How do you handle your teenager leaving home?

Question

My 18 yr old threatened and threatened to leave and we finally opened the door for her. Now she is in heaven living with a friend with no curfews and running the streets when they want and with whom they want. What did I do?

Answer 1

how to handle them...do what my parents done....by the scruff of the neck and a swift boot in the backside straight out the door....

Don't worry she will come back.............................

Answer 2

Before giving any advice, I think what you did might have been wrong. The age of 18 is an age of transition, it's around that time that people start discovering and wielding their analytical sense. They may start to judge you, too, and disagree with some of the things you say or do. But that's not to say they know any better. They still don't know much of the world, and to "open the door" as you say might be an overly direct, offensive approach to a young person going through troubled, confused times.
Right now, your main concern should be supporting, encouraging, and keeping track of your daughter-not obsessively, but at least so you know in advance of emerging problems like drugs or a bad boyfriend(just because she doesn't live with you anymore doesn't mean she is any less of a responsibility, and your daughter, for that matter).
Try to regain and maintain regular contact with her - in an unobtrusive way. Email, email, email. Call every other week. Ask her how she's doing and what she needs. If she says "nothing", volunteer ideas. Sometimes, a simple thing like a work desk(if she's in school), a small fridge or even a nice, warm winter blanket will make all the difference. All youngsters will start off with money problems, so offer to help for vital things like a first small car, or any other necessity(school books, materials, internships - REFERENCES are very useful, for internships or jobs)
Always make yourself available for advice on anything from cooking eggs to searching for jobs.
Try convincing your girl that education is important. If she's in school, help and encourage her to stay in school.
If she already dropped out, either suggest the advantages of finishing school(better jobs, higher salary, etc.), or encourage her to enroll in a vocational program - or study and improve in anything she really likes. It can be anything, from technical certification to(don't get scared) tattooing. Was your daughter very good at anything as a child? Arts? Science? Languages? What made her click? Think about it, then start doing some research on government/local programs in your area, scholarships, training, grants/loans, etc. Find all the info you can get, then forward it to your daughter. This will probably show her that you care about her and want what's best for her-whatever that may turn out to be. And she might find something that suits her and become successful at it.
Don't hard-press her to come back(even though you might miss her terribly). Don't be sarcastic or standoffish, and say things like "You'll see...and then I'll say I told you so" or "You'll come running back...". Maybe your daughter is mature enough to start building a life on her own. Maybe she felt a little over-protected(and that's NOT a bad thing! To me, that's a great parent, if anything) in her parents' house, and now she needs to move on and experience the world. After all, that's where most of her adult life will take place - the big, bad world. Sooner or later, every young person must get used to taking care of themselves, and most of all, gain experience of "the world".
Finally, any transition goes on best if it's smooth and gradual. Offer all the support you can provide, but in time, you should think of slowly backing off and letting your daughter become a woman you can be proud of: employee, business owner, wife, mother, or maybe accomplishing her lifelong dreams, whatever they may be.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Ahh....the cutting of the apron strings! You pray alot, and grin and bare it! Let her feel her oats darlin' because she is going to find out it's not as easy as it appears. I take it this is your first child "out of the nest" othewise you would not be panicking as you are. When your daughter hits around 20, (maybe sooner), she will come around and actually apologize for the way she treated you; as long you don't do the "told you so", and the "get in her face" thing. When you have the need to talk to her on the phone, make sure it's short and sweet and to the point. ie: "we are having family birthday dinner on Saturday, you are invited, would love to have you here. Love you." Let her know that she is still a part of the family without making her feel guilty for wanting to grow up. It's a natural part of life no matter how hard and difficult it is for us.

Answer 4

Nothing she's an adult and free to do as she chooses. She could have left at any time, be glad she waited until 18 I had one daughter move out at 171/2. Time to get on with your life as she is hers.

Answer 5

trust yourself and believe that you raised your daughter right . . know that she remember the things that you taught her . . . while it seems that she may be out at all hours doing God knows what . . just know that if you raised her to be responsible, she will act that way . . we are all human and we all make mistakes sometimes, but just trust that she will do the right things . . . and call her a couple times a week during the day just to make sure things are ok . . .

Answer 6

give her time she will figure it out. Invite her to take anything from her room she wants/needs and then repaint her room and have a party. Remind her that you love her and will always be there for her but she is an adult and her choices are her choices.

Answer 7

Nothing. As an adult, she will learn the harsh realities pretty quick.

Answer 8

talk to him