an Amish boy and his father were in a mall. they were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. the boy asked his father, what is this, father?'
the father responded, 'son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.' while the boy and his father were watching wide eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving wall and pressed a button. the walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room
the walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights and numbers above the walls light up. they continued to watch as the circles began to light up in the reverse direction. the walls opened up again and a beautiful young woman stepped out, smiling seductively. the father turned to his son and said, 'quick...go get your mother.'
2006-09-23 12:32:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the drivers side.
The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
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Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his Mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
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A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the woman.
"We dont have a maid," says the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
The maid says, "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."
A long pause and the man says, "Is this 567-5309?"
2006-09-23 17:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥Andrea♥~ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok people.... I do believe you are all idiots!!!!! I am sure that the teller of this joke knows it is an elevator and they know we know what it is also! I thought this was absolutely hillarious and very clever. But really, why do you people not get it?!?! I think the title was just that not a question.
Good job to you though I will definately rate your joke with a thumbs up!
2006-09-23 13:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by AmyDMomOf3 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
an elevator
2006-09-23 12:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A Time Machine.
2006-09-23 12:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
an oldie but a goodie ♥
2006-09-23 12:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its an elevator
2006-09-23 12:35:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
an elevator?
2006-09-23 12:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anne S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Welcome to the future.
From your joke I presume you have just arrived from 1963 in a time machine.
2006-09-23 12:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lift (elavator). So obvious!
2006-09-23 12:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Nasir K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
lol ive heard this one before, Its an elevator.
2006-09-23 12:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by puertofrican 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋