If she cares enough she'll call and start to initiate, right?

Question

I find myself always having to initiate going out with my girlfriend. I understand that that is what a guy is supposed to do, but I've come to a point where I feel like whenever I call her out, it's because I want to see her and be with her, granted when we're out together, we have a good time. But if she wanted to spend time with me, I figure she'd take the initiative to call me and ask if I want to go out, I mean we are dating an all, and it's not like she has to fear rejection or anything. Do you agree with me? I don't want to be the one having to always call her out, quite frankly it gets tiring when you feel like you're the only one putting in the effort. What's your take?

I forgot to mention that the reason why I'm feeling in limbo is also because I don't want to call her and make her feel like I'm smothering her. We only meet once a week, really, so I don't feel like I am. If I had a choice I'd want to see her more throughout the week, but again, it's me having to call to meet up, and I don't want it always being me wanting to see her.

Answer 1

Grow some freakin' balls and act like a man.

Answer 2

To begin with: her not calling and asking if you want to go somewhere with her has absolutely nothing to do with her being "uncaring". Even in these times a lot of girls get raised to await the guy's initiative, good girls don't call a guy up, he gotta call first etc.etc.

If I can make a suggestion: meet with her and go where you can sit down and talk to her and explain her how the fact that she never takes the initiative makes you feel. I think the best approach is to tackle this by talking to her---people have various opinions on weather it is uncaring when the woman/girl does not call the guy and I have to say that this is not necessarily the case. She might be shy or maybe she got raised that way, and so the best approach is to sit down and talk, let her know how you feel and ask her to call you when she wants to see you...be patient, it still takes a while and more encouragement before she'll call more often...and Good Luck

Answer 3

Even though yeah some girls are old fashioned and wait for the guy to initiate anything, if it's always like that maybe you should tell her about how you feel like you are the only person making an effort. Maybe she doesn't see it that way and so she doesn't see how it bothers you since you initiate seeing her all the time she sees it like why should i when he'll do it!! But just be honest with her and she should be understanding

Answer 4

Well how long have you been dating? If not that long give her a brake, you know what they say about desperate women. If it really bothers you that much than nicely, even a little jokingly talk to her about it. NOT in an accusatory tone, but let her know you won't think ill of her if she did initiate a date. This problem actually sounds like a good one, at least she is trying to be a little old fashioned and if anything you may be being a bit insecure. Are you not sure of her feelings for you? Talk to her, I think it will all turn out OK.

Answer 5

I was in the same situation with my boyfriend he always was asking me to go out and said that he was always the one to call me yeah I called sometimes but not all the time. He wanted to be fifty-fifty so did I but I didnt know how. So I did just what he asked I called more and started to ask him to go places. Our relationship is much stronger and we have more fun. So just talk to her and you feel like you are the only one putting in the effort.

Answer 6

Before you try the "lets see how long it will take for her to call" game.... talk to her. Tell her that you feel you're putting in more effort in the relationship. If you communicate you'll figure everything out.

Answer 7

you're right. i had a similar issue w/ a girlfriend (i mean friend) of mine. she would always follow me wherever i went & say "can i come too?"; i was her only friend. i would have to think up everywhere to go, etc. and i could always veto anything if she ever thought of anything, which was like 1x a year, although i encouraged her to, but then she'd say "oh, but if you don't want to, you don't have to".

she was so timid it was really annoying. i'm not saying that's the case w/ your g/f (btw you sound like a good b/f) but i understand sometimes you don't want to be the leader all the time

(oh yes, she'd also literally follow me when we walked down the street, like if i stopped, she stopped, like a dog! i always told her to go first but she wouldn't lead anywhere, she said she liked when i did!!!) lol

Answer 8

talk to her about it then tell her that you feel like you are in a one-sided relationship- and if she wants quality time with you --call, and if she doesnot call, don't wait by the phone- go out and enjoy all the other wonderful women in the world, relationships are a two way street

Answer 9

I think you should actually discuss this with her and let her know that you don't mind if she calls and asks you to go out sometimes...be up front and see what she has to say.....maybe she is just really shy....maybe she is afraid of scaring you or making you feel like she is bugging you or something.....it's just best to talk to her about it...

Answer 10

There is a problem if you feel you are making all the effort. It is your problem and you must resolve it, in yourself or your girlfriend.

If you want to be play the passive, not the active role, maybe you should date men.

Answer 11

Talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel about it . Some women are taught that the man is to do the asking . Then if she still so not ask. Move on.