my ex-boyfriend is about to have a baby and it's making me feel very jealous because i was the one planning to have a baby with him just not now we are both 20 yrs but he wanted to have it a.s.a.p. so he left me and found himself anohter girl or should i say his prior girlfriend before me to inpreganate and now the baby is only weeks away. he is now in a realtionship with her becuse of the baby. i never planned to have a baby this young so i asked him to wait for me to finish college and start my career ( i plan to be a police officer) but he didn't now i feel like maybe i made a mistake and am missing out. it really has hurt my self-esteem becuse now i have that feeling of wanting a baby and becoming a mom. i just want to know what people out there think about this?
2006-09-23 11:16:47 · 15 answers · asked by alizenena 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You made no mistake. You took the mature approach to putting education before pregnancy. That was a very smart thing to do. I have no doubt that your heart is aching for what you have chosen to delay. But think about this: How firm were his feelings about you and his commitment to you if he went back to her just because he wanted to "be a daddy" right now. It will be interesting to see if he stays with her for the long term, or goes off to someone else when he discovers that she can't "go play" with him at the drop of a hat - because she has a baby to take care of.
Finish your education, and become a police officer. We need level headed officers, not those who are ruled by emotion.
I have no doubt that, in good time, you will meet a wonderful guy who wants to have a family, and starts by making you his wife.
2006-09-23 11:25:39 · answer #1 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he left you to be with his ex it wasn't to have a baby if that was his excuse he just an a@@hole. He still wanted to be with her. Another having a child is a big responsibility especially at such a young age. You have your whole life in front of you. You need and education and a career. I had a child at 19 and trying to raise him with a no good man and no education except for a high school diploma, I had to basically do it on my own. But that feeling you having a child and being jealous is normal you think hey if I get pregnant then that would feel some type of void trust it won't fill it just make life hard on you. If you want to feel like a mom then go and volunteer at a big brother and big sisters program or if you have younger brothers and sisters or nieces or nephews and ask if you could watch them for a week, make sure its a week where there is something big going on and you will realize you really don't want a child now. Like I was saying before, i had a child at an early age all that going out to hang with friends and partying was totally out of the picture.
2006-09-23 11:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by Divine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER... I repeat NEVER let anyone (especially a man) try to make you change your goals and dreams. If you had the same ideas of becoming young parents, then I could see where regret may come into place. BUT this does not sound like the case. GO TO SCHOOL and try to accomplish as many of your goals as you can. Once you are comfortable with where you are and what you have achieved, you too will be ready settle down and begin having a family.
The strangest part of what you said, is that he never mentioned that he wanted to married or to parent a child together with someone... he just wanted "a baby"... well, babies cost money and require a home, food and nurturing- if your ex was not capable of nurtuing a relationship with you, then he certaninly should have waited a while before becoming a father.
2006-09-23 11:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He left you because you didn't want to ruin your life by jumping into parenthood ~ LET HIM GO & STAY GONE !! If he couldn't wait for you to finish school & become able to support a child then, there wasn't real love there, just selfishness. The only thing you'll be missing out on with this guy is a life of nothingness, & misery & poverty. Finish school & become someone before starting family ~ this will give your future family the best start.
2006-09-23 11:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing and you are not missing out ,why would you want to be with someone who See's you as nothing more than a uterus to pop out baby's ,you want a man who respects you and your plans and wants you for your self and a baby togerther when the timeing is right .I worry about a man that is in such a hurry to have a baby ,What need is he filling?did he have a bad family life and thinks he can fix it by having a baby with just anyone?
2006-09-23 11:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, whenever someone breaks up with their partner and quickly gets with a prior girlfriend or boyfriend, it is because the (in your case your boyfriend) was on the rebound and was waiting for his first girlfriend to come back around. It is best for you to let it go. Focas on your career. A baby at this time of your life is not advisable. Do not have a baby because of spite or jealousy. It is not fair for the child. Please rethink your feelings and resolve the issues within yourself and move on. Good luck to you!
2006-09-23 11:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by ♪♫♪justpassingby♪♫♪ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and attempt to get her to seek for suggestion from from her moms and dads... through her talking to them provides her more beneficial concepts on wether or no longer she needs to maintain it or maybe adoption she has more beneficial concepts now than she will be able to later. Her moms and dads will locate out ultimately merely make confident that's now to not previous due. And be a strong buddy and attempt to assist/preparation guide her to make the options she needs and under no circumstances what every person "needs" her to do because she am has to address it later on in life no remember what she makes a call... and prefer the girl earlier stated her moms and dads will develop to the theory and convinced there's a probability they are going to loose it even if the received't damage her or the toddler. So encourage her to make her judgements which will income her interior the authentic.
2016-10-16 01:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important that you stick to what you belive in. You are at an age in your life where your decisions will change and you will go through major life changes. Motherhood will come in time but you need to be sure that you can provide for a child. Kids don't have anything but what we give them. This includes time love fun appreciation, as well as finances. You are on the right track. Don't ever let a man change your mind!
2006-09-23 12:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by laedeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Education and training for a career are two of the most important things in this country we all need to stop rushing away our lives and focus on developing a better future for our children. what I am trying to say is continue with your goals there are other men less eager to breed out there just find the true love that you desire.
2006-09-23 11:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by poppa bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just let it go. Forget about him and his girlfriend. You did the right thing. If you were not ready for a baby you did not need to have one.
This is just the way things were meant to be for you. Someone else will come along and they will be the one. You just need to get past where you are in your life right now and find that person.
2006-09-23 11:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋