If these new agey parenting styles are so effective why is each generation since baby boomers getting worse?

Question

I've noticed that a lot of people are really all about how the parent should not try to "control" the child. I once asked if I should consider swatting the rear end of a 10 yr old that was coughing for 2 days and plagued with body aches for refusing to take medicine. For that I was called a "horrible person" and other hostile remarks. I've been told that asking a child to apologize is "pulling a power trip". Each generation seems to be turning out more slackers, more whiners, more instant gratifications types, more dishonesty and less hard workers than the next since the BB generation. Then swearing at your parents got U a spay of whoop-azz and parents were EXPECTED to execute control and direction over their kids. Many parenting styles changed in the 70s and 80s. If this works why is it that in the areas of personal responsibility, work ethics, honesty, ability to delay gratification and work hard for a goal, etc. Gen X and Gen Y are to the Baby Boomers as a Yugo is to a Mercedes?

And no I'm not saying the BB are without problems. They had unreported sexual abuse of kids; they had a myriad of other problems. I am saying that the things that they did correctly perhaps should be kept not discarded. Also, I'm a GenXer btw.

Answer 1

Oh Girl, don't get me started! I could write pages & pages about everything from discipline to feeding, to putting a baby on it's back.....
You know they just learned about 15 years ago how to raise a child. Our parents did it wrong, our grandparents did it wrong, it's amazing we all survived!
Do NOT give a baby cereal until it's 6mo. My goodness! How did our parents survive when breastmilk didn't agree with them? My dad started eating pinto bean soup when he was 2 weeks old.....
And discipline. Kids can call 911 nowadays if they're spanked & they'll want to take your kids away from you. But look how kids are today. No respect for elders or society, lazy, want everything handed to them. I see so many kids with attitudes like they can do anything they want to and get away with it because that's the way they've been raised.
My parents & grandparents spanked me, fed me mashed potatoes when I was 1mo, put me to bed on my stomach... and I think I turned out pretty dang good!
The "experts" probably don't even have kids, or if they do they are probably little brats & they'd never let you know that, what goes on behind their closed doors.
Sorry, I just can't stay off my soapbox when it comes to parenting by today's "rules".
Smiles to you! :-)

Answer 2

It happens with every generation. I'm sure our grandparents said the same thing about their kids, and so on.

I don't know how swatting the rear end of a 10 yr old is going to make them less sick. You can try other tricks to get them to take the cough medicine. Try mixing it with some really sweet crystal drink, for example. People hit for no reason, just because they're upset.

There is nothing wrong with asking a child to appologize. Discipline needs to start at an early age, and needs to be consistent, for it to work. It needs to be age appropriate and your method also depends on the maturity level of the child. Children act up because they're testing you. They're around other kids whose parents raise them differently... so they'll test you in that way too.

Hitting doesn't work. Sure many of us were hit and didn't turn out horribly bad... but did we learn anything from the hitting? All the lessons I remember from childhood were from other people who made me think about what I was doing.

Answer 3

Yeah many parents are slacking nowadays. Some don't punish they're kids because of the way they were raised. They have to learn there are consequences to the choices they make (good or bad). Then some people have kids when they weren't ready for them so they sit them in front of the TV or with a video game, or buy them something to basically shut them up so they don't have to deal with them. Somewhere down the line of this life people started considering physical punishment for abuse. So the pops on the mouth for saying bad words or the pops on the behind for being disobedient have gotten slack. Don't swat him for being sick, you should have swatted him directly after he refused the medicine & explain why he is getting swatted. So he doesn't get it confused & think you are punishing him for being sick, but not refusal of the medicine. See the difference is I had a dad who had temperence issues. So I got swatted for things like saying I was just answering the phone, not knowing the answers to questions on my homework stuff like that. The trick is never to spank them when you are truly angered or you may just go too far. If you find youself at that point, you might want to take a breather & come back when you are calm to punish your child.

Answer 4

I really think that the way you raise your kids depends on the way you yourself were raised. If your mom and dad let you get away with everything and whine your way through life, that's the only way you know and you'll probably let your kids do it too. I'm not old enough to have kids yet, but when I am I certainly won't think that it's wrong to ask a kid to apologize.

I work in daycare right now and I see many kids walking all over their parents. The problem is that the parents just give in, and constantly make excuses for their children's bad behavior. If you kid is a brat, you should admit it. I think it's absolutely rediculous. I agree with you to some extent but I really think it all depends on how you were raised as well.

Answer 5

I agree with you. I feel there is such a lack of responsibility when it comes to parenting these days. Some (not all, of course) feel that it is the job of the education system to teach children how to behave. Teachers end up getting a bad rep, because there classrooms are out of control. However, parents are not teaching their children the basics of good morals, ethics, and basic character building. If someone chooses to have a child it is their responsibility to teach that child these things, and raise that child to become an independent adult. It seems children do not have responsibility these days, and when it comes time to move out into the real world they are clueless!

Answer 6

The problem with kids today is that no one is raising them. Children abandoned to day care in infancy have huge problems with aggression because no one taught them and because they are enraged at the abuse they've suffered since 6 weeks old.

Also, Upwards of 80% of americans say they hit their kids, so i'd say the hitting is a big part of the problem - it doesn't teach anything but fear and hiding.

We do raise our children non-coercively, because they must grow up and be in charge of themselves.

BTW, when our child was 6 he was dying from pnuemonnia and wouldn't take his horrible tasting medicine. We didn't hit him - we held him down and poured it down his throat.

Hitting a child is an utter failure of parenting - and it's a large reason why kids are as messed up as they are today.

If you knew the kids who are actually raised non-coercively, as I see so many in our homeschooling support group, you would know that these kids are smart, motivated, polite, kind, terrific. Bratty kids come from nasty, indifferent, abusive parents. Parents who treat their kids with respect - and who have firm expectations for behavior - are treated with respect.

Basically, what people have seen is that whoop-azz is creating more and more stupid, angry people who can't think for themselves and frankly we have more than enough of those.

Answer 7

I agree with you but I completely have to disagree with dillpickle. Both my parents worked and there was always plenty of love and affection in our home. I remember when I was younger I had cussed in front of my mom. Well that bar of soap that went in my mouth completely stopped me. Hell, I'm almost 21 and I still won't cuss around my parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles. I was also brought up that if you want something you WORK to get it. My mom had me at 18 and she didn't go and apply for welfare. She and my father worked to get the nice house they had. I moved out when I was 17 and then had my daughter when I was 18. I didn't had over my child to my parents and I also didn't depend on taxpayers to support my child. My fiance and I work to have our new minivan and nice apartment. I had my buut busted when I was a child too. I'm never been to jail, never been violent, never stolen anything etc. So much for my mom and dad parenting the WRONG way huh? lol

Answer 8

I couldn't agree with you more. The touchy feely new age concept of how to raise a child only creates a brat that thinks the world owes them and it is okay to not take responsibility for one's own actions. I don't believe in beating a child to near death, but if they deserve a slap on the face for backtalk then so be it.
There are many factors causing this. You have the educational system that has been taken over by for lack of a better term, Communists and Socialists. Joe McCarthy wasn't so off base. We were being infiltrated. Discipline guidance and structure are a necessity in a child's growth.

Answer 9

There are a number of laws written in the Constitution of what you cannot do to a child. Many parents from said countries abide by that rule fearing they might end up in jail or be reported. Most children from those countries are outspoken, highly independent and very assertive. l've noticed that it is way too much now to the point that those kids are disrespectful and too hard-headed. They may be a highly-developed country but what is happening to their moral foundation. Another sad reality.

Answer 10

I guess I'm lucky in that my family, friends and I are believers in the basics of educating a child, please, thank you, lots of love and affection, consequences, etc...
I do not use corporal punishment but I do have consequences for unacceptable behaviour.
I think people just have definite ideas on how they want to raise their children and everyone else (whether they have kids or not) also have an opinion!!
I think every generation says the same thing, "What is going on with this generation?!! It wasn't like that in my time!!"
I think all we can do is raise our children and hope they will be good solid citizens!