Every relationship that I get into, I have major trust issues and it only seems to get worse. I am currently dating someone I am in love with (have never been "in love before") and we talk about marriage frequently. He tells me he loves me all the time but I just don't trust him. I don't have any reasons to not trust him either. I have been like this in every single relationship I have ever been in where I don't trust the guy. What the hell is wrong with me??
2006-09-23 08:01:30 · 19 answers · asked by italiana2683 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most of you are right. I watched my father abuse my mother for 23 years before she finally left him. I have been to counseling and am currrently in counseling but it doesn't seem to be helping me. I have talked to my boyfriend about my trust issues and his exact words were "You have to give me a chance. I'm a nice guy and I'm not a f*cking player. I love you". I have also been cheated on before. I was with a man who was leading a double life. Would love to hear more of your opinions.
2006-09-23 08:33:43 · update #1
go see a therapist to unravel your trust issue. No one on this site can answer that question, it's based on your own unique history.
2006-09-23 08:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My best guess, not knowing you, would be that you have had something happen in your past that makes you insecure. Whatever it is, you need to get over it because it is causing your problem. Some people think that because something happened in their past, then it is going to happen again. They then can't rest in the fact that it might never happen again.
If this is going to continue to be a problem, I suggest that you seek out professional help by going to a counselor or a pastor at church to get the issue resolved. If you don't, then it is going to keep being a problem and you never will have a healthy relationship.
You also could try what Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6-7 where he said, "Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." It always works for my troubles. When God's peace takes over, everything else is put under its subjection and everything works out OK.
2006-09-23 08:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way...i was in love with a girl and i gave up everything to be with her( yes I'm a lesbian, i hope that's OK) n she cheated, lie and everything else but i took her back because i told myself i need her and i wasn't nothing without her and that relationship lasted 2 years but i finally told myself i was worth more than that n i got out of it. Now I'm with sum1 else and she has told me over and over again that she want hurt me n that she will always be there, but I'm still have a problem believing her and trusting to her because of my last relationship. I only been in love once as well. And i always ended it be for i get hurt, but i learn to take it a day at a time, so i have been with her for 2months n im happy. So what im trying to say to you sweetie is just take it one day a time.
2006-09-23 08:12:42 · answer #3 · answered by Tiara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not cold feet its listening to your heart and knowing what its telling you. You dont want to trust him because you know your gut is right. You do want to trust him because you love him. The only way that you think you will be happy is to deny what your gut and your heart is telling you and doing something foolish. All truth is eventually revealed, so be patient, and don't bash your self for not trusting him. Just wait and watch and know what is right for you. Only you can determine when you are ready to trust him or not. Only you can decide if you should keep on or get out. Trust your heart it knows the truth and then when your ready do what its telling you to do.
2006-09-23 08:13:33 · answer #4 · answered by hidyho 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOme people are like that, and it really gets in the way if you don't trust him how can you love him? Just ask yourself that and most people only do that cuz they're afraid of getting hurt, ask yourself if that's why or is it just intuition. I think you're just afraid of getting hurt, so if you really love him try to trust him ok, I know it's easier said then done but you have to try if you wanna save the realtion ship with this guy. Try keeping a journal or something.to let down your guard it's ok to be afraid of getting hurt but you have to trust yourself and then you can trust him.
Good Luck
2006-09-23 08:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by outlandishb13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is definately you. Maybe you had something traumatic in your child hoood, maybe daddy was an ******** to mommy and you picked up on it.
Either way, your best bet is to get some sort of therapy. Your trust issue isn't going to go away by ignoring it, it'll just continually get worse. You need to talk to a professional about it, and they can help root out the source of the problem and eventually get you to overcome it.
2006-09-23 08:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Kinzel99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just dont want the love to go away because you no it will hurt to lose the one you love but if you truly love this guy you will be able to trust him unconditionally it is hard to trust through fears and doubts just make sure you are really ready before you get married because without trust a relatioship will never work look inside your heart does he really love you is so then you have no reson to doubt him follow your heart and love will always come out in the end
2006-09-23 08:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by tazzlane120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some male figure in your past probably hurt you or someone close to you, it could be a boyfriend or a father figure but i believe thats where it comes from, unless you just dont feel like you can trust anyone, in which case you have a more serious trust issue, much like my own, and i couldn't tell you how to fix it, actually i didnt tell you how to fix the first one, oh well
2006-09-23 08:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have trust issues,and those always spawn from something that happen in the past, Did you have a friend or witness a relationship where trust was violated? Has a ex-bf violated your trust? or is it that you dont trust yourself?
2006-09-23 08:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know you but i'm guessing somewhere in your life you experienced watching someone get hurt in a relationship like a mom or dad or sister ect.You probly picked up the untrusting trait from that experience.
2006-09-23 08:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by SHUG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where's your dad? Did he abandon you and your mom? Sounds to me like your afraid every guy will do what your dad did and leave you so you've developed this habit of "non-trust" and giving you the reason to bail out of the relationship first. Thus returning some of the power of "leaving" back to you.
2006-09-23 08:06:02 · answer #11 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋