I'm dating someone that is bi-polar can anyone relate?

Question

I've been dating a wonderful man who is bi-polar, we love each other very much.. but I'm going nuts! We are both in our 40's. He flip flops back and forth.. he will say something one night.. that is wonderful.. but then a week or so later.. completely contradict what he said.. then he'll go back again.. like: I love you very very much and I'm falling in love with you... but then a few weeks later he'll say: I love you very very much.. but I'm not "in love" with you.. then a few weeks later he goes back to falling in love with me! Cripes! I love him very much and would love to keep building a relationship with him.. is this typical of someone that is bi-polar?
And please this is very serious to me.. only serious answers..

Answer 1

With bi polor it takes quit a while to find the right combinations of medicines, but when it is done, the person can lead a relatively normal life, and they have to take the medications each day, A certain number of major hospitals across the country are working on some new meds that may work wonders, the studies so far are fantastic, I believe in about 6 to 10 years it will be a easy to treat, where the person can live a normal life, it is hard to date or marry a person with a disability, but we all need love and knowing somebody is there for us, and also shows true courage, and to the person above who wrote why would you want to go through this, does that mean if her husband got cancer, depression, she will just pick up and leave? That shows her true character. As a disabled veteran, I am lucky to be blessed with a wonderful wife and family, I have seen the blessings come to them who care for the sick and disabled, give him a real good chance at love, God Bless

Answer 2

Yep. I can relate. About 5 years ago I dated this guy who was bi-polar AND schizophrenic. He had major ups and downs. He would lie a lot, he would hurt himself and then tell me it happened at work, he couldn't hold a job. He never actually told me that he had it. My cousin and his dad are good friends and one day, he had a bottle of pills sitting in his bedroom. I wrote the name of them down and did some research. I knew about his condition before we got together. He was for the most part a really sweet guy. Although, he didn't know how to sexually treat a woman. I think I may have been one of his first girlfriends. We dated for 7 months and there were a few times that I wouldn't see or hear from him for 2 or 3 days. When I would finally talk to him, it was like nothing happened. One time after that happened, I went to his house and he had a huge cast on his hand. He told me that he got it caught in a machine at work. Funny thing was, the week before, he told me he quit. I found out that he had been punching the tree in the front of his house for over an hour before his mom came home and found him doubled over in the front yard. The neighbors called the cops and he started chasing them around with a knife. His hand is just mangled to this day. It was an ackward relationship. A few times he said some weird things out of the blue that really scared me. I broke up with him because he strangled me and threatened to kill me while watching an episode of Seventh Heaven. Just out of nowhere he grabbed me and choked me and told me that if I ever lied to him he would kill me. Not that I had any intention of doing that, it was still the last straw. What straight 24 year old man watches Seventh Heaven anyway?

Answer 3

My son is bipolar. My doctor tells me it is a disease effecting the area of the brain that controls emotion. Please consider this with the love you have for him and compassion.
Making a commitment to someone with a serious illness, mental illness or otherwise, should be one of the most solemn decisions you ever make. If you commit and try to have a relationship based on what you or your friends or society might consider normal, and then become disillusioned and end up leaving, you may have done great harm to this person.
See if he will include you in couples therapy. These are some beautiful, creative, brilliant, sensitive souls, VERY much worth the efforts, but please go into it with eyes (and heart) wide open!

Answer 4

my mother is bi-polar, she never had a man who would stick by her. These people do not choose to be sick. They also cannot stick to meds on their own. it is just part of the disease. If you love him, stay with him and accept that this is an illness. Even on their meds and with things going well, the dr.s will always end up switching meds around and jacking up the process, it seems like there is no good med combo that works long term. I know it is hard to deal with, so you have to ask yourself..is this something I can deal with long term?? if not, do yourself a favor and get out now. Best of luck to you no matter what your decision. Yes, that behavoir is very normal for a person that is bi-polar.

Answer 5

I work with children (and often their parents) who are diagnosed with Bi-Polar. The symptoms vary from type to type, but the best description in general of someone with Bi-Polar disorder is the mood changes and impulsive behaviors. Some people spend money uncontrollably, not worring about the impending debt they are building up. Some people tend to be controlling and use their statements to gain control. Medicine helps control some of the symptoms. People who maintain their medication levels live relatively normal lives. Talk to your boyfriend about his meds.

Answer 6

well, bi-polar or not, is this the kind of person you really want to invest time and feelings into? It's lose-lose for you really. Think about it this way:

Is he getting treatment for his bi-polar? Medication, psychotherapy, etc.? If he is, and he's still acting like this, then maybe it's not the bi-polar, but just him. That's a red flag, and you should maybe think about not getting so serious.

And if he isn't getting treatment for his bi-polar, do you want to be committing to someone who isn't responsible enough to take care of a medical problem they have? Who doesn't care enough about you to fix behavior problems which hurt you?

Think about it, either way thumbs down.

Answer 7

I think it is. Does he take meds? If he does they should HELP level him out a bit, but nothing is a sure cure. My Godson is bi-polar and acts similar. When they are in a manic state, they are very loving, upbeat etc, but when they are on a down swing, they can be mean, moody and less than sociable.

Answer 8

Mmmm, actually i see there being nothing wrong with someone's feeling like this. It would sound to me he's not sure of you and all whats taking place. This bi-polar thing is way way overrated... have you thought of looking at yourself to see if you may be the cause of him liking you more at some point than another? Just a thought... And sorry if I offended you.

Answer 9

I am bipolar and lost a wonderful girlfriend to it. My wife is coping stressfully with it, but I do seem to have gotten it more under control with medications, lithium, effexor.

Supposedly, sufferers' mood swings get worse with time. I don't know yet - I am only 34.

When a person's moods fluctuate, so do the attitudes and beliefs he possesses. Try to concentrate on the words and sentiments when he is "level". That's who he truly is. Be patient and try to ignore manic or depressed statements about his love.

Answer 10

my partner is like that, he tells me he loves me then he has a bad day and he says he hates me,i get it all the time,but its just them,its hard to get used to brcause you dont know wether your comming or going, i used to work in mental health so i suppose im getting used to it