Anyone ever have a b/f that when he gets angry at me he calls me names--the worse you could think of--and then an hour later calls me and tells me he loves me and how rotten he just was to me and says he was just angry? He says all the things to me that I've told him in confidence that I don't like about myself and throws them in my face. I'm no longer with him but he always said it was my fault--that I made him that mad--can anyone relate?
2006-09-23 11:53:34 · 17 answers · asked by katie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thx everyone!! Was hard to choose best answers cuz they were all great--thx for all the support! Katie
2006-09-26 04:32:16 · update #1
i'm sorry he did that to u....he shouldnt have and no its not ur fault at all....i hope u find a much better guy than that....good luck.
2006-09-23 11:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by mr_fury666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations for not being with him anymore. Next, this was emotional abuse. I have been gulty of doing this myself, but only because I let anger get the best of me and that's wrong.
My ex bf used to throw things back at me as well, and it's hard to recieve cliche answers to this question, but the reason people do these things in relationships and the reason relationships don't work out is because there is of course an intial attraction, but people have MANY unresolved issues, and sometimes people need to spend time with themselves to resolve those issues. It took me SO long to learn that and realize that. People need time alone. People need to see the world. They need to step ina puddle and get wet instead of having a towel thrown on it so they can walk over it. Immaturity is the main culprit of this type of behavior.
It wasn't your fault, and sometimes we're the more mature ones ina situation and that is often the hardest place to be. Be strong and clean your conscience that you made a good decision. I've been through that and am still surviving, i'm not going to lie, especially when you're in love with a person, but the best thing to do is love yourself even more, even if you thought it not possible.
:)
2006-09-23 18:59:28 · answer #2 · answered by coochie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o wow hunny i no how u feel my ex still says that it was my fault an this one time i started my period so i wasnt feeling to good he told me i was getting fat an need to go to the gym well im like125 5'5 so wtfe GIrl u dont need him he is jus inscure and has to say mean things to make himself feel better f him u r way better than that and dont need that kind of person in ur life i no its hard trust me because u like him an he trys to make u believe the things he says but once he is out of ur life u will be alot less stressed an one day he will grow up an realize what an a s s he was but it will be to lat cuz u can do way better than that good luck hun :) hope everything works out
2006-09-23 19:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by my heart belongs to a sailor! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and it didnt work out. You will become the sheep while he is the wolf. Then he apologizes and U take him back, and since he knows you will take him back he will keep on doing it.
This is called emotional abuse... U r the only one that can put a stop to it If you dont it will become physical abuse...
2006-09-23 19:04:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cubanita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes..I was with a man for 4 yrs who was the same way,,,,He has a anger problem which should be addressed with a counsellor,,,,If you stay with him you will lose all self esteem,,,,Anger management classes would do him good,,,This man did go to classes,,,but dropped out,,,that just shows how much he really wants help,,,not at all,,,dont waste your time,,,or your life
2006-09-23 18:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by pinkshadow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um.. I cannot relate, but this guys needs therapy. You should not blame yourself for anything he did. It is impossible to make anyone do anything. It was all his fault and he seriously needs some type of help.
2006-09-23 18:57:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i certainly can relate to this. i had a boyfriend about 14 year's ago which made me feel so low about myself that i just couldn't see any point to my life. eventually my fab family helped me through one of the toughest times in my life and i left him. now i'm with someone who wouldnt dream of treating me that way. you deserve better than that. i think men like that are just so insecure that they feel the need to belittle you so that you won't have the confidence to find anyone better, resulting in them keeping you in their grasp.
2006-09-23 19:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you broke up with him because hon let me tell you it would have gotten worse.he needs help because theres something wrong probably in his family and thinks thats how to handle women.hon you probably stay with him cause you wanted to help him but let me tell you he s the only one who can help himself.hon its never your fault when he gets mad he wants to find someone to blame because he might not know why he gets mad.
2006-09-23 19:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by horsnetnet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, I HAVE THAT IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. YOU NEED TO GET OUT IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT IS GOING TO GET BETTER . I KNOW IT WILL HURT AT FIRST BUT YOU WILL BE HAPPIER WITHOUT HIM .I AM GLAD YOU ALREADY MADE THE FIRST STEP TO NOT BE WITH HIM BUT DON'T GIVE IN! MAYBE TRY COUNSELING BUT PEOPLE LIKE THAT DON'T LIKE TO CHANGE AND DON'T . DON'T WAIT TILL IT TURNS INTO PHYSICAL ABUSE MENTAL ABUSE IS ENOUGH!NOBODY DESERVES ANY KIND OF ABUSE! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
2006-09-23 18:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by lisababyg ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that guys an ***..don't worry no u didn't do anything....don't ever let urself think that..i cannot relate to it..but i know ppl who's been there adn see that what u saw and had done to u....its not rite
2006-09-23 19:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋