Help! from Anybody?

Question

i'm 15 and almost4 months pregnant w/ a baby boy. my mom says if i dont put the ababy up4 adpotion i will get kicked out. it was an accident that i got pregnant. i use condoms, but i guess it broke.please dont judge me!

Answer 1

if you want this baby keep it, there is prorams for kids like you, so you made a mistake, it's ok you just have to take the messures to help yourself

Answer 2

I think the best thing you can do for your son is to give him up for adoption. He can go to a loving family that so desparately wants a child and cannot have one. So maybe your accident can be a total blessing in the life of an infertile couple.

I have a 15 year old step daughter, and I look at where she is in life and cannot imagine her as a mother. She is a wonderful person, and I am sure you are too. But as you stated, this was an accident. There is a lot you have to give up in being a parent. Most teens are not ready for that kind of self sacrifice (I was barely ready at 30!!) Maybe you are ready to no go out anymore, miss the football games, go to movies a once or twice a year. Once the baby comes, all the $ and resources go to diapers, wipes, new this, new that. If you don't breastfeed formula alone is probably $1200 for the first year.

Someone said your mom would change her mind when the baby arrives. You can't be sure of that. You have done an adult thing, had sex. You now have an adult situation, having a baby. So, maybe she thinks it is time for you to act like an adult and own up to your decisions (to be sexualy active). This is also why I would recommend adoption.

I am not sure whether or not you have siblings, if they are older, or younger. But, I know my SD getting pregnant (which I DO worry about) would be a big deal around here because we have a 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son. I don't want any more babies, but if she had one, I see clearly who would do a lot of the raising of the child. And, I am not too interested in that. But, your mom may also be concerned what this says to your siblings.

If you are a religious person, pray for wisdom. In the meantime, please take those prenatal vitamins, each lots of veggies and fruit, watch the caffiene, sodas, etc.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I am not sure what you are wanting for an answer here but I will do what I can. First you may want to call Childrens Services and see what your options are I know in Ontario that a parent can't kick you out unless you are 16 years of age and I am sure that is a pretty universal age. It should be your choice to keep the baby or not but you have to take into concideration your future as well since schooling will be almost impossible for you to do as well as a career and future boyfriends don't really look for a 18 year old with a kid. Write down a list of reasons to keep the baby and reasons why not to keep the baby and take a close look at which is longer. hope this helps

Answer 4

Dia, honey, I promise I won't judge you. If you were using protection, then there is a reason why this baby is on he's way.
You didn't mention anything about the father of the baby, is he in the picture....could he possibly help you. You are scared and confussed as to what to do, and I am afraid this is something only you can decide for yourself.

One of my favorite teachers used to make us do a pros and cons chart for different things..It helps..get you some paper and write down all the pros for keeping your baby..all of them that you can think of. Now, do the cons, I am not going to list them for you, because I don't want to hurt you or scare you even more than you all ready are. I also don't want to promise you things that aren't going to happen.

Your Mom can't legally force you into giving the baby up, but she can mentally do it. There are shelters, and homes that can help you if you decide to keep your baby. It's not going to be easy, but there is help out there. Don't let her make up your mind, this is your life and your baby's that you dealing with.

If you decide that you just aren't ready for a baby right now, then adoptions have changed so much that you can have an open adoption. That's were you will be involved in the baby's life. There are closed ones, that you won't ever see the baby, you deliver the baby and they take him right then. You need to seek some counseling to help make this decision. If you are in school see if there is someone there you can talk to. If not, then ask your doctor for a name of someone. Please, honey this is a life time decision. And again only you can make the choice, but whether you keep the baby or you give him up there are people out there to help you. I will definetly be praying for you and your baby, and that you will find just the right answer that is the best for both of you......

God bless us all................

Answer 5

First of all, forget about what anyone else says... Make up your own mind first. Can you live with yourself if you gave him away? If not then you need to start planning your future. There are loads of refuges and places to stay for young mothers. When you reach 16 you can start jobseekers allowance - this will give you a start moneywise (apply at the jobcentre).

Council housing often has places where you can live when homeless, just go to the concil and say you want to be declared homeless (again you must be 16).

Talk to other relatives, maybe you could stay with them until you're 16 if you get kicked out before then.

Try to encourage your mum into loving him, she still has 5 months to change her mind.

If you need any further help then go see your doctor. They can suggest support groups and give you all info you need on adoption and other possibilities.

Answer 6

I know it sounds crazy, but your Mom can't force you to do anything you don't want to-it is your body, afterall. Legally, your Mom cannot kick you out unless the courts are involved which is a long, drawn out process that can take years-especially when a baby is involved. Also, there are a lot of crisis lines you can call for help as well-I don't know where you are, but here's a couple: New York Foundling Hospital and Convenant House's 9 line: 1 [phone]...

Answer 7

if you don't want the adoption and you want to keep it. Then you need to go to the hospital to get some help if your mom is going to kick you out. I can't believe your mom is being like this. There are safe houses everywhere that will take you and your child in. They will feed you and your baby, but this is a hard decision to make. Is there anyone else that you know that will help you besides your mother. Such as, brothers, father, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. I really would like to see you have your baby and continue to graduate from school. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I think your mom is being a little harsh if it as you say...but it is the best thing for the child to be put up for adoption to a loving 2 parent family you are too young and I'm pretty sure your parents don't want to raise another child,it would,nt be fair to them to dump the responsibility on them..It would also give you a chance to "grow up" no offence meant by grow up..
P.S. I was adopted at 6 weeks old all i know about my bio mom is that she was around your age and could not care for me..I've had a wonderful life... I love my Mom and Dad
I hope you make the right choise for the child..
God bless...Lisa D.

Answer 9

You're 15. I guess you're living with your parents. Maybe your mom can't raise a baby. Who would stay home to take care of a new born baby?

Adoption seems like the best way! If you left home, how would you survive on your own--working and caring for a baby. I guess the father is young like you, so he doesn't have a job either.

Good luck!

Answer 10

What about the father's family? How does his family feel about it? Can you stay with therm?

But I'm sure once the baby is born, you mom will see things differently. Don't depend on her to raise the baby. She'll be there to help you out. That's what parents to.

If people do judge, don't let them get you down. Take care of yourself and your baby. Good Luck

Answer 11

I can't tell you what to do, but I can say that baby will NOT love you. Babies can only need. What kind of life do you want? Can you get it with a baby? You can't go to college. I tried to go even with a supportive husband. Do you have friends? You will lose them because you won't have the energy to spend time with them. I lost all my friends who did not have babies. Don't let your decision be a power struggle between you and your mom. Think about your own life.