we once again come back to why you should get a Female Partner.

It looks really bad if you have a Male 3rd Partner who is more experienced because it makes you look inexperienced. This comes back to why it's important for you to be the only Male during this first encounter and to have the 3rd Person be Female that is either Submissive or at most will use toys such as a Dildo or a Strap-On if you're unsure about this whole 3some thing and you've never done it before.

When you're screening for a 3rd Person, I would suggest you go for a Submissive Bisexual Female that is pliable and willing to take direction. It's okay if she's experienced in Sex because she'll be able to guide your girlfriend and give advice without being a threat to you.

On top of that an experienced Bisexual Submissive will be content to enhancing the encounter and know what to do with herself.

If you take on a Bisexual Female who works with a Strap-On, pay close attention to whether she's giving direction or not. If she takes a Dominant Role with a Strap-On for Double Penetration where she makes you as the Male engage in Anal Sex even though you didn't suggest it, be very wary. It means she's a got a Dominant Streak.

If you're naturally submissive and don't mind being told what to do during a Sexual Encounter, then there's no problem. However, if you exhibit traits, you're Heterosexual, and that Female with a Strap-On starts exhibiting Dominant or Butch Tendencies where she wants to ram the Strap-On up your *** during that 3some encounter, that could be reason for concern if you're not Bisexual and have no interest in any foreign objects being inserted in your rectum...

If someone should ever find themselves in such a situation and it takes them by surprise, it means they didn't screen their candidates properly. That's why interviewing and asking the right questions matters when it comes to selecting a suitable 3rd person for this.

Sex is Psychological. It doesn't matter whether you have male or female genitalia. When you engage in a 3some, you want to be Dominant because if you don't someone else will take the lead. It doesn't reflect well on you in terms of Psychological Dominance if the 3rd Party being introduced into your 3some (Male or Female) takes the reins and starts telling both of you what to do because it means you have to take a Submissive Role.

Your best defense is education. In FFM 3some, there's really no difference when it comes to Sex as you'd see with 2 people. You've just got an extra pair of hands, mouth, etc.

Screening and interview candidates as if this was a Job Opening may sound silly, but bear in mind that your relationship with your girlfriend should be top priority. You don't want something as trivial as a 3some to ruin it.

When you're screening a person (which I would assume would be female for your own sake and not a guy), set up a scenario and ask what she would do. You should quiz them. Is she the type who knows what to do and does she have chemistry? Does she come up with the same answers as you would.

If she goes way out in left field with something bizarre or sexually deviant that you're not emotionally ready for, that's what she'll do in the heat of the moment. Don't forget that sex brings out our most carnal passions and desires that we'll act out on instinct.

You should also be familiar with your girlfriend's likes and dislikes. This is really critical, especially if it should ever come to the point where she wants a MMF with a guy as the 3rd Party.

The last thing you want is to introduce a Male into the equation and it turns out that the new guy knows how to pleasure your girlfriend better than you.

That's a BAD BAD sign.

When it comes to your girlfriend, you should already know how to pleasure her and be the expert on what your girlfriend likes and dislikes. If another guy (or even a girl) is better than you, it can cause problems because she'll desire someone else more than you, which can create feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

It's important that you establish yourself as the Alpha Male and in control of the situation or else it could get out of hand if not managed properly. You need to be a Man about it. Don't be indecisive.

You should also survey your girlfriend and find out the Psychological reasoning behind why she's interested in a 3some. It's good to know why because then you'll know how to manage her in the bedroom and when it comes to a 3some encounter.

Is she interested in Double Penetration?

If that's her only reason for wanting a 3some, perhaps some Ben-Wa balls, anal plug, or a dildo will be enough. You can easily satisfy DP with her doggy style and inserting something in her anus.

It may sound silly or like I'm stating the obvious, but bear in mind that the safety of your relationship with your girlfriend shouldn't be compromised. If it's possible to explore alternative solutions to a 3some that will satisfy her sexual needs, do those first before you jump into a 3some.

Any time you add another person, it means you've changed the equation in the relationshp. It's no longer just between you and your significant other. You've added another element that is somewhat unpredictable.

Like I said, it's just like a Business. You can have a really terrific business that is extremely satisfying and bring in lots of money or you can have a financial disaster on your hands.

The same goes with a 3some. It can be mind-blowing and rewarding, but it could also turn out bad if you don't manage it properly.

Even in regular sex between two people, experienced lovers know how to have sex without using a condom. They know how to pull out in time. That's because they're experienced and they know how to manage their bodily fluids to minimize the risk of pregnancy.

People who don't know what they're doing will screw it up and accidentally get pregnant. It's all about experience and knowing how to manage people and equipment.

When you're with a lover who knows what they're doing, sex is amazing. If someone doesn't know what they're doing, it can be terrible. You'll see this with people engaging in Anal Sex.

Some women cringe at Anal Sex because they had a bad experience with a guy who did it wrong. The guy made it a painful experience. I had one girlfriend who was 13 and her first experience with Anal Sex was with a boyfriend who had 10" cock.

Needless to say, she doesn't like Anal Sex. Gee. I wonder why :P.

When it comes to satisfying your girlfriend's 3some Fantasy, know what you're doing and everything will "come" out fine.

Answer 2

I have been involved in 3 threesomes in my life. The first one led to the suicide of one of the girls who had been best friends. The other 2 we all still get along well together, although we are now living in different towns, we are on good terms with each other when we meet. I would not recommend it for those who have doubts about themselves, especially if you are not mature about life in general.

Answer 3

Not a good idea. I have a friend whos wife wanted to do it and they both thought they would be fine with it and now they are divorced. Another guy his girlfriend said she wanted to and ended up being just so she could sleep with some other guy. It just dont seem to work out.

Answer 4

Yes I have tried it twice. Both times it was with two women. It was physically pleasurable and mentally stimulating. However, the guilt comes in after the encounter. You begin to question your morals and the value you place in yourself. I bet the guilt and sense of worthlessness would be more if you try it with someone you love and a third party having the same sex as yours. I recommend that you do not give in to her curiosity.

Answer 5

I haven't, but I have a few friends who claim they have. I hear it's not exactly what it's cracked up to be. My buddy said, "It's like driving two cars at one time. There's a lot of stopping and starting and you don't get anywhere." Are you looking at mmf or mff? That could be a BIG difference in how things go.

Answer 6

It's a great idea if you want to see you GF with another girl or guy, being left out, getting jealous, argue over it later, break up...

It's something best left in the fantasy. Three's a crowd.

Answer 7

Well make sure you are both comfortable with the idea.....and if you do decide to proceede then make sure the 3rd knows that if you or your gf want to stop, then they need to respect that. It has to me an agreement understood by all. The thing is to make sure that everyone is comfortable and not under pressure.

Answer 8

Lay down the ground rules 1st, my friend tried one and for some reason didn't expect her boyfriend to touch the other girl! Needless to say, it didn't end well at all. So discuss what you each expect to happen beforehand.

Answer 9

Honesty having a three some is very exciting, but it will blow that trust and love you know. There are jealousy that takes place. Doubt becomes prevalent . Be very careful when you share sex. Sex means more than we realize Don't let lust destroy you family

Answer 10

I have never known a 3some to go right when it is a couple inolved with a single person. you would be smart not to do it that is if you really want to be with her. Because doing it will most likely end your relationship

Answer 11

Yes, it is always a good idea. You didn't specify who was out numbered. You should ask her before you go ahead with it.