How can I deal with rude parents?

Question

I love my parents, but sometimes they are just so rude - not only to me, but to everyone! They're always embarrassing me in public places with their poor manners and I just don't know what to do about it anymore. Please help! Thank you.

Answer 1

It depends a bit on your age. If you are young,your perception of your parents' behavior may be affected by your own insecurities and your need to be liked. What kind of a life have they led?Have they had a rough time of it? Perhaps they are simply trying to deal with disappointment in life by keeping people at arms length. I am not saying this is a good reason for poor behavior but knowing why they act as they do,may help you in your approach. If you are an older person and your parents have acted rudely for as long as you can remember,chances it is ingrained behavior you may not be able to change. However,that shouldn't stop you from expressing an opinion in a respectful manner. Perhaps they aren't even aware that others may consider them rude,especially if they were raised that way. My mother taught us common courtesy but did not practice it herself as she got older,mostly due to the fact she felt life had dealt her an unfair hand. I had to speak to her about it a few times because she was setting a bad example for her grandchildren. This may be a good opening if you are an adult child and have or hope to have children.

Answer 2

You can try to talk to them, but sometimes parents won't listen to criticism from people who are younger than them, especially their kids. Someone their age or older who they trust may have more luck if they won't listen to you.

Just be respectful when you talk to your parents because that's part of having good manners. Continue to be a good example to them, it might just rub off on them. If people are offended, you can offer an apology on their behalf in private to smooth any ruffled feathers, but you don't need to feel embarrassed. It's not your fault.

Also, different people have different ideas about what is rude and what isn't. They may just be innocently expressing their lively personalities or have outdated ideas they learned in childhood.

If your parents mean well, have patience and they may learn. If they are deliberately mean, you might have to limit or cut off contact until they've changed, but that should be your last resort after giving them a chance. Whether they mean well or not, they may never change, so you should be prepared to accept that you can't do anything about it. Only they can control their behavior.

Answer 3

I imagine you don't want to go through life apologizing for your parents or hide your friends from them out of fear their going to embarrass you beyond belief. Best thing to do is talk to them, without yelling or sounding condescending. Parents don't like when something they've created and are older than tries to criticize them whether it is constructive or not. Be sincere and tell them how you feel and then listen to them tell you why they act this way or that and not get too upset at what they may say. Change is a back and forth process, however it won't start unless someone can calmly voice that there is a problem.

Answer 4

They grew up with a different set of values -- perhaps they were not exposed to the same set you have chosen. Now that they are older, perhaps they are not choosing to change. Try speaking with them in a loving, gentle way -- not accusing them -- let them know that there is a different and more acceptable way to get the waiter's attention or whatever the situation is. Either they will be willing to try it or they will not.

Either way, they are your parents -- love them, accept them for who they are (including the bad). Believe me, if you outlive them, there will come a day when you will reflect on those situations and find that they were not all that bad.

In the mean time, do not make a spectacle out of them, or call attention so everyone notices their poor manners or rudeness. Gracefully continue on as if everything is fine -- respect your elders, accept them, love them.

Answer 5

They are supposed to teach you good manners but its the other way around. Tell them you will not go with them in public , only when you have to and you don't want them around your friends because they are rude.Tell them how you feel and what it is doing to you . Tell them they embarrass you and upset you by their rudeness.

Answer 6

What I wonder is how ,you would have good manners ,and your parents not. Jesus said ,to honor your parents. You did not say the age of your parents,which is very pertinent fact to the question.If they are elderly have more love and compassion, if they are 40's and not terminally ill or mentally unstable,fix them a cup of coffee and tell them " I have something weighing heavy on my heart,and tell them.If however,you live in Appalachia and your parents had no education,just be glad you got them.!

Answer 7

When you say rude, could you give an example. All kids at a certain age think their parents are embarrassing. Love your parents you only have 2 one day it wont matter what they have done you will wish they were around to embarrass you.

Answer 8

Tell them how you feel about them being roude,
They are your parents and you look up to them so they should set the good exaple for you.
That way they will behave the way they want you to which should be with good manners.
Hope this works good luck :)

Answer 9

For example, what do they do?

Try not to act ashamed of them. That is worse public behavior. Try to treat them with kindness and dignity, and possibly teach them some of the polite things you do, but without making it obvious or else they might think you're ashamed and feel it's hopeless to try. Just be kind.

Answer 10

Tell them straight up that they are rude and it embarrasses you. Tell them that if they continue to be like that, you will not want your friends to know them and would be eager to leave home as soon as possible and have nothing to do with them.