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and I'm taking it really hard and don't want another dog for awhile. but my hubby wants one ASAP to deal with it. My way to deal with it is that I got my dog's head tattooed on my ankle but he says the only way he can deal is if we get another dog. what should I do?

2006-09-23 14:09:51 · 24 answers · asked by jojo 2 in Pets Dogs

24 answers

First: My sympathies are with you both on your losses.

Getting a tattoo is an innovative way of dealing with the loss of your beloved animal. and a great way to remember them. (i kept my dogs collar with the tags on it.)

You really can't expect your husband to deal with his loss in the same manner as you because everyone is different.
Most men deal with a loss pretty much the same way as your husband. they go out and spend alot of money on something to replace the loss (a car, boat, etc.) just as you have with the tattoo. Or they withdraw. (something you dont want to happen)
It is never too soon to adopt another dog. You may not want one right now because you are hurting emotionally but he does for the same reason.
Take a trip to your local shelter by yourself and look at the dogs, do not take one home at this point but consider it.
Go home and talk to your husband about when an appropriate time would be to get another dog. Each of you has lost something that was a part of you. Perhaps it is time to consider getting a family member that will be a part of BOTH of you
A month is certainly long enough to grieve (You will never forget them) and an new friend will help both of you to move on.

2006-09-23 15:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

That's a tough call. If you're not ready for a dog, you may end up resenting any animal brought into the house. But if your husband wants a dog right away, he may resent you for not letting him fulfill his needs.

Maybe the two of you could sit down and have a calm discussion about the situation. Like any other loss of a family member or friend, the first few days afterward are a bad time to make any decisions. Hopefully, you and your husband can come to a time frame for getting another pet that works for both of you.

And if nothing else, try stalling for time. Suggest that the two of you investigate breeds that you're both interested in and visit breeders, shelters, etc. That will give you a little more time to heal up from your losses.

I'm really sorry about the loss of both your childhood pets in such a short time. May the good memories comfort both of you, and please give your husband my sympathies, as well.

2006-09-23 14:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 1 0

I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be devasted losing both so close in time. Everyone deals with their loss differently. Personally I have never dealt with this yet...I have 3 dogs...all on the older side...so I'm sure my time is coming. I've known friends who have waited and some have gotten a dog right away. It's all personal preference I guess. Sounds like your husband needs another one to fill the void. Maybe you should give it a week or so and see how each of you feels about getting another one. Good luck!

2006-09-23 14:17:01 · answer #3 · answered by momof3pups 2 · 0 0

I am so sorry for your losses. Losing 2 precious dogs so close together is extra hard. It is a hard question. I think you should not get another dog until you are both ready. Still, sometimes getting another one right away is the only thing that will ease your pain. Maybe visit the pound together and look at the dogs. See if one of them tugs at your heartstrings. Looking into the eyes of some of those dogs could change your mind.

2006-09-23 14:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This is certainly a tough one. I think that maybe he feels the need to give the love he has to another animal. I know from experience it is difficult. Just remember that everyone heals in his or her own time and in his or her own way. No other animal will ever take the place of the dogs you have loved. They were their own "people" with their own personalities. But getting another dog may help to get you through some of the hardest times.

I think you'll definitely have to come to an agreement with one another. Maybe you should let him get a dog. I know you're hurting now, but that extra little life in the house may be more of what you need than you know.

Good luck, and so, so sorry to hear about your little ones.

2006-09-23 14:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by class act 4 · 0 0

your husband has a point. For some people, the best way to get over a loss of a dog is to get a new one pretty soon after. Others, don't ever get dogs again. Its a personal thing. I'm going to have to say that this issue will probably escalate into somthing bigger if you two don't decide what to do soon. Also, if you decide for him, meaning you don't let him get a new dog, he will resent it. I know this from experience. I personally say let him get the new dog. It will probably hurt you for the first day or so but you will learn to love the new dog too.

2006-09-23 14:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by vail2073 5 · 1 0

My condolences. Dealing with the loss of a family member (and pets are) is tough. And we all deal in different ways, your situation being a case in point. How about a compromise? Say agreeing to wait for some time period before getting another dog to allow you some more time to grieve.

Also, please adopt from your local animal shelter, or from one of the many breed rescue organizations. You can find a list at the American Kennel Club web site, sorry I don't know the exact link.

2006-09-23 14:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by warriorwoman 4 · 0 0

You can never truly get over a pet that one has a deep connection with. You can get another dog but it will not make you forget about the last dog you had. My rabbit died a couple of months ago. I truly loved her and still do! Although i am thinking about getting another pet i will never forget her because she was something special to me. Getting another pet is fine and it will not take away your feelings for your last pet. Just love your new pet equally or even more which can bring you much joy.

2006-09-23 14:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Im sorry for your loss I know exactly what you are going through .I lost my dog yesterday I had to put her to sleep due to medical problems that was out of my control .

I was going to wait to get another dog but I was looking on the internet at the humane society here in our town and found a little dog that I fell in love with .

To be honest it has helped me out so much to have another little dog to love and laugh with again. But I cant live without a dog in my house though. I still have another dog my Siberian Husky

Pluto will never replace the dog I lost yesterday , but he has brought smiles, laughter back in the house instead of tears.

2006-09-23 14:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by dindy 3 · 0 0

I am so sorry for the recent loss of two beloved pets. They are part of the family, and it can be devasting. I recommend you read a book by Sylvia Browne on "Animals on the Other Side." She discusses how our animals never really leave us, their spirits stay with us. I find great comfort in this and her other books.

Also, there are so many deserving animals who need homes and go without...it seems to me that it would do you both some good (and of course the animal you choose) to open you hearts and adopt another one or two. You sound like wonderful "parents" and there are so many "children" who need you and caring people like you. Best wishes.

2006-09-23 14:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Rhonda 7 · 0 0

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