How Do You Handle Unwanted Advice?

Question

When the person that is providing the unwanted advice is 18 years older than you are?

Just because a person is older does not mean they are wiser. Have you ever heard of an OLD fool?

P.S. This is a constant problem, and of course it's not my parents!

Answer 1

I get that all the time...from people older than me blabbing something they read or heard (from the news or church or someone they know) that has nothing to do with my situation. Sometimes I snap and tell them that has nothing to do with me. But I've gotton so much bad advice over the years that I usually let them talk a bit then change the subject. And if they press it I let them know I heard them. Use reflective listening or something. A good rule of thumb is to remove their age in your mind. How would you feel about that advice if they were the same age as you? I imagine my parents or grandma the way they looked when they were young and take into consideration their belief system. It takes away the agism and the fear of crossing them. Usually by imagining them young and hearing that advice from their younger self, I can just roll my eyes or giggle, at least on the inside, and it doesn't bug me as much. People are just people, no matter their age.

Answer 2

I hope the advice is not from your parent. Because if it is then most of what they say is very true. But when your young it's hard to believe your parents know anything. If it is your parent then at least listen and think about what they have said you might be surprised that they could save you some pain on your path to adulthood. If it's not a parent and it's just someone you know then tell them I respect what your trying to say but I would prefer figuring this out on my own. Always respect people that are older then you but that doesn't' mean you have to take unwanted advice from them. Now if it's mom and dad then I would say listen and realize that if they didn't love you then they wouldn't bother.

Answer 3

Listen politely and do what I want anyway. And being older does not automatically mean you're smarter or wiser. If that was true it would mean that some sixty year who never learned to read or write would be smarter than a twenty-something who just graduated from Harvard or MIT. I don't think so.

Answer 4

The greatest put off for people who gives unwanted advice is when the person receiving it says they don't think they will take the advice because they think it is not good advice.

Answer 5

It's good to listen anyway. It might be advice you may need later in life. Even better it may be advice that you need but won't realize it until you are older. You never know!! If this person is of good character, listen up, you owe it to yourself. Not everyone is willing to expend their energy or their knowledge providing advice.

Answer 6

I always tell people that I will listen to any advice they want to give me, but I don't have to take that advice. Sometimes I think I'm too polite!

Answer 7

Respect and give them consideration.
They are the ones making effort, you just have to stand there. Don't agree to anything, just say "thank you, I'll think about it."

I think everyone deserves some respect -- even this question!

Answer 8

think for yourself. its only advice not an order but understand if they are trying to help, you may want to find out if they are right or not before just ignoring it

Answer 9

Just ignore the advice. You have all the power to do so.

Answer 10

You could thank them for wanting to help and then politely mention that what you really need from them is their support. (And be sure to tell them specifically how they can support you).