My parents are the best people in the world...very giving and kind to me and my 3 sisters our whole lives. They have given us alot over the years. Now they are elderly and not in good health and my Dad had to give up working because he has very bad arthritis. They have no money. Their credit cards are maxed out and creditors are calling. They are very proud and have not told me about their situation. They always pretend they are managing but sister heard the creditors calling when she visited them recently. We want to help. Sister talked to my Mom about offering money but they are proud and became a little angry at sister. Do you have any suggestions on how I can help out? We don't have a ton of money but I want to help ease the burden without it seeming like a charity case. Suggestions?
2006-09-23 10:33:50 · 12 answers · asked by Sweet Potato Pie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Give them endless "gifts". There are soooo many occaisions where gifting is appropriate. For instance, Mother's day,Father's day, Easter, Christmas, birthdays,anniversaries, grandparent's day, National hug-a-friend day, etc. Make your "gifts" in $$ form, and encourage your "sibs" to do the same. If your parents object, reply with something along the lines of "Couldn't decide on a color" or "What to buy for the people who have everything?"- - Then let them use it however they choose. If they are getting a little "forgetful", you could always leave a few bills tucked here and there in their home, whenever you visit. The sweetest gifts are the ones you recieve without any obligation to acknowledge, except to good fortune,luck, or the God of your faith.
2006-09-23 10:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dottie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a problem since they refuse help. Could you give them money as a gift for an occasion like birthdays etc. Normally I would suggest you just told them how grateful you were for raising you and your sisters and you want to help them now etc.
You might contact their creditors and ask them if you could pay some of the money without letting your parent know. I hope someone here can give you a good answer.
2006-09-23 10:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are such a good thoughtful person. Just go to your parents and tell them you would be honoured to help with the bills and remind them about all the wonderful things that you remember that they did for you all over the years. Tell them that this is the only opportunity you and sisters will have to show them how much you appreciate all the love you were and still are given. Tell them it would mean an awful lot to you to be allowed to do this...like another gift. When you start talking and if they begin to say no keep on talking softly so they will have to hear you out. They probably got angry because it came as a shock that your sister overheard their problem before they decided to tell you. They must be tired out with worry. I so hope everything works out for the family. Good luck.
2006-09-23 10:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by Learner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Charity case"? Charity begins at home.
You and/or one or all of your siblings need to take control of the situation for the sake of your parents and their health. Life cycles are like that...they took care of you, now their children need to take care of them. No need for "pride", either way, since "pride" will be the beginning of the "fall".
Depending upon the income and the debt, you can do a couple of things:
If there's enough income, between them and you and your siblings to make payments on all the bills that are owed, call all of the creditors and establish a comfortable payment plan with each of them. It must be comfortable. In other words, the total of all that will be paid must be able to be paid without undue hardship to any of you, especially your parents. Once payment plans are established, all calls and mail to your parents regarding this must be immediately stopped by the creditors.
If this is not possible, depending upon your parents' ages and their circumstances, they may need to file bankruptcy. In this case, you will need to make an appointment to talk to an attorney about the situation. Try to get a free consultation and listen to the attorney's advice.
My best to you and your parents.
2006-09-23 10:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Seneca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a tough one if they are proud but how about helping out with small things to start, maybe without making it obvious what you're doing - take your mum shopping and buy her new clothes. Take some food in when you've been to the supermarket. Maybe if they are being helped with the day to day things then it eases the burden and frees a bit of cash up. When they're used to a wee bit of help, maybe they'll then accept a bit more. Slowly does it.
2006-09-23 10:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Shona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Intercept their mail and call the creditors letting them know that you and your siblings are going to help ease their debt by making some payments for them. If they don't know that your doing this then it will not seem like a charity case. The way I see it is that our parents brought us into this world and it is our duty to help them as they have helped us when we were in need.
2006-09-23 10:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have and am in the same situation ..if they refuse money try doing things for them that saves them money..perhaps pick up their groceries for them while you are out..that save gas money...help your family by having more get togethers that cater to your parents..at holidays and birthdays anniversaries give them gifts that help out at home..gift cert to gas or oil comp ..gift cert to grocery or walmart things that will help with every day expenses but not feel like its a charity even money in a card..my mother slowly accepted this help and then begin to let me help her in other ways after time...i imagine you are a parent yourself and you know or if not ill tell you its very hard to let you feel like you are a disappointment to your kids your folks could feel like they are a being a bad roll model because they can not pay their bills..I know and you know that's wrong but pride is part of life,...be there when and how much you can...slowly they will come around be strong! I am pulling for you and your family
2006-09-23 10:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
First of all get the credit cards and call all of them and explain the health things and loss of work. Tell them that they have nothing and you are calling for help. You are trying to avoid bankruptcy. They should work with you. Also tell them that the mail and calls are effecting your dads health. Not to call again. Good Luck
2006-09-23 10:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about send a few hundred dollars (or whatever amount you had in mind) to the mortgage, electric company and/or the credit card company under their name and account number. All companies will take pre-paid accounts, believe me! You can go to the electric or water or cable company in person. Cool?
2006-09-23 11:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you can ask them if you may pay down one of the delinquent credit cards only until things get a bit better for them, as you don't want to see their credit rating get bad, Oh yes thank you for caring, not every one would
2006-09-23 10:38:05 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋