2006-09-23 06:32:16 · 16 answers · asked by jusme 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
There was a fight in our local Fish & Chip shop last night. Two fish got battered.
2006-09-23 08:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by The Shadow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchdown.
Then came the second half...
First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five-yard loss.
The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other.
"Who made that tackle?" asked the ant.
"I did," said the centipede.
Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five-yard loss.
Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?"
"I did," said the centipede.
Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a 10-yard loss. Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?"
The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!"
2006-09-23 13:08:49 · answer #2 · answered by summerbrze 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Paul McCartney once bought Heather Mills a plane for christmas.
She can wax the other leg!
2006-09-25 07:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by ali k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lay upon a grassy bank
His hands were all a quiver
He slowly undid her suspender belt
And her leg fell in the river.
A poem by Sir Paul McCartney.
2006-09-23 06:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A South African gold miner was injured at work and had to have his right leg amputated.
After the operation he was talking to a fellow miner and said "I suppose I'm fucked now, who would ever want a one legged gold digger?"
His mate replied "Try Paul McCartney"
2006-09-23 06:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
'berek' that's funny. I was going to say I haven't heard the funniest joke yet but yours is good.
2006-09-24 06:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by Rob Roy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They kicked me out of the garden centre last weekend for fighting. It all started when this guy came up to me and asked if I was looking for decking...
2006-09-23 06:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by obiwrong 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There were two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Geez, it sure is hot in here." And the second muffin said, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"
2006-09-24 16:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by legallyblond2day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe not the funniest...
Why are single women thin and married women fat???
cause single women come home and look in the fridge and they dont see anything good so they go to bed
and married women come home and don't see anything good in bed ..and go to the fridge
2006-09-23 16:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not the funniest but still makes me giggle even thou its crap!!! 'Want to hear the joke about butter?, no you might spread it' Told you it was crap, another one ive thought of that's crap.want me2tell you about the 12 foot wall?, no you might not get over it' HA HA HA So Crap xxx
2006-09-23 06:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by fairylandk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋