why do my parents ignore my pleas for help?

Question

They must know that I self harm because it's really obvious, why do they ignore it?It only makes me do it again and again cos they keep ignoring me and I keep on telling them I'm down and depressed but they seem to think I'll grow out of it. I don't even know whats brought it on. I wish they would talk to me.
Can anyone help me?

Answer 1

Maybe they dont want to bring attention to it for fear of making you feel bad, or maybe they just dont want to admit it to themselves its happening for a valid reason. Have you tried taking one of them aside and asking them for their help about it? Do you know yourself why you do it? I think you should go to this website and talk to someone there, my sister is a moderator and will help you Im sure of it. Keep your chin up and make an appointment to see your GP if your parents dont help you. You are worth more than that and God knows being young is sooooo difficult. (i remember that much). Take Care of your self x

Answer 2

A lot of times people think that people harm themselves are just doing it for attention. So they'll ignore it, thinking that if the person doesn't get attetion for it, they'll stop. Other times, people, especially parents of a self harmer, will ignore it because they don't know how to deal with it, and it's easier to just pretend it doesn't exist. No one wants to see their child hurting himself, and sometime parents will just block it out and pretend it's not happening.

Do keep in mind though, that what's obvious to you, knowing that it's there, might not be obvious to other people, especially if they don't want to see it. I remember one time my chem class met outside because it was such a nice day, and I decided it was just too hot to wear long sleeves, and took my sweater off even though I'd cut my arm up pretty badly the night before. To me, all I could think about was keeping my arm turned so no one could see the cuts, and it seemed like no one could possibly look at me without seeing it. But as far as I know, no one else noticed. They weren't looking for it.

Self harm is a serious issue, and your parents shouldn't be ignoring it. Recognizing that you need help is a hard thing to do, and is a great start. You're presumably still a kid, so just telling your parents what's going on should be enough to get you the help you need, but things don't always work out the way they should. Since your parents aren't stepping up to help you, go to a doctor a school counselor, a teacher, another relative, or any other adult you trust. Your parents might be more inclined to help if they hear from another adult that you need it. If not, ask a school counselor or teacher for help. A relative or the parent of a close friend probably won't know what to do except tell your parents, but doctors and school officials (especially school counselors) will know how to help you even if your parents won't admit you need it.

Answer 3

People sometimes get frightened because they don't know what to do or how to handle a situation and the only way they can get through it, is to convince themselves that the problem will sort itself and go away.

My father has alot of problems in dealing with things and his way to cope is to work all the time when theres a problem, every minute that he can. My baby sister was born with a terminal illness and all the time she was alive my dad just worked and worked and worked and after she died he just carried on working straight after and pretending she never exisisted.. I have had alot of emotional issues throughout my life which my dad just ignores.

I hope you didn't mind me sharing that with you. Perhaps it could be the same thing with your parents.

I don't know you and the situation so the only thing i can suggest to you is to find someone near to you to help you. I'm not sure how old you are and don't want you to take this as an insult if you think you are too old but childline (24 hour free phone [phone]) are amazing. You can call them annoymously without giving your name and they will talk with you about how you feel and try and help you to take the action that you need to make things get better. I'd say you can call them when you are aged up to about 18, even after that you could try and ask them if they can give you contacts for other people who can help. I know alot of cities have help services for young people.

I know sometimes it can be hard to ask for help but believe me from experience i know that coping with things on your own is much much harder.

Good luck and Best wishes

xx

Answer 4

You must talk to somebody , your parents are helpless so they ignore your problems ! Are there any people in your life that you can turn to ? If you can't think of anybody ring the Samaritans they are great listeners and know about all the right places to go and get help !
I cold them the other day , I wasn't suicidal ,just needed some
independent advice and this lady was totally amazing !
Good luck, please get some help,we all need it at times!
Sometimes people from the outside are better in giving advice !

Answer 5

Maybe your parents dont know how to deal with it because they are only human too, they may think by ignoring it, it will go away. You need to talk to them and tell them to listen as you put your feelings across. Tell them you want to stop and you need their support, even if it means that they sit with you until the feeling passes. You also need to go to see a doctor. If you are depressed then it may be that you have a chemical imbalance and need something to help you get back of the right road to recovery. Theres nothing wrong with taking anti depressants, i think the majority of people are now on them with the stresses of living and making a living. My husband is on them, its done the world of good for him, and me.

Answer 6

sorry you are feeling down, we all go through stages in life where we feel down. you must stop self harming it does no good, you must realise that you are a good, special person and fight on through this. this is only a phase you are going through and you will come out of it believe me, even if you can not see the end in sight you must not quit you are a strong person and you must believe in yourself.maybe you should see a doctor, or do you have another adult you can speak to, sometimes parents are so busy they don`t stop to realise that we have problems, maybe they have problems of there own. chin up take a deep breath and smile you have the world at your feet and a lot to live for.

Answer 7

your parents probably know you self harm if its as obvious as you say, but they are probably afraid of upsetting you futher and causing you futher upset, as some self harmers try and hide it away from others. If you are ready to talk to someone about your depression then i would suggest calling a dedicated helpline who can advise you better of what to do next with regards to helping you get help and tackling your parents. I think they will be relieved if you sat down and spoke to them and told them what you feel you need to say to them. They are your parents and it's very likely that they have not come across this situation before and do not know how to handle it. I am no expert at depression but i am a mother and i know that your parents will have some inkling of what is going on and are just to scared to confront you with their worries. I do not think it is because they just don't care. I personally think if i suspected my child of self harm i would be a nervous wreck and frightened for my child but at the same time be in denial. No mother likes to think that her child is that unhappy. Like i say i am no expert on this but i would recommend you sit down and speak to them, if you felt closer to one over the other then sit and talk to the one you feel closer to if you cant face both together, but please do talk to someone. This is something i think you need help with to overcome. Please feel free to email me and i will try and help you in any way i can. Good luck and try and stay strong.

Answer 8

Hang on a minute. Have you asked them for help?

Do you do it so someone will notice and give you attention?

Firstly you be honest with yourself, next tell them why you are lonely and want attention.
I realise by answering you this is giving you false attention but the issue is with yourself not them.

YOU KNOW YOU NEED HELP AND YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET - SO GO AND GET IT.

Answer 9

if you really want help tell your best friend. he or she will tell the most understanding person that they know. trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!! i did it too. if you go out and tell your parents, just flat out, the will take what ever you use,even after you stop, and they will never trust you again. they will check your whole body and act like they had no idea like they didn't hear the things you said. some times you just need someone to tell even if its just a stranger. then take all that energy and put it in some thing good(painting, writing,whatever). you'll feel a lot better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love ya! peace out xoxoxo

Answer 10

talk to a councelor at your school or a minister at your church. They can talk to your parents with you to help them see the need for professional care to help you over come this! Do this as soon as possible.
Sometimes parents don't want to see the problems their children are having, or, because they don't know how to deal with the problems they tend to do nothing and hope the problem resolves itself. It is human nature, so please don't be angry at them, they are probably just as lost about what to to for this as you are. Sometimes they just need an outside push in the right direction.
Good luck!